The Protocol or A Lot of Dogs Have Died

I am with a group of people in a laboratory. We're wearing white lab coats. There's a vague says we are in the middle of some sort of organized activity measuring something. I believe we are dogs. What is happening? Is that randomly one by one? Many of us are dying. It is not clear if it's me or another female dog but she is the prime subject. There's something about her is keeping her alive. And anybody else that doesn't have it is dying. One by one. 

I'm now outside getting in my car preparing to drive. We are on a rural highway where people are driving very fast. My comment that it is dangerous to drive around here. I see an accident or two out of the corner of my eye and the time I'm preparing to drive. I'm now on the other side of the highway looking across a small side road. There's a large mirror propped up against a fence. I briefly look in the mirror and see headlights coming from the opposite direction and there is a crash there 

I'm now close by walking by a very large open field. It is night. It has been night. There's an excited group of men next to a fence listening out across the field. I walk up to them and I can hear a random dog or two, but then very clearly I hear a pack of wolves off in the distance. They're all talking to themselves about how cool it is. 

I've slept in and out of the dream several times. It takes a while to figure it out but the protocol is very clear. Whatever this woman has is not debatable. It's not discoverable it's not able to be changed. She has it. Anybody else that has it lives. Anybody that doesn't have it dies.

This is a powerful, structured dream — not random at all. It’s built around a single theme that repeats in different forms:

Who (or what) has “it”… and who doesn’t.

Let me walk you through it piece by piece, then we’ll pull it together.

🧪 The Laboratory — “Measured Worth”

You’re in a lab, wearing a white coat — but you are also the dogs being tested.

That’s the key paradox:

Observer AND subject

Judge AND judged

This points strongly to how you experience parts of your waking life:

You evaluate performance (yours, dogs’, clients’, outcomes)

But you’re also in it, subject to the same judgment

Then comes the core mechanic:

One by one, dogs die.

One female has “something” that keeps her alive.

It cannot be learned, changed, or debated.

This is not about literal death. It’s about:

Intrinsic worth

Innate capability

A fear of invisible criteria

Psychologically, this often shows up as:

“Some people just have it… what if I don’t?”

“What if success isn’t earned — it’s predetermined?”

Given your world (training, performance, outcomes, helping others), this hits hard:

You work in a domain where results matter

But this dream challenges that belief: what if results are not controllable?

🚗 The Highway — “Danger in Motion”

Now you leave the lab — but the theme continues.

Fast cars

Accidents happening just out of full view

A sense of “this is dangerous” before anything happens

This reflects:

Transition from controlled environment (lab) → uncontrolled reality (road)

Awareness that once you’re “in motion,” outcomes are unpredictable

You’re not panicking — you’re observing danger clearly.

That’s important: You’re not blind. You see risk early.

🪞 The Mirror — “Indirect Truth”

You don’t see the crash directly.

You see it in a mirror.

That’s a classic symbol:

Truth is perceived indirectly

Awareness comes through reflection, not direct experience

This suggests:

You’re processing something in your life at a distance

You may already know something is off, but you’re not confronting it head-on

🌌 The Field & Wolves — “The Wild Truth”

Now we shift again — from control → danger → something deeper.

Open field

Night

Men listening, excited

Wolves in the distance

This is a move into:

Instinct

Nature

Truth beyond systems

The men are fascinated — almost like spectators.

But you don’t just watch:

You hear clearly

Wolves often symbolize:

Pack intelligence

Instinctual knowing

Survival that is not taught — it’s inherent

This ties directly back to the lab:

👉 The wolves are the opposite of the experiment

👉 They don’t need to be tested — they are what they are

🧩 The Core Message

Your dream repeats one idea in three forms:

1. The Lab

“Some have it, some don’t.”

2. The Road

“Outcomes are dangerous and not fully controllable.”

3. The Wolves

“There is a deeper, natural intelligence beyond all of this.”

