This serial incompetence beggars belief

Friday 12 29, 2017
9:38 am

This serial incompetence beggars belief

I am in a room with someone, possibly Cindy.  My clothes and things are all in a mess. I pull some out. 

I am in another room,possibly getting dressed for work. I am working in an environment where I need to meet a dress code. I do not have what I need and am unable to start work.

I am in a house. I do not own it. I am walking room to room. They are very small and I have set up a minimum of things to provide the basic comforts. I get hyper focused on the counter around a sink. I am trying to clean up some water that has spilled or is leaking. There is a problem with the effort.

Notes: These dreams interpret themselves. Hopefully I have reached bottom. I am considering physically approaching Cindy for intimacy. Need to start small. She has no interest, tricky. 

Unwanted Advance

December 25, 2017
9:00am

Unwanted Advance

I am riding in a vehicle. It is bright and sunny. There is a woman to my left, I know her, she may be the wife of a friend. He may be gone or dead. My marital status is unclear I lean in to kiss her. She is wearing a thin silk dress that is well above her knees. As I lean in I put my hand on her inner thigh. I am moving very slowly our lips are just touching. She looks me in the eyes and dismisses my advance.

She scolds me mildly and then mentions how she doesn't understand how I can afford to be their boss (she uses a strange word). It is understood we work on commission and are not currently getting any.

I am pissed and falsely indignant. I know she is right.

I am now eating in a public restaurant. The quarters are very tight and I am at a shared table. Some one is trying to sit next to me and is trying to get settled  by climbing over the seat. I briefly think it is ok because I know him. I think it is a friend I have eaten here with before, (possibly in a dream I had earlier). It is very uncomfortable how close we all are. 

I awake upset on several levels.

Notes: I am encouraged by how vivid and sensual the dream is and how well I recall it.  I am dismayed because of my current financial status  reminder in the dream and the fact that I can not have guilt free sex even while dreaming.

What does the dream want? For me to be financially productive and to have intimate relations with my wife.  Not encouraged by the Internet or by "cheating" in my dreams.

Real Sex

Tuesday December 16, 2017
1:00pm

Real Sex

I am in a house that is not mine. There is a young woman who is naked sitting in my lap. I am kissing and fondling her small breasts with protruding nipples. She says she is cold and I pull over a blanket to cover her and then work at getting my hand under the blanket to return to her flesh.

Notes: I woke very excited that my wish/incubation for sex in my dream was answered. I proposed that having happy ending sex in my dreams would free me from recent obsessions while awake.

Basketball

Thursday December 12, 2017
11:21am

Basketball

Basically the dreaded NDR  I am in a largely  abstract space planning for a test.  I then find myself on the space I have been making plans about. I am working on a team sport and I decide it iS basketball (I am trying to remember the dream by naming it.

Notes. This was an earlier dream. I woke up to an alarm and had no memory of the dream I was in. When I tried to remember "basketball" I could not remember any details  I t fells like dream logic that has dissolved many times when it sees the light of day.
Day 2 of 30 days of meditation and dream journaling.

Lollygagging

Wednesday
December 13, 2017
10:38am

Lollygagging

I am in a restaurant or other meeting place. I am talking with a woman, blonde, who has given me $2000. I am bragging about how I am basically doing nothing. She gets upset because she has fronted me $2000 for something and it appears I am just lollygagging  

There is a large table of people in front of me and the woman is at another table to the left. I start to pontificate that $2000 is actually a lot of money, especially in terms of how hard it is to get in the bank, saved. 

There is mild interest in the table next to me. I look and the woman I think I am talking to is not even at the table. I go over to the table and pick up a shipping bag of one of the women having lunch. She is older. I am trying to make a point with the bag about my story. She gets a bit flustered and starts asking specific question about the contents of her bag and did she get all the gifts she was promised. My story is irrelevant and being completely ignored. 

Notes: I will do 10 minutes of meditation for 30 days consecutively and write down my dreams for the same period. This is day one.

What does the dream want?: For me to get off my ass.

Gang Wars

Wednesday November 22, 2017
10:07am

Gang Wars

I am in a large open space with high ceilings like a garage or warehouse. There is a fight between to rival gangs going on. The gang I am with is outnumbered and disorganized. There is one gang member with me, but he is handicap and can not stand up. He is on the floor scooting around. A third member comes in. We have just won the battle. There are 20-30 rival gang members that we have captured. We somehow got the drop on them and are completely unable to control them. There are men women and children. When they realize our predicament they run away in all directions. We are unable to contain them.

I talk with the handicap member and ask if he know where our leaders are, has he spoken to them? I am not sure how to contact them or even exactly who they are.

Swimming Under Water

I am in a room with two other men. they may be part of the gang I was just dreaming about. We are discussing a third guy. He is tall skinny and naked. He is swimming from the room we are in into a larger room filled with water. It is a deep basement but there is plenty of light coming from windows in the high walls. He has a very long erect penis that is clearly visible as part of his silhouette. He is doing something unanticipated that I am discussing with the two other men.

Using the Faucet

I am in another part of the building. I am talking with a woman who runs the place. I am trying to use the sink but can not figure out how the faucet works. They have been "fixed" or modified several times and I can no longer figure our exactly where or how to turn them on. She assures me they are now functional but I tell her (or think to myself) I can't figure out what the person who "fixed" it was thinking.

Notes: This series of dreams was very vivid. I remembers a lot of the detail even though I moved after waking. 

What does the dream want? The chaos and disorganization in the dream mirrors the some conditions in my waking life. I need to get moored and disciplined.

