Return to Camp [Big Dream] [Found My Life's Purpose: Dream ] [RT: Camp]
Scene 1. [I'm not sure if I remember this scene or not] I'm with my wife we are going to a place I've been before. We're going to meet some friends there.
Scene 2. We arrive. We settle a couple of things into our room. I may change clothes. We decide to go to the main meeting all. I'm very tired. We are expecting some friends to meet us. They're not here yet.
Scene 3. Cindy and I decide to lay down and wait for our friends to come. I fall asleep. Our friends come. But instead of waking up they snuggle in right next to us so there's four of us all snuggled together. The woman has blonde hair. I don't think she has any clothes on. I adjust my position so that I am close to her. It's like I'm petting her. I'm rubbing her hair or the back of her neck or something that it's not sexual but it's very sensual and very personal.
Scene 4. I'm in the same room but I'm now by myself. That's not correct I'm just not with Cindy and my friends. I'm with another woman. I'm playing some sort of game. It's a group game. In the same room there seems to be planned occasional small musical performances. There's someone that I want to see name Carol. [The name comes up I'm not sure if I'm remembering it from the later part of the dream or not] The woman that I am with is very familiar. I begin to get the sense that I have been to this camp before. But I came by myself. Now I return with my wife and friends. But I had all these relationships or brief ones previously.
Scene 5. I'm still in the room but now I'm on a mission because now I have more fully woken up and I'll look over and sense that my friends are not there I don't know what time it is. I don't know how long I've been asleep. So what I want to do is go back to the room [don't remember exactly] and reconnect with them. I want to start whatever process we were planning on doing. Some sort of outing or to have fun somehow. But I don't know where my room is.
I don't have any shoes. I can't find my shoes. I'm confused which shoes I brought. Either my sandals on my clogs. I look in front of me and there's this giant pile of shoes, it is maybe 3 feet tall and 4 feet wide. I look around can't but can't find them. Then I find them. I go and I ask somebody, "Did you hear CarPlay [?]. I'm confused as I think I'm asking my wife or my friends.
Scene 6. As I go through the door I'm out on the porch. I run into a very attractive young woman. I sit down on something like a rocking chair. She sits in my lap. She has some features that are like Patty Cogswell. She sits in my lap and I am recalling back to when I was there before. We've had some kind of brief joyful emotional connection. But now I'm very sad because that connection seems completely inappropriate considering I'm here with my wife. I tell her that she is beautiful and wonderful but I had absolutely no right to open myself up to her. She does not particularly react in a positive or negative way. She's just pleasant. I continue my search to get to my room.
Scene 7. Now I am seriously searching for my room but I am totally completely lost. I'm walking through some dark woods. I run into a couple of guys. I see they very tall and athletic. And they say it's this way. One or both of them may be a women. We walk through the woods and we get to an area that is somewhere between wet sand and mud. It's very hilly. Again I remember back to when I was at the camp before. And I asked them "was this covered in snow?" That's doesn't really make any sense even in the dream. Because I think about this area being dry and sunny. Like a big slow sandbox to play in. But I asked him if it was covered by ice and snow. I think they say yes, I'm not sure. I continue my trek, now I am walking uphill and I am beyond clueless where I'm supposed to go.
Seen 8. I meet another woman from my previous trip to camp. She looks at me and makes a comment about my shirt. She says something like that shirt is interesting. Or it's not exactly the best look for you. I'm not sure exactly what she said but I definitely get the idea there's something odd about my shirt. Well I definitely have the sense that I know this woman and we have some history and similar to the other one it was very intimate on some level. I just continue on my journey.
Seen 9. I am next to an outdoor shed or something and I run into yet another woman, who I am also familiar with. I find her very attractive. I have this rush of a familiar emotion. But the conversation is on my shirt so she makes another comment about my shirt and how it looks different in someway. I look very close only at my shirt. And I think I'm wearing a Hawaiian shirt. [Now that I think about it a guy was wearing at the party the other night that I thought was cool] But I'm not wearing a Hawaiian shirt I'm wearing a Christmas shirt. It's short sleeve. It is basically red with white designs on it. I take the shirt and I rip open the buttons I take it off. I briefly considered that now I'm going to not even have a shirt but I have a T-shirt on underneath. I take the shirt in that little building/shed that was next to me. It is now like a trashcan. I just throw it in there. And continue on my journey.