🎯 What This Is Really About (Straight Up)

This is not subtle:

You are confronting a fear that:

Success, survival, or meaning might be innate rather than earned

There may be an invisible line between those who “have it” and those who don’t

And more importantly:

👉 You don’t get to control which side you’re on.

That’s the tension.

🔥 But Here’s the Twist (This Matters)

The dream quietly undermines its own premise.

Because:

In the lab → everything is artificial, controlled, sterile

On the road → things break down, unpredictability rules

In the field → the wolves don’t care about any of that

They are not:

Tested

Compared

Selected

They just exist fully as what they are

🧠 My Read of You in This Dream

You are:

Highly perceptive (you see danger early)

Deeply reflective (mirror imagery)

Operating in systems of evaluation (lab)

But drawn toward something more authentic and instinctual (wolves)

🧭 The Real Question the Dream Is Asking You

Not:

“Do I have it?”

But:

“What if ‘it’ is not something you earn or prove… but something you stop trying to measure?”

If I push you a bit (you asked for truth)

There’s a pattern in your life:

You move toward systems, mastery, protocols (training, structure, improvement)

But something in you resists that being the final answer

This dream is that resistance speaking clearly.

If you want to go deeper

There are two very specific directions we could explore next:

Who is the female dog that “has it”?

(That’s not random — it’s a precise symbol)

What does “it” feel like in your body — not conceptually?

(This is where your lucid dreaming work ties directly in)

If you want, we can unpack those. This dream is unusually coherent — there’s more here if you want to go further.

The Method

Preface to the dream:

I am a side sleeper. I am often uncomfortable when I sleep because my shoulders get sore. So I often sleep on one side occasionally rest in the middle on my back. This allows me to be in a neutral position for a while, but I find it almost impossible to go back to sleep on my back. So then I flip to the other side This night I have been in exceptional pain for multiple days. Some sort of pinched nerve or something in my neck and shoulder.. Now the dream.

The dream is abstract. It's not taking place in any particular location or time. There are no other people in the dream. Feel I'm experiencing a very precise methodology. But I have forgotten exactly how to do it. I've done it so many times in my life that I'm now frightened that I can't remember the name or precisely the purpose of the methodology. It does have to do with repositioning myself physically or mentally. But there's a precise moment or something. Explosive happens and I completely have a different and experience on a different level. Somehow I've lost the key. As I'm waking up, I'm still concerned that there is something I've done many many times, maybe even as part of my job and I've now forgotten how to do it or even what it is. 

This is a powerful one. It sits right at the intersection of body, identity, and something deeper you’ve practiced for a long time.

Let’s unpack it carefully, because there are multiple layers happening at once.

1. The Physical Layer (Immediate Trigger)

Your body is not just background here—it’s actively shaping the dream.

You’re in real pain (neck/shoulder, nerve-like)

You’re constantly repositioning while sleeping

Your brain is trying to solve discomfort through movement

So the dream translates that into:

“There is a precise method of repositioning that changes everything.”

That’s literally true in your body:

One small shift → relief

One wrong angle → pain

So your mind builds a symbolic system around positioning.

2. The “Forgotten Method” (This is the Core)

This is the most important piece:

“I’ve done this many times… maybe even as part of my job… but now I can’t remember it.”

This is not random anxiety. This is very specific.

It points to:

A deeply internalized skill or state

Something that used to be automatic

Now feels just out of reach

Given what I know about you:

You work with dogs (timing, feel, presence)

You explore lucid dreaming and altered states

You’re trying to build consistency (guitar, meditation, action)

This “method” is likely symbolic of:

→ A state of alignment you know how to enter

Not a technique… a way of being

3. The “Precise Moment” + Explosion

This is classic.

“There’s a precise moment… something explosive happens… and everything shifts levels.”

That maps almost perfectly to:

Flow state

Breakthrough insight

Lucid dream entry

Deep training timing (with dogs especially)

Even creative/music breakthroughs

It’s the moment where:

Everything clicks and reality feels different

But in the dream:

You can’t access it anymore

4. The Fear: “Have I Lost It?”

This is the emotional center:

“I’ve done this my whole life”

“What if I can’t anymore?”