The Tower

Monday November 13, 2017
9:40am

The Tower

I am standing in an enclosed platform a top a large metal tower. It is an observation tower. I am will someone, we are in the military. I am trying to focus on a very distant target. My view gets closer and closer, but it take a long time to distinguish that there are two targets. It is a man an a woman. I feel it is note worthy and inform someone. I am not trying to shoot them but the need to deal with them independently is important.

I have a request from an officer at the bottom to see if there are any good songs to be found. I start climbing down the tower looking very carefully at each support. I see something in a small plastic bag. It is not a song, it seems to me it is something better.There are two small item. One is possibly two names and the other is a description of their lives or the relationship. It is brief and bold like a poem. I think this could be used as the basis for a song.

Naked on the Train

I am riding on a train next to Cindy. I am casually not wearing any clothes. She moves a seat or two away from me.

Notes: Two dreams and a segment. Not bad. In the tower I am searching for something that U think is one thing, but it is two. The two segments of the dream both seem to be about the desire for relationship. Not surprising.

Manipulating Memory Modules

Sunday November 12, 2017
11:00am

Memory Modules

[Woke at 8:30am, went immediately back to sleep] I am trying to go back into the dream state. I am seeing icons [play] on a blank abstract field. When I select the icon my mind goes blank. I am trying to understand how they work. I come to the realization that I have figured out a way to store blank memories, like an empty audio recording that plays but has no sound. I am confused but immediately find the utility in this capacity. It is like plug and play meditation. Push the button, think nothing...my mind goes pleasantly blank and then a burst of vivid images in wild colors burst into my field of vision. It may be an animation. I do not get caught up in the details but am impressed how playing the blank memory resulted in almost direct entry into the dream state.  I woke, it had been almost two hours.

Note: Very interesting idea. This is one of a series of dreams that are completely abstract. They do not take place in a location, possibly even free of time/space. I believe they are sometimes 3D, but sometimes it is only the idea that is present in the dream.

I should try manipulating dreams/memories with other control icons.

Not Prepared for the Exam

Saturday November 11, 2017
8:50am

Not Prepared for the Exam

I am talking with another person, it may be my teacher. We are discussing an upcoming exam  I am going to be taking. I do not feel prepared for it. My teacher hands me a pack of paper. It is review material. He says that if I concentrate on one formula it  is used several times as examples. As long as I understand the formula I should do fairly well on the test.

I am now taking the exam, and I still haven't studied.

Notes: This may be the most obvious dream I've ever had. Trying to study for the adjuster's exam. I have not been studying recently. Wow.

Burying Money in a Pit

Friday November 10th 2017
3:50am

Burying Money in the pit

I'm in the cave or an underground large room. There's a party atmosphere. There's food laughter and activity lots of men women and kids. There's an important job to do and I'm right in the middle of it. We are burying money in a large pit. There's a long rope that is involved and it is a challenge to get it correct. I am working with other people to keep the rope from getting caught in the hole. It is taking some time to figure it out. I finally get it figured out and then complete the task.

It feels good to be doing things correctly. I'm going to a table with an elder and he starts showing me a couple of bills that are different than the others. Instead of traditional money it's like Confederate money but it's based on fire engines. Some sort of alternative older money. It's like finding a $2 bill in a stack of money and saving it. I save it out instead of burying it because it's special. There was someone else who also has one of the special bills he recognizes after overhearing the discussion. But he's not invited into the discussion with the elder. So that even though he has one he's really not part of the celebration of the process.

There are young people over in another part of the cave looking on. One of them is trying to go to the bathroom and asks if for help from one of the women. Is not certain he's doing it correctly and it's embarrassing . Where you go to the bathroom is right in the middle of the room. But you can lower yourself into something that is like another pit so the only thing that's visible is your shoulders. He asked if this is the only way to do it. A young girl tells him he can go outside at night in the dark but you might step in something unpleasant.

Notes: I am very happy when I wake. First I remembered a complex dream. Also, it's a gift to wake up in the middle of the night. I plan on going back to sleep trying to induce lucid dream I will again attempt wild method directly back to sleep. More property directly back to Dreaming. I've been successful and going back and forth into the dream state and I'm waking up in the morning. I have difficulty remembering the dreams let alone being lucid.

I went to the tattoo shop today started the planning process for my tattoo and I will get after 30 consecutive days of meditation. This is again I've started over this is day 2 30 days.

Firehouse Parade

Saturday November 4, 2017
11:10am

Firehouse Parade

I am sitting outside with friends at a cafe. We are having deep ongoing conversations. We get up to leave and something draws me back. I enter the building that we were sitting in front of. I am slowly making my way back in a long narrow room/storage area/hall. I see some fascinating  paraphernalia. It is metal and painted in elaborate detail, fire engine red. there are fanciful custom made parts. I think this is amazing and I would like to keep it for myself. As  I continue exploring there is a whole series of similar devices that all obviously come from the same creative source. There are stored one after the other. I realize they are variations on fire fighting equipment. Old fashion, hyper detailed but scaled down. Not big enough for actual use. I meet with someone and he explains they are for parades.

I think to myself, who would have the resources to spend so much time and effort on something only used in parades? I think maybe there was a time when the firemen were so popular that this special collection was used to celebrate multiple firehouses.

[I go in and out of the dream for some time] I am wondering how successful these parades are, possibly at fund raising. I see an answer that is very positive. I am looking at two or three very discreet rectangular shaped areas. They are similar to the view looking out the bombing hatch of a moving plane. The windows of activity are very dynamic. vividly colored and moving to the wind and may be moving through space. They are complexly disconnected almost abstract. Something is happening, it may be sand raining on/through them. Somehow I know that this is a demonstration of their success.  I wake very happy.

Notes: I am happy both because the dream was positive and because it was so vivid and I had multiple opportunities to realize I was in a dream. I am starting the 10 day course over. I will read the lesson each morning, not in the evening, because there are suggestion on what to do during the day.

