White Dwarf Inspector/Destroyer (Big Dream)

Tuesday January 16, 2017
8:00am

Incubation: Please offer help on my way forward

White Dwarf Inspector/Destroyer [Big Dream]

I am gleefully angry in mad dwarf waiting in line to enter a large modern estate. I am with someone, it may be a robot.I am passing a concrete bollard, designed to stop cars. I demonstrate the destructive power of my flail, by striking and demolishing the structure. Everything is white. My clothes, my flail, the house exterior and interior.

The house is very modern, minimalist and elegant with all right angles and furniture built into the architecture. I have used my flail in the past to demolish much of the house. As part or reconstruction? The owners are home. I am joyfully anticipating the strategic destruction of the house by striking key structures and supports.

I hesitate and decide it is too beautiful to destroy. I wake grateful but puzzled.

Notes: I have been up very late, after 4:00am. I am contemplating being broke and needing to talk with my wife about finances and our relationship. I have been procrastinating the conversation.

What does the dream want?  Don't blow up my marriage. I have been considering divorce as an extreme option. Part of me has been trying to destroy my marriage by knocking at the foundations, financial stability/money. My shadow wants me to fail, to not be loved.  I need a plan to let this option go.

Extraordinary Efforts, Soul Revival

Saturday January 6, 2018

10:39am

Extraordinary Efforts

I am in the bedroom of a strangers house. There is a father, a son and a grandfather. They are working diligently on reviving a pet fish. The tank is laid out in many pieces and each is being attended to. The fish is on the floor as one of the pieces. I am looking very attentively at the proceedings. When the father turns to look at me I apologize for entering his home unannounced, he dismisses it and our attention returns to the fish and its tank apparatus. 

The grandfather explains that when they purchased the fish they had to sign an agreement to keep it alive at all costs. The father says if they knew it would take this much effort, they may have not gotten it to begin with.

The son is largely a spectator and is playing with something else. I tell him that I have an idea for something that would be a lot of fun. It is a self contained set of toys that is in a box with a handle. I explain that we launch it from a balloon and it lands next to Jordan Lake. I lift the box and it is very heavy. The whole enterprise is fairly impressive. 

Notes: The dream was very rich in detail. I woke in the night and started to read Robert Moss's Way of the Dreamer. It is amazing. My future?

Beware Virtual Reality

Friday January 10, 2018
10:11

Beware Virtual Reality

I an watching an interview and self reflection of a man in a room There may be others, it might be me, but it is a character I do not recognize. I am examining my virtual memories to try and figure out a technical problem. I am having some success. But my attention comes back into the room I realize the actual cost of the new technology. The loss of contact with "reality". Later I imagine a room full of young people all with VR headgear on and no idea of what is actually going on.

Notes: I am concerned that if I become lucid in a dream with an abstract or missing background I may be unable to escape.

This serial incompetence beggars belief

Friday 12 29, 2017
9:38 am

This serial incompetence beggars belief

I am in a room with someone, possibly Cindy.  My clothes and things are all in a mess. I pull some out. 

I am in another room,possibly getting dressed for work. I am working in an environment where I need to meet a dress code. I do not have what I need and am unable to start work.

I am in a house. I do not own it. I am walking room to room. They are very small and I have set up a minimum of things to provide the basic comforts. I get hyper focused on the counter around a sink. I am trying to clean up some water that has spilled or is leaking. There is a problem with the effort.

Notes: These dreams interpret themselves. Hopefully I have reached bottom. I am considering physically approaching Cindy for intimacy. Need to start small. She has no interest, tricky. 

Unwanted Advance

December 25, 2017
9:00am

Unwanted Advance

I am riding in a vehicle. It is bright and sunny. There is a woman to my left, I know her, she may be the wife of a friend. He may be gone or dead. My marital status is unclear I lean in to kiss her. She is wearing a thin silk dress that is well above her knees. As I lean in I put my hand on her inner thigh. I am moving very slowly our lips are just touching. She looks me in the eyes and dismisses my advance.

She scolds me mildly and then mentions how she doesn't understand how I can afford to be their boss (she uses a strange word). It is understood we work on commission and are not currently getting any.

I am pissed and falsely indignant. I know she is right.

I am now eating in a public restaurant. The quarters are very tight and I am at a shared table. Some one is trying to sit next to me and is trying to get settled  by climbing over the seat. I briefly think it is ok because I know him. I think it is a friend I have eaten here with before, (possibly in a dream I had earlier). It is very uncomfortable how close we all are. 

I awake upset on several levels.

Notes: I am encouraged by how vivid and sensual the dream is and how well I recall it.  I am dismayed because of my current financial status  reminder in the dream and the fact that I can not have guilt free sex even while dreaming.

What does the dream want? For me to be financially productive and to have intimate relations with my wife.  Not encouraged by the Internet or by "cheating" in my dreams.

Real Sex

Tuesday December 16, 2017
1:00pm

Real Sex

I am in a house that is not mine. There is a young woman who is naked sitting in my lap. I am kissing and fondling her small breasts with protruding nipples. She says she is cold and I pull over a blanket to cover her and then work at getting my hand under the blanket to return to her flesh.

Notes: I woke very excited that my wish/incubation for sex in my dream was answered. I proposed that having happy ending sex in my dreams would free me from recent obsessions while awake.

Basketball

Thursday December 12, 2017
11:21am

Basketball

Basically the dreaded NDR  I am in a largely  abstract space planning for a test.  I then find myself on the space I have been making plans about. I am working on a team sport and I decide it iS basketball (I am trying to remember the dream by naming it.

Notes. This was an earlier dream. I woke up to an alarm and had no memory of the dream I was in. When I tried to remember "basketball" I could not remember any details  I t fells like dream logic that has dissolved many times when it sees the light of day.
Day 2 of 30 days of meditation and dream journaling.