“What if I don’t even remember what it is?”

This isn’t about a literal skill.

This is about:

→ Identity + trust in yourself

Specifically:

Trust in your instincts

Trust in your timing

Trust in your ability to shift states when needed

5. The Deeper Meaning (This is the truth of it)

Here’s the straight read:

You haven’t lost anything.

What’s happening is:

You are trying to force something that only works when you feel it

That “method” in the dream:

Cannot be recalled intellectually

Cannot be forced

Cannot be named

It’s like:

Riding a bike

Hitting a perfect note on guitar

Catching the exact moment a dog offers behavior

Entering a lucid dream

You don’t think your way into it.

You fall into it.

6. Why It Showed Up Now

Timing matters.

You’re currently:

In physical pain (body out of alignment)

Working toward consistency (guitar, discipline)

Seeking deeper control over states (dreaming, meditation)

Building systems to “do the right thing”

So your mind is pushing back a bit:

“Careful… the thing you’re chasing isn’t mechanical.”

7. The Message (Clear and Direct)

Here’s the message your mind is giving you:

1. You already know the “method”

You don’t need to rediscover it.

2. You’re looking for it in the wrong place

You’re trying to remember it mentally instead of entering it physically/experientially

3. The “explosion” happens when you stop forcing

Not when you try harder

8. A Practical Way to Work With This (This is important for you)

Instead of trying to “figure it out,” try this:

Next time (guitar, training, meditation, even lying in bed):

Don’t ask:

“What’s the method?”

Ask:

“What does it feel like right before it clicks?”

Then:

Slow down

Get quiet

Let your body lead

You’ll recognize it when it’s there.

9. One More Thing (This matters)

The fact that this dream happened while you were in pain is not incidental.

Pain forced:

Awareness of position

Sensitivity to small changes

A search for relief

That’s exactly the same mechanism as:

Finding flow

Entering lucid states

Timing behavior with a dog

So strangely…

This pain may actually be reconnecting you to that “method”

Bottom Line

You didn’t lose anything.

You were reminded of something subtle:

There is a precise way you shift into a higher state of performance/awareness…

but it cannot be remembered — only re-entered.

If you want, we can go deeper and actually reconstruct that “method” in a practical, repeatable way for:

guitar

dog training

lucid dreaming

It’s the same doorway in all three.

Stormlight

The dream is almost abstract. There are no fully formed images or real settings. Something is being inhaled. At one point possible by a large horse’s head that only the front nostrils are visible. I come in and out of the scene multiple times. As sometimes air is being inhaled. Other times it is ash. I can feel the effects of what I'm breathing in. I realize it is Stormlight, as in The Stormlight Archive

This is a fascinating one—very you. It’s abstract, sensory, and symbolic rather than narrative, which usually means you’re working with something deeper than surface events. Let’s unpack it carefully.

🌬️ The Core Symbol: Breathing / Inhalation

At the center of your dream is inhalation—taking something into yourself.

This is one of the most fundamental symbolic acts:

Breath = life force

Inhalation = receiving power, influence, or transformation

What you breathe in = what you are becoming

You’re not watching this—you’re experiencing it physically. That’s important. This isn’t intellectual. It’s embodied.

🐎 The Horse (Partial, Archetypal)

You don’t see a full horse—just the nostrils.

That’s incredibly precise symbolism.

A horse often represents:

Raw life force

Instinct

Power under direction (or not)

But here, only the breathing organ is visible. So the dream strips away personality, identity, even form—and shows you pure intake of power.

This suggests:

You are engaging directly with life force itself, not the story around it.