Day 1: Ten Steps to Lucid Dreams

Day 1  Ten Steps to Lucid Dreams

The most important thing you must do is keep a dream journal.

This simple practice helps you in several ways:

● It lays down a long term memory of your dreams as soon as you awaken.

● It encourages the mental habit to automatically remember your dreams.

● It highlights repeating themes - and dream signs that can trigger lucidity.

● It entrains the mindset that your dreams are important to you.

● It helps improve your self-awareness in future dreams.


All of these directly develop your ability to lucid dream.

So, make it a habit to write down your dreams as soon as you wake up. Here's how:

First, grab yourself a dream journal.

This can be any old notebook you have hanging around. Or, if you really can't find anything, you can buy nice custom ones quite cheaply on Amazon.

But you can achieve the same effect with a simple pen and paper (without denting your wallet).

Lucid dreaming doesn't need to be expensive. :-)

Don't worry if you couldn't find anything and had to order a pad in. Just grab a wad of paper from somewhere – to keep you going for the next few days. We need to get this program moving!

Remember – I'm all about results guys.

Grab your journal and write down these tips in your own words – in the front cover of your dream journal - right now!

Dream Recall Tips

Firstly, make a promise to give yourself 5-10 minutes silent peace each morning when you wake up – to focus your attention on your dreams. During this time you are barred from looking at your mobile phone!

Your mind will do what you train it to do. If you always jump out of bed and straight onto Facebook, it's no wonder you don’t remember your dreams!

Waking is a special time of day.

Give yourself a chance to slowly transition from the dream world to the waking world – and remember the dreams you have just experienced.

Secondly, you must set intent each night. For the next ten days, every night before you go to bed, I want you to look at your pillow and say three times out loud: "I will remember my dreams". Say it with intent, like you mean it!

Using this technique you are subconsciously programing yourself! It works, you'll see.


Lastly, when writing in your dream journal, use these general practices:

● Record a title and date of your dream to help you identify it later. Write a capital "L" for lucid in a circle if you became lucid at any point.

● Record your most vivid dreams in as much detail as you can. Include emotions you felt. Once a dream is cemented in reality, you have a more permanent memory (like a real event).

● Write in the present tense (e.g., "I am flying high when the sky opens up and transports me to another dimension") as this will help put you back in the moment.

● Underline dream signs. These are any impossible details of the dream, which might have helped you become lucid (e.g., "I ran head first into oncoming traffic").

● Sketch the most important scene from your dream. You don't have to be an artist - these images just help underpin your visual recall.

Summary

Today's lesson was pretty simple:

● Start writing down your dreams!
● Set intention before you go to bed ("I will remember my dreams")
● Give yourself 5 minutes peace to reflect when you first wake up, before using your phone.


Don't worry if you don't see results the very first day. Keep it up!

Chris Hammond
Chief Lucidity Officer - World of Lucid Dreaming

Finding the Secret of Sleep

Wednesday October 25, 2017

1:04pm

Finding the Secret of Sleep

I am trying to fall back asleep. I see a physical complex pattern, possibly two of them, that are the pathway to my goal. It takes me a while to realize the patterns I am seeing are for me. I drift in and out of sleep. When I awake I am hopeful.

Notes: On the surface these seems like another dream logic only challenge, but feel that a pattern is possible. I just need to recognize it.

Humans Are the World's Best Pattern-Recognition Machines

Hide and Seek

Monday October 8th 6 a.m.

Order processing

I am working on an order. Possibly on the computer but really just purely in my mind. There are two types of orders I'm working on. And both are very organized. Processing is going well. There is one other thing I need to do. Make sure everything is in order. When I wake up I did not have the blankets on and that has been incorporated into the dream. It is an undone item. In the dream the last task has to do with photographs, reviewing and then deleting them do I can start new projects.

Notes:

There was no stress of an endless unachievable fast. Clear the decks and on to the next thing!

I am doing an incubation for a lucid dream. I'm on my 4th day of meditation in a row.

Incubation: I want to interact with fully conscious dream characters
WBTB at 6:30 a.m.

10:30 a.m.

Hide and Seek

I am in a very small bedroom. I'm with Steve. He tells me to hide in the room and he will come back and try to find me. I'm looking around the room, it is tiny there is no place to hide that I would not be immediately discovered. I tell him that talking to him into another room. Just go ahead and try, he says.

Tree bark

I am examining in detail in my hand piece of tree bark. I can see it Likens and the 3D very Vivid detail

Notes:

I am still moving when I first wake up. I was able to remember the last dream by being very still. Need to discipline myself to not move at all as I'm awaking.

No luck being a lucid, however, I am going immediately back into detailed dream imagery from consciousness.

Keep on the same dream incubation for a week. When I originally wrote about using incubation, I used the word “entrainment” by mistake. Maybe I should try entrainment with WBTB. No maybe to it.

Brainwave entrainment, the practice of entraining one's brainwaves to a desired frequency.

checking this out....http://blisscodedsound.com/

Trianglulation

6:07am

Triangulation (Big Dream)

I am working with someone to accomplish a specific task. We are driving around a large city, likely LA, and choosing locations for our project. We need to find or build three towers that have a specific geometric and geographic relationship with one another.

We have two sites chosen and are traveling by car to the third. There is traffic congestion that will make traveling to the third very difficult. I get an inspired idea to intuitively choose the site for the third. We normally were just given instructions after someone else had done the complex calculations, but I could see that a very close and convenient location would suffice perfectly. The calculations proved the choice to be correct.

There will be some kind of a transmission device on each tower. It will provide something vital to the triangulated area. As I am going in and out of the dream, I have several instances of the exact nature of there devices coming in and out of focus or morphing form.