Scene 10. Now the scene gets increasingly bizarre. I walk up hill and now I see the facility but I still can't get inside. I walk up a series of stairs and I can sees through the window but not clearly. So I'm still not sure if I'm looking into a residential part of the complex or something else. The stairs lead right up to the wall/window. There's no door to get in. I go back down the stairs and I come to a giant side of the building. It's metal. The side of the building begins to move. It's a large industrial door. As the door opens it opens vertically so it like goes up like a home garage door. I begin to see people's feet. There's a lot of light and noise activity. Now I try to put on a raincoat or something that would protect me from a bunch of mess and splashing. Again it's clear that I've been there before and I'm prepared to do some kind of very messy job. There are two young men. I explain to them that I am completely lost trying to find my way back to my room. And they point me in the right direction.
Scene 11. I am walking up a pair of stairs possibly an escalator. Things are now very well lit within. I see two young men. One of them is younger and/or shorter than the other. I talk to him briefly and ask him if he can help me and point me in the right direction. Then I find myself talking to the other guy. He is not helpful at all. And tells me that the younger guy/smaller guy can help me. But that I have to keep up with him. And I see this guy has dashed off in some direction and I start following him. The more I follow him the stranger and stranger things get. I can't see him but I feel like when I look ahead I just see his foot or I just see him disappearing around the corner. So I feel like I'm on the right path. I am in some large room with high ceilings. It feels like it has ice that you're supposed to navigate or that you can navigate in some way. It's along the sides of the room. And then down the bottom the ice gives away to water. It's almost as if like you're walking in a penguins cage at the zoo. The ice is not super slippery. You can walk on it. But it is only the size of a single foot to stand on. I keep moving and make it to the other shore. I see the guy I am trying to follow has disappeared up a steep slope and I follow him up there. But as I get up there the slope turns into a very narrow twisty dark cave. Now I tell myself it's too scary it's too small there's no way I can keep following him through that maze.
Scene 12. I am suddenly inside a room very calm and organized. There is a table were two men that I am familiar with are sitting or standing. They recognize me. I am very relieved. I say I've been trying so hard to get here. They smile and welcome me. Then I ask them how can I get to my room. The entire scene goes dark I'm thrown out of the dream.
I wake up and try to go back into the dream. I go into the wrong dream. When I got to that room I thought I was at the end of my quest of the previous dream. But now I'm afraid that I had reached my dream mentor and not realized it. I've been looking them for so long and that I seem to keep having brief encounters with. But because I was confused I asked the wrong question and the dream ended.
Notes: When I awake I hear Cindy's voice through the door. She is waking Julia up for school. So it must be close to 8 o'clock. I had previously set an alarm for 8 o'clock. Cindy knocks on the door and wakes me up. We have a brief conversation about logistics for the day. I try to close my eyes and try to recall the dream in as much detail as I can. I consider using Google Maker. But I'm still very confused on whether I had had a previous dream where I went to camp by myself and had actual detail encounters with all these women. Or if that was just a figment of the other dream. So rather than name all the scenes and use Google Maker I just try to remember as many of the different facets as I can and wake up and start recording.
When I woke up I had A definite feeling of sadness and loss and confusion and helplessness.
As I am recording the notes on this I am concerned about my ability to interpret the meaning of the dream. I'm thinking about the relationship with my therapist. I'm thinking about getting a therapist who is a specialist in dream interpretation.
The two men in the dream reminded me of men at ManKind Project. So now I'm thinking I need to go back to the ManKind Project because that's where "I feel more comfortable and at home and I'm so glad to get there”.
References to the real world during the day: at least one of the scenes was reminiscent of American ninja. Where you have all these obstacles to get over watching it just before I went to sleep. I know I need to register for Shakori Hills for my ManKind Project booth. This may be why I was thinking of ManKind Project. I'm not sure. The camp/lodge is very large and complex. The complexity of the quest and my confused disorientation are reoccurring themes as well.
It's taken me close to 45 minutes to record this dream. I definitely, definitely need to go to bed earlier. Give myself more room. More time for dream work if I'm going to get going in the morning. Waking up at six naturally and then having time to deal with my dreams sounds about right.
I want to become a Jungian Lucid Dream Therapist. I’m too old. I need to live a long time!
Note during editing on September 12th: I AM EXACTLY OLD AS I SHOULD BE. Maybe a Dream Facilitator. Who knows what. I need my own dreams more lucid, better understood before I hang out a shingle.
Marija Gauci
The Wounded Healer
This project expresses a longing towards a reconciliation of the fragments of the self, whilst exploring the inner aspects of one’s bare body. It is a desire to connect between the eternal paradoxes within oneself. The self does not cease to sew oneself, thus does not disintegrate but manifest into a constant reflection. Although it is seemingly violent, it is driven by empathy and a commitment to understand growth
Explore more:
Jung's Red Book and his archetype of The Wounded Healer.
Chiron (Greek mythic centaur) earned the title of a “wounded healer”
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