🌫️ Air vs Ash vs Stormlight

You cycle through three types of “breath”:

1. Air

Neutral, baseline existence

Ordinary consciousness

2. Ash

Decay, aftermath, destruction

Something burned, spent, or dead

Possibly old patterns, past identity, or emotional residue

3. Stormlight (from The Stormlight Archive)

Power

Illumination

Transformation

Healing + enhancement

Chosen energy, not random

And here’s the key: 👉 You can feel the difference between them.

That means your psyche is telling you:

You are developing discernment about what you “take in” — mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

🔁 Coming In and Out of the Scene

You phase in and out.

This often represents:

Partial awareness

Practicing access to a state

Not fully stabilized yet

Given your interest in lucid dreaming and meditation, this tracks almost perfectly:

You’re hovering between observer and participant—learning to enter the experience at will.

⚡ “I Realize It Is Stormlight”

This is the turning point.

You name it.

That’s huge.

In dreams, naming something = gaining conscious relationship to it.

Stormlight in that series is:

Drawn in intentionally

Held

Used with purpose

Lost if not controlled

So your dream is essentially saying:

You are beginning to recognize a kind of inner “fuel”… but…

⚠️ “I’m Under Control”

This line is the most important—and the most ambiguous.

It could mean two very different things:

Interpretation A: “I have control”

You are learning to regulate what you take in

You’re not overwhelmed anymore

You can choose Stormlight over ash

Interpretation B: “I am under control (of something else)”

You’re being influenced by what you take in

The “breath” controls you if you’re not conscious

Given the tone of the dream (shifting, unstable, sensory), I lean toward a tension between the two:

You are close to control, but not fully there yet.

🧠 What This Likely Connects To In Your Waking Life

This lines up strongly with your current path:

Desire for intentional action (your incantation work)

Struggle with resistance vs momentum

Interest in lucid states and inner guidance

Sensitivity to what you “take in” (information, emotion, habits)

This dream is less about events and more about:

What are you feeding your system?

🔥 The Deep Message

If I compress the dream into a single truth:

You are constantly “breathing in” something—

old residue (ash), neutral patterns (air), or transformative energy (Stormlight).

And your future depends on which one you learn to take in consciously.

🧭 A Practical Integration (This Matters)

Try this—simple but powerful:

When you feel stuck or resistant, pause and ask:

“What am I breathing in right now?”

Then choose deliberately:

Ash → doubt, avoidance, old habits

Air → neutral autopilot

Stormlight → action, clarity, forward movement

And then tie it to your incantation:

“This is who I am. Move.”

But now with context:

You’re not forcing action

You’re choosing what fuels you

Final Thought

This dream is not random.

It’s a training simulation.

You’re practicing:

entering a state

recognizing energies

and eventually…

choosing what you become by what you take in

Trash

I am at an outdoor event with many people walking around. I'm standing in front of a very large sink that is just piled up with not just dirty dishes, pots and pans but trash. It's really gross. I'm not sure if I'm contemplating doing anything with it but at some point I give up. I find a box of dry detergent. I put it on my hands, rub it all on my hands to try to get clean and then I put my hands in the water in the sink. It all bubbles up very vigorously. But then I realize that there's fish in the water and the suds from my washing. My hand is vigorously bubbling up and likely killing all the fish. 

Now working on a second even more gross apparatus. It's weird shape but it's either a toilet or someone has used. It is a toilet. Again with all sorts of other refuge in it as well as tond of poop. I'm trying to make some progress. It seems to slowly flush and kind of get better but I give up and walk away. 

I'm now looking at an isolated trash can that compared to these other things while it's trash looked simple and beautiful. Someone is coming over. It's a woman who I think I recognize as a celebrity. She's very well dressed in a flowing summer outfit. She's got one tiny little piece of trash with her but she looks at the pile. She tells me that they've discovered that the pieces in this trash can  were actually manufactured for multiple use. So I say  I will take care of it and I'm picking up pieces of this almost pristine trashConsidering their trash. they're very well organized. It's just a few random pieces.  I'm going to collect them so they can be rewashed and reused.