Notes: As I was journaling the dream, I realized what this may be about. The big idea for development in Chatham County. WiFi...cheap for the new developments or free (sliding scale) for those in broadcast distance.

Side note 1: I want to climb the tower on rope and harness. Teach kids to do it. Work with Charlie. Build a small platform only accessible by rope and harness.


Side note 2: I want to have Steve channel Salli.

Dream Boosts

9;23 pm  (S: Galatamine, 2x 4mg, Choline 1x 500 mg

The Country Store

Scene 1. Coming in the front door, moving through a big space  into the back room.

Scene 2. Look out the narrow vertical windows to see the people wandering around.

Scene 3. Going outside. Looking far away.

Scene 4. Coming back inside, going into the front room and having a long conversation with a woman.

Crazy Town

In and out 2-3 times. I am walking through a crowded series of hallways, corridors and public spaces. People stare at me and then approach me. As they get close and starting talking to me they distort into scary creature intent on getting me or trapping me in some way. I become very adept at anticipating their moves and avoid any truly negative situations.

Notes: I had difficulty getting back to sleep. I could not remember the exact phrasing of the Sparrow words asking for more lucid dreams.

Sparrow Project Last Baseline Dream

6:20 AM

Me and My Truck, Together Forever
(A non-linear Dream )

I am in and out of this dream several times. I am meditating on the essence of pickup truck. We are one. We are part of a larger group. The essence is pickup truck. I can feel the true essence of pickup truck and at the same time this essence makes me part of a larger group. It is not a group of individuals it is just a sense of a larger community or mind. I can sense an image or object, but it is not conventionally visual. It is bright, vivid and possibly yellow/orange. As I become one with pickup truck I become one with a larger expanded experience. It feels warm and inviting. There is nothing to be or do, there is only being one with all that is pickup truck.

Notes: When I awoke I was very excited and happy. I have been feeling under pressure to complete my last baseline dream. I thought of writing down anything, so I could just be done. As I was drifting in and out of the dream I felt this relief that I had a dream so short, clear and concise. It was only when I tried to journal it that I became aware how difficult is was to describe.

I have a new job that requires me to get a nice pickup truck.It is being purchased at auction and I will hear today if we won the auction. The income potential of this new job will make many things possible. I have never had a truck before and have slowly been accepting and experiencing its powerful spiritual essence. Last evening I also participated in a meditation workshop.

To do: Fully expand this idea as part of my cross cultural journey.

Sparrow Project Exp Night 6 (last Exp Night)

8:35 AM

Crossing Racial Lines

I am with group of people at a party on a patio. A a woman I'm interested in is sitting in front of me in what appears to be a large chair with a tall back and sweeping armrests. As I approach her she seems to be almost surrounded by something, like a blanket or dark upholstery. I ask and she agrees to dance. I realize she has been sitting in the lap of very very large black man. I think to myself that he was so large and dark it was like he was invisible. I immediately apologize. I think there's no way I can tell him I didn’t see him because he was so dark and large. Instead I make a comment or even possibly ask how tall he is. He is obviously taken back. I then ask him if it's OK if I dance with the woman, because they're obviously friends, at least, he says it's perfectly fine and we go off to dance.

As I am with her we start discussing my interactions with her friend. I have obviously offended him. We are in the same scene but our positions have changed. He has moved across an open space and climbed inside a small open shed. He is now completely invisible but we are talking.

I try to apologize for the way we met. I explicitly apologize for my comment about his height. There is another topic we need to talk about that I'm also embarrassed about. It is very specific. It may be someone's name. It is even more reluctant to talk about this. But as the conversation continues he slowly engages with me and emerges from the shadows. He stands up, comes out into the light and we begin a full conversation.

I awake.

Notes. As I awaken I review the dream and name it. I feel that his coming out of the shed was like a bear coming out of its den. I am able to go back into the dream or the dream state a couple of more times. I forget the detail the dreams.The theme of bridging cultural divides comes directly from my waking life. I am actively trying to cross racial lines and understand the differences between by coming up with ways to communicate less awkwardly.

Sparrow Project Exp Night 5

9:13am

The EMT (Snippet only)

I am being shown a visual presentation of the difference between two types of EMT. One has an injury in their heal the other does not. There is a test that involves putting a metal band round them and tightening it until fat comes out. The presentation is disembodied from dream characters or detailed physical objects.

The scene changes am I am an EMT instead of reviewing information about them, but I do not remember any additional details.

Notes: In away I am an injured EMT in "real life".  I am learning to use rope and harness like an emergency responder and I have a sore heel. Unfortunately I have may concerns about the work and the thoughts of the day rushes in and kept me from fully remembering the dream.

Sparrow Project Exp Night 4

7:07 AM

Weird Bed in the Attic

I am in the top floor of an old house. I am in bed. There is someone else sleeping with me in a separate bed. He is a  young man. I notice something very strange about my bed. I am crawling past the the foot and it's very long. As I traverse the curvy extra long and down curving top of the mattress I'm going into a narrow corner of the room. The room is warped and strange. Windows are like portholes. And I think this is very strange. But I can't figure it out.

The Anxious Shopping Trip

I am in the car with three other people. One of them is in my wife. We were traveling for sometime and I realize we are driving far away from the city. I've become anxious because I know I have some appointments and I'm afraid we're getting too far away and I will miss my appointments. We pull into a small town that very beautifully restored. Small unique shops in old houses, quaint restaurants, etc. It's sunny and very nice out. We get out of the car and I begin to be seriously concerned about my appointments. I check out my phone and try and check my calendar. The phone is not working properly. I see that the battery is not connected and I try to insert it. But the internals of the phone are all messed up I can see all these electronic parts they move around inside while I'm trying to insert the battery. I'm beginning to panic because I have to check my calendar and I can't get my phone to work. When I look around and I can't find my briefcase. I have two or three other possessions and they seem to all be all spread around the small park I'm in. I'm worried that I'm losing my mind. Now I look for help and I find a woman that I'm working for. She's my boss. I ask her how to put the battery back in the phone. I hand her the phone and she very easily puts the battery in and gets the phone working. I am now concerned that my calendar is not synchronized with my wife's and that's why she has brought me so far away from where my appointments are. I am getting seriously anxious and I can't figure out why everything is so out of control.

The Odd Sales Call

I am calling someone on the phone. Is someone I have not spoken to in a long time. Possibly someone I may know from high school or something like that. But it feels like I'm trying to make a sales call. I ask him a series of questions about his business. He owns  some kind of warehouse. And I ask him a question about what's in the warehouse. He answers me but it's a complex weird answer and I don't understand. I thank him for his time and then ask him a strange question. I tell him I don't know why I'm calling and I ask him is there anything that he needs. I may say do you need my help. He says yes. His younger of two sons has just died. It only happened two days ago. It was accidental and his older son is having a very difficult time. I am immediately emotionally involved. I am highly empathetic and it feels like I have lost a son. I am very sympathetic and tell him how sorry I am. I don't have any particular advice or try to do anything. I am crying on the phone.

I wake up.

Notes: Before I wake I review my three dreams. I don't want to forget them. I'm sure I have only been asleep for a brief time. I estimate it has been about an hour and then I open my eyes and look at the clock. As I open my eyes I look out the window there is a beautiful sunrise but outside my window. I know immediately it's not 630 in the morning it's way after seven. I have been asleep much longer than I thought. Actually it may have only been a little bit over an hour. I went back to sleep about 530 but it took a while to get to sleep. So I definitely awoke disoriented.

The anxiousness in my dreams is very encouraging because I'm trying to wake up in my dream or I am trying to figure out why the environment that I'm in is so strange. So when I woke up my mood was anxious and afraid because I thought I was going insane. But I was very happy immediately after realizing I had been dreaming so vividly. All of the dreams were very bright very and very realistic and detailed.

I'm going back to sleep at 7:30. I'm going to give myself a new instructions to actually be lucid. The instructions that I followed worked very well but were no specific enough.  I was more aware and more responsive, but not lucid.  I've had this experience before when the incubation I gave was taken very literally and did not produce the desired result. Like my unconscious is working with me but taking every opportunity to do what I said not what I wanted. (For example: I incubated the idea to wake up in my dream and I had a false awakening)

Sparrow Project Exp Night 3

8:30 AM

The Dig (S: possibly 2 galantamine)

I am with a large group of people. It's a casual party like atmosphere. We are outdoors. We are discussing the details of an anthropological dig it is on going. We are trying to prove a theory that we are uncovering the scene of a large battle. The theory is being put together with a combination of what we already know and what we are finding. I am not a principal in the dig. I am a newbie but very interested in the process.

There is an authority figure possibly a school principal. He’s a large older gentleman who is very overbearing. He's very opinionated about his interpretation of what's going on. The dig leader explains the evidence we have and how it supports our theory. He dismisses it out of hand, states emphatically that it’s ridiculous and somewhere between walks and storms back into his office.

I now have a conversation with the lead digger. I start to understand pieces of the puzzle. I espouse the theory and I am actually angry with the principal and declare that he's totally ignorant. The lead digger explains to me that my theory is not correct either and that there is a new group of people that we are getting evidence of. Something about the nature of that group that makes it likely that there was a battle. This new group that we are just getting a tiny bit of evidence about were very warlike, very sophisticated and had sophisticated large war weapons. I exclaim, wouldn't it be nice to dig up pieces of that war equipment. He agrees with me wholeheartedly.

I am in the same scene but I am now spending time with other members of the dig.They are dressed in a bulky period garb similar to Vikings. They have multiple complex layers and may have headgear as well. I am talking with a large man who's asking for help with getting part of his gear off. Initially I don't understand enough about the gear to help him. Now I am next to a woman who is also in this elaborate clothing. She's beginning to lie down, possibly in a hammock,I may also be helping her.

The scene changes and I am watching the lead anthropologist discussing the dig with a beautiful young woman. He looks differently than he did in the earlier scene. He is less sophisticated possibly wearing a stereotypical kaki African explorer outfit, shorts, big boots, etc. He is having a detailed discussion about the theory and practice of the dig. She is very interested and wants to help. He explains to her that she will be able to help. There is something very special that she can do. The lecherous look on his face implies is that her part involves sexual intimacy and that it is somehow directly physically connect to uncovering the mysteries. I awake.

Notes: There was another very elaborate dream that I had just before this one. I could not remember it. Initially when I woke up I could not remember this dream either. Then I got a thread into it and was able to remember a lot of the detail. It was not particularly vivid. I did have full on conversations with the characters but I was not even partially lucid. It will be interesting to know whether on this particular night I had a dream supplement or not. It's only been two days so the effect may have been diminished.

What is the dream telling me?

In my waking life I'm trying to learn something new about roofing. Which I'm finding intimidating and very scary because of getting on the roofs. It's a fear of heights and fear of falling. In this dream, possibly not ironically, it's about going under the ground. How much more safe can you be then being an a hole versus being being on a roof?

What am I going to do about it?

I have a course set for myself that is at the very maximum of my capabilities. In fact my current capabilities are not up to the job. I need to be more skilled and less afraid on the roof. I need to be more fit, stronger and have better balance. The things more directly in my control I'm OK with, like knowledge and sales detail. So the jury is out on whether this is going to work or not.