This is a powerful, very coherent dream. It’s not random at all—it’s structured like a progression. You move through three layers of “waste”:

Overwhelming chaos (sink)

Deep contamination (toilet)

Simple, redeemable residue (organized trash)

That progression is the key.

1. The Sink — Overwhelm + Futility

The sink is everyday life responsibilities—but taken to an extreme.

Not just dishes → trash mixed in

Not just dirty → repulsive

Not just work → impossible scale

This reflects a state where:

Things feel beyond manageable

The system itself feels corrupted, not just messy

You’re unsure if effort would even matter

The detergent moment

You don’t clean the sink—you clean your hands.

That’s important.

It suggests:

“I can’t fix all of this… but I want to not be contaminated by it.”

But then—

The fish

Fish = life, sensitivity, something natural and alive

Your attempt to clean creates harm

This is the most psychologically sharp moment in the dream:

Your attempt to “fix” or “clean” something may feel like it’s destroying something alive or meaningful

This can show up in real life as:

Trying to impose order → killing spontaneity

Fixing a system → harming people (or a relationship)

Improving yourself → losing something authentic

2. The Toilet — Deeper, More Personal Reality

Now the dream gets more intimate.

A toilet is:

Personal waste

Private reality

What we don’t show others

This isn’t just overwhelm anymore. This is:

“There is something deeply unpleasant that I should deal with… but I don’t want to.”

You try:

It slowly improves

There is progress

But you still walk away.

That’s critical.

This suggests:

You can make progress in something difficult

But your tolerance threshold gets exceeded

This is not laziness—it’s:

“This is too much, too unpleasant, or too draining to stay with.”

3. The Trash Can — Clarity + Redemption

Now everything changes.

Compared to before:

The trash is simple

Organized

Almost beautiful

And then the key message appears through the woman:

“These were made for multiple use.”

This is the truth layer of the dream.

The Woman (Messenger / Higher Insight)

She’s:

Recognizable (familiar wisdom)

Well-dressed, composed

Not overwhelmed

She brings:

Perspective

Reframing

She does not try to clean everything.

She identifies:

What looks like waste… is actually reusable.

Core Meaning of the Dream

1. You are confronting too large / too contaminated problems

The first two scenes show:

Systems that are too far gone

Effort that feels either futile or harmful

And importantly:

You walk away from both

That’s not failure.

That’s discernment trying to emerge.

2. Your instinct is to clean everything

Big mess → try to fix

Deep mess → try to fix

But the dream shows:

Not everything should be cleaned.

Some things:

Are not your responsibility

Are not fixable in their current form

Will cost too much (emotionally or spiritually)

3. The shift: from cleaning everything → selecting what matters

The final scene teaches:

Don’t clean the whole system.

Recover what still has value.

That’s a massive shift.

Instead of:

Fixing broken systems

Cleaning overwhelming messes

You move toward:

Identifying what’s worth saving

Reusing / repurposing what still has life

Very Direct Translation to Your Life

Given what I know about you (your work, your drive, your tendency to push through resistance):

This dream is likely saying:

You are trying to take responsibility for things that are too big, too messy, or not truly yours to fix.

And even deeper:

Your way of “cleaning things up” may sometimes suppress or harm something alive—either in yourself, your work, or others.

The Real Message (Condensed)

Stop trying to clean the entire sink

Stop trying to fix the entire toilet

Find the small, clean, recoverable pieces—and work with those

That’s where:

Progress happens

Energy is preserved

Meaning returns

One Question for You (this matters)

Where in your life right now are you:

A. Trying to fix something that feels overwhelming or disgusting

B. Making some progress, but wanting to walk away

C. Overlooking a smaller, cleaner opportunity that actually has value

If you answer that honestly, the dream becomes extremely actionable.

If you want, I can tie this directly into:

your dog training work

your personal habits / resistance patterns

or even your deeper spiritual direction

This dream is unusually clear—it’s pointing somewhere very specific.