Recently I have on several occasions awoken in fear thinking about getting on roofs. I decided to take a more logical approach and did some research online. I felt better about the prospects of properly using safety equipment. As I stepped out of doors there was a hawk flying above uttering a series of three cries. In the past I've been confusing hawk calls with other birds. It was nice to get the clear visual confirmation that this was a hawk. I also took it as a very positive omen. What better spirit animal than on that is owns the sky.

Sparrow Project Gap Day

6:39am

I can't remember the name

I am in a restaurant with a woman. There are two restaurants right next to each other. We are eating outside. Sitting in a small table we need something when we decide to call. We call a restaurant supply. I'm trying to tell them what I need. I can't remember the name of what I need I can't remember the name of the restaurant I am in. I didn't recall that I used to work in the restaurant. I'm very frustrated that I can cannot remember the name. I then remembered that the restaurant but I'm sitting in as a different one than the one I used to work in. The one I used to work at is the one immediately next-door. It's like a Paris Café the chairs and one almost touch the chairs in the other. There are now three other people at the table. Another couple. I tell my partner that I am worried that she needs to pay attention to me if I start acting strange to take me to the hospital.

The fishing trip

I am walking home and outside my apartment and I can see one story up to my balcony. There are two or three young kids on my balcony assorted yell at them. And very easily climb up the front find myself on the balcony. They don't seem to be strangers to the apartment. Tonight they tell me that I have some sort of an important email. They tell me it is a traffic ticket. I want to ask him what have you already opened it.

I am now beside a river in a beautiful state fishing spot. There are many other people there. A number of people that I know and I am apparently with. I don't know them well. I have a fishing rod with a very large artificial neuron it. It's a plastic it's in it's an odd shape for a Lure. The person I'm with, A guy says he would like to make a cast. It's like a combination fly fishing regular fishing. It has all its line wound up externally but it's very thick so we take it gently off the end of the port sort of clipped on. We toss the Lord into the water I see you at sink. I kneel down next to the bank in pier into the water. There are many huge fish all sorts of fish. Unusual weird fish. I grab the line gently and start manipulating I can feel nibbles on the line.

There are now many people playing in the water and they're coming from both sides and starting to scare the fish. I start to show it to them please move away from where we were fishing. I'm having to yell to be heard. They respond and start moving away. See the fish are still there. I then decided to make a cast. The polls been put away so we need to redeployed. Either me or the guy I'm with grab the line and throw it. But it's my cast. It lands on a boat a very large boat. The people are just enjoying themselves on. The hook lands in the lap of a beautiful young woman. The book is huge and therefore not particularly dangerous if you don't pull on it I talked to her and gently remove the hook from her lap without incident. It now occurs to me that while I was yelling at the people to get away from the fishing area it might have been the people in both sides that created the situation to begin with. By having lots of people in the water coming from both sides the fish were trapped in the middle. And then get the idea to illicit their help I wake up.

Notes: I am aware when I wake up it was just in a dream. The first when I reviewed at least three times. And then try not to move remove very little. Go back to sleep. That's when I enter the second dream. I come out and try to go back to a third dream again reminding myself of the phrase to be more aware of my dreams but I can't remember the second part.I'm not able to go fully back into the dream state but I'm pulled into two images. And I struggle with relaxing into the drain but still staying I'm not able to go fully back into the dream state but I'm pulled into two images. And I struggle with relaxing into the drain but still staying away aware. I thought it was later than it was I still have almost an hour to dream and then try to go back to sleep again.

Sparrow Project Exp Night 2

8:45 AM

The Prostitute

I'm in a room with two other characters. Everything is bright red their clothes maybe even their bodies. One of them is a prostitute. The other is the john, it may be a woman. I may be an arresting officer.

I'm talking to the prostitute about the trouble that she is in. I leave the room briefly and come back. The prostitute is sitting on the face of the other person. They're obviously very physically intimate. It occurs to me that the prostitute is being very clever because now that they have been so close the evidence has been destroyed. They are now both very similar.

The Cake Thief

I am entering a very large commercial building possibly a hotel. As I look outside these very large windows I see the structure of the building go by. I momentarily reflect about whether I am moving. I decided I'm not moving. I dismiss  the oddity of being able to see the inside structure of the building streaming in front of me. (When I'm awake I realize this view would normally only be seen from inside a glass elevator)

It's a very wide hallway. There is a series of four or five upright pianos. They are beautiful pianos. They are light brown burled wood covered in shellac. I can see the detailed beauty of the woodwork very clearly. I go to open the cover on the keys. Instead of being a piano they are now large containers with  pieces of cake. I am with my friend Steven Lindenbaum. He comments on the names of the pieces of cake. It is a weird name that I accept as normal. They are obviously intended for the guests at a party being catered in the hotel. But they look like leftovers and most of them have been partially eaten. There's three or four pieces, sometimes half pieces laying in the containers. We decided to have some.  I eat one he's eating another piece. Then we are caught. One of the hotel staff comes out. He is very large. He may be wearing a traditional chef's outfit in white. He tells us we shouldn't be doing this. Steve has run away to the large bank of elevators on the left. I look into them to try to see if he is in one of them. I can see to the through glass elevator doors into the elevators. (When I awake I realize that you can't see into elevator doors)

I turn to the right and see an open door leading to the stairwell. Instead of running I turn and explain to the hotel staff guy that it wasn't really that bad what we did. It was obviously the end of a party. I glance to the right and I see through some glass doors a large party on going not sure if it's the same one. I dash into the stairwell and as I enter in the stairwell I see bits of cake strewn all along the sides. Obviously other people of done the exact same thing that I did.

Note. When I wake I realize that the pastries may have been fine before people started to pick at them.

Surgical Precision

Only a snippet. I'm looking very closely at an operation. I see the insides of someone and maybe hands with the scalpel. I hear the words surgical precision.

My alarm goes off

The Garden Party, Exp Night 1 Sparrow Project

10:49am

The Garden Party {S: Assumed Galantamine, 2 capsules; part of a blind study]

I have just come from a very explicit casual sexual encounter with a beautiful woman. I am dimly concerned that I may not be able to report all the details of the encounter. It is a bright day and all the colors are very vivid. I am walking across a lawn that comes to a break in a low stone wall that has about three steps down to a lower part of the lawn. There are people strolling, sitting in chairs and laying on the grass. I settle down between two groups, I am very close, almost touching them. There are two women on my left and man and a woman on my right, she is within my reach. I reach out, touch her gently and invite her to get physically intimate. I realize that the man is her husband and I ask, nonverbally, if she wants him to join in, possibly giving her oral attention between her legs. She has an immediate definitive and dismissive negative reaction. She proceeds to climb on top of me. She is wearing a thin yellow summer dress and I can feel every part of her body as we  have contact on all parts of our bodies. We are intimately deep kissing while I am aware of her nipples pressing on my chest and her vulva rubbing against my knee. I am fully sensually engulfed by her. I am particularly aware of the wet warm delicious sensation of our kissing. We are still just inches from the others around us, but this seems to be of no consequence. We are under a low table and she is bumping her head against the strut holding the table top. We decide to find a better place to continue our intimacy.

We are walking as it begins to rain. I can feel the drops on my face and the beginnings of my hair becoming wet. I look for shelter and see a nearby store front. I imagine taking her into the restroom and taking her with our bare bottoms on the cold tile floor. We peer into the shop's windows and it appears to be a restaurant, we enter. It is slightly disheveled but happily not over crowded There are several empty tables. There are many tables and chairs stacked to one side. I have picked out a table for two that has one good chair, but I am having difficulty finding a second one that is stable. I pick up one that has short rear legs. It has possibly been modified to sit in the sand. I look at a second that is also defective and sandy on the chair back. I do not get frustrated but exhibit very gentlemanly manners and explain I will choose another, wipe it off, and if that is insufficient, I will choose another.

We are about to sit when we see a waitress with a very large tray of food. It holds hot pieces of steak resting on leaves of lettuce. They are plates on the tray as well. It is similar to the way orderves are circulated at a party, but this is a main dish. My partner is very interested and begins to choose two pieces for us. There is another woman to my right that is also interested and there is the potential for conflict. My attention is drawn to three women to my left.

They are standing shoulder to shoulder two or three steps up from me. They have elaborate summer attire, including hats. The fashion is reminiscent of the 1950s. The one in the middle is very thin, sexy, wearing a low cut dress with frills. She is looking directly at me and is raising her voice. She has apparently been calling my name several times and is now nearly shouting. She calls out my first, middle and last name very definitively. I can hear her words very clearly.  It occurs to me that this is not my name, but she is so undoubting I engage in conversation. I step up to her, put my hand on her waist and whisper in her ear, "have we fucked?" Her body suddenly jerks spasmodically. It moves my lips from her ear and I am not sure she has heard me. This happens a second time and I lean slightly away from her to see what is going on. There is a man with a gnarly grinning face behind her who has apparently been squeezing her almost painfully from behind. He pushes his face around her so his head is touching hers and it just to my right. I promptly punch him in the face and prepare to continue the conversation.

I am woken up.

Notes: Shit! Bad timing on the interruption. Tried to get back into the dream but was unable. I did have a few, some detailed, images and snippets. I am definitely not taking a placebo in this experiment. Wow. The sex was full on. Better than I remember the real thing on most occasions.

Needs analysis:

Sparrow Research Project Gap Day

7:20am

Resnet (Skipped day of dream study protocol)

I am a homeless man with a woman next to me out in front of the 7-Eleven. There's a group of people next to us. We are under an overhang. We have several positions around us we are sort of filthy in and out and missed it feels like a nest. There are several men that are next to us. Dirt two of them that are in an argument.

One of them is particularly violent and aggressive. At one point he takes out a gun. Is a handgun. What is oddly shaped. He starts yelling at the other man and then points the gun at him and shoot him. It is very loud. I can feel the impact of the firing. I am very frightened. The shooter is very casual about the event. He puts the gun in a bag that has other guns in it. I see at least two or three others they all have odd shapes. Some have long barrel some have bulbs handles. And almost hear the clicking together the metal on metal in the bag. It's like a cheap plastic bag shopping bag.

I am very afraid I do not want to be perceived as a threat to this man. We go inside and I ask him if he wants a soda to drink. That I will pay for it. He suddenly gets very chummy with me possibly putting his hand around my shoulder. Says yes he will take a soda and thanked me very much.

We are still with this man but we are now in a different location. It is a place were stolen cars are handled. Somehow the name resident is very clearly spoken. We have some sort of conversation. I wake up.

Notes: I wake up very fearful from my experience in the dream but very excited that my recall is so detailed. I had review the Dream several times. I may have the rename Rezneck slightly wrong.

I went to bed at 1 o'clock. Set the alarm for four hours. Woke up two minutes before the alarm was going to go off. Was up for a couple of minutes went back to sleep. Woke up

What does this dream want.? Appears that someone in the dream is a potential threat to me. They are doing something casually that is very dangerous (Roofers?). It is an obvious parallel to the roofing business that I've engaging myself in. The idea of walking on roofs is very scary. I am afraid of this new job that I am attempting to do. Part of me definitely thinks it's a very stupid idea. Part of me thinks is is a way to get on firm footing in my life by being on sketchy footing for brief periods of time.

What am I going to do about it? I'm not sure. I'm still telling myself that this is a good idea. It's all about money. More than money it's about stretching what is possible.

Base Dream for Sparrow Research Project

9:15am

Base Dream for Sparrow Research Project

The dream is very vivid and colorful. I am walking around a large campus  on an outside walkway. I come to a large building with a very high curved roofline. Similar to a quonset hut, but larger and modern. I am walking with someone else and enter the building knowing there will be many facets or different things happening in the same building. The first section I enter is a large cafeteria. I start to make my way through the selections.

Meanwhile: I am on a ship that is headed toward the location where the dream started. There is a sense of urgency and danger. We are on some sort of rescue mission. The mission is directly tied to the people where the dream started. While there is danger and mystery in the air, the characters on the ship look like they are in a stop action animation movie. The colors are very vivid, I see a series of balls in bright primary colors. They may be just floating in the air. The captain is a caricature of Sylvester Stallone.  As we approach our destination we enter a bay that rapidly becomes thick with fog. The captain has a plan and prepares to release a flying spy. It turns out to be a very large funky looking bird with small wings, easily 10 feet tall and with the aerodynamics of a blimp. It is also very cartoon like. It has a weapon or spyglass on its face. It is in a tight cage that keeps it in middeck ready for deployment. As the captain begins to deploy the bird it asks him what it is supposed to do. The captain is very frustrated and thinks, "I only want to send this thing out, not figure out how it works." I take the device off of the bird in a fashion that displays that I have knowledge about what is going on. I move in near by and adjust the scope/barrel and have it face the bird. I am about to explain what is going on...I wake.

Notes: This is the first and "baseline" dream in a study being done by Dr. Scott Sparrow

On the way to the Brothel

10:100am

On the Way to the Brothel

I am in a wagon, there is a woman in the front with the horse rains guiding us. It is an old wagon with wide sides that flare out. Her house is just off the dirat road on the right. We have come for some sort of paid service. She is our guide.

I make a comment that you have to be careful about who you talk to or you may be harshly judged if you use the wrong words. Our guide says this is not true and take some offence. I repeat that I have heard this several times from others. I am now uncertain of the truth.

The woman who is another paying customer is on horseback. She is middled aged and very attractive. We travel down the road a bit and some to a house on the left that may sell old collectibles. We comment on it but move on.

I find myself in a large complex structure. It is put together with components of old barns and houses There is weather red paint on one of the walls. It is very unconventional. There is a very tall open room that has walls that extend at least two stories. You can see inside from all sides. It is surrounded by open spaces in the walls, staircases and pieces that swing like a door but are largely open spaces like windows.

I am involved in some convoluted task that I can not remember. I have an extended conversation with a old man who I believe owns and runs this place. He goes into another section of the house/barn and I follow him. It leads through a wall in the open room. A door like portion of the wall swings open, although it was really keeping nothing out because it had so many cutouts. I come into a much more enclosed part of the house. It becomes immediately apparent that it is a whore house. There are many women in old fashioned undergarments moving about in a very relaxed and inviting manner.

The madam sits with me and starts to discuss my needs. At one point I am to write something on a large plaque/poster. There are many places where others have written notes. It is like the writing in a year book. Each entry is unique in hand writing, length and direction the small notes are tilted toward. I begin to write my name and a note. I look back over what I have written and I can not make it out. It is not writing at all but just misshapen lines and scrawls. As we are discussing my needs my relationship with my mother is brought up and there is some doubt as to my ability to perform. It is not judgemental, just insightful and factual as if they know me intimately.

My alarm goes off.

Notes: I have just been invited into Scott Sparrow's lucid dreaming study. I am very excited and am encouraged to have a vivid dream.

What does this dream mean?

What does the dream want?  If I was lucid I would want to have more extensive conversations with the old man. The problem with my hand writing was a huge dream sign and an invitation to go lucid.

Killing Cindy

8:11am

Killing Cindy

I am with my wife Cindy, we may be in a house. I am interacting with her in a way that is subtly aggressive. Over time my actions become more and more aggressive until I am physically attacking her. I am chasing her outside the house around the yard through the landscaping. I catch her and do several violent things, possibly choking her. She will not die. I then poor sand into her mouth and cover her face, possibly with my boots. She will not die. She chokes, coughs and recovers. I now realize what a horrible thing I have nearly done. I run away.

I am running through the neighborhood. I am running very fast and believe I can elude the police. Then I look out between some slats in a fence and see the whole neighborhood is out looking for me. I am trapped and apprehended very soon.  I am being held captive in my house, but there are no restraints, just presumed instructions to stay in one place until the police come back and get me.

I am there a long time and wonder what is going on. I decide to leave, but I am not running. I end up at the Jones'. They greet me very warmly, I tell Gladys what I have done. I feel oppressively horrible physically. She immediately treats me very kindly and tells me to take a seat in the den. I see various articles that are in the room in great detail. There is what may be an open suitcase with very formal clothes on a couch. I am lightly  touching some of the items by reaching over the back of the couch.

I wander around the house out of boredom and run into Harry and Gladys's daughter. She greets me warmly but I immediately tell hew what I have done. Part of me expects her to be afraid, but she is still very calm, just a bit more formal. At various points in the dream Harry, Gladys, Tenly and his wife all accept my presence and are actually somewhat protective.

Notes: I woke up too warm, I had not opened the window. I was looking at guns late at night on the Internet before I went to bed.

What is the dream telling me? It seems to be about violence and forgiveness. When I first woke up, I thought that guns are not the answer, at least not using them on others. I did something terrible and then was forgiven or at least forgotten. The contrast between how the Jones live (old money) and how I live, suburban was evident.

What am I going to do about it? Think long and hard before getting a gun.