Lost and Found

Tuesday November 12, 2019 10:00 am

Lost and Found

I am bicycling with a woman. We have an assignment to contact two children in a neighborhood. It has to do with them making it to school. We find one of them but do not have the address on the other. We return to the school and I am looking for scraps of evidence about what the child's address is. I then start talking to a teacher who is very organized and has a list with everyone on it. I complement her on her origination.

I am contemplating how to contact the remaining child. If I ride my bike there then how am I going to transport the child? I consider the use of a car. At some point I realize the missing address is the same as the first one. They are siblings. I wake while contemplating the dilemma.

Notes: I am happy that this dream goes from confusion to clarity...big improvement.

What does the dream want? To let me know I am on the right tract with building the website for the inn and possibly with an approach to being more intimate with Cindy.

Nine Keys to Understanding Your Dreams (Moss)

Nine Keys to Understanding Your Dreams 
(Text adapted from Conscious Dreaming by Robert Moss. Published by Three Rivers Press.)

1. Trust Your Feelings 
Always pay attention to how you feel when you wake from a dream. Your feelings and bodily sensations may be your best guide to the relative urgency and importance of a dream, and its positive or negative implications.

2. First Associations 
In keeping a dream journal, you will want to get into the habit of jotting down your first associations with the dreams you record. What floats to the surface of your consciousness in the first minutes after waking may come from layers of the dream that have eluded, or from deeper levels of dreaming

3. Reality Check 
Compare what is going on in the dream to the rest of your life, including the life of your imagination. Always ask whether it is possible that any part of the dream will manifest, literally or symbolically, in physical reality. Though dreams are inner experiences, they often contain accurate information about external reality. In both subtle and unsubtle ways, dreams incorporate signals from the outside environments.

4. Dream Reentry 
Dreams are real experiences, and a fully remembered dream is its own interpretation. The meaning of a dream is inside the dream itself. By learning how to re-enter dreams, you will develop the ability to clarify messages about future events, resume contact with inner teachers, and resolve unfinished business.

5. Dialogue with Dream Characters 
One of the best ways to work out what your dream characters are telling you is to ask them. You can do this through dream reentry or simply by sitting down with a pad and pen, imagining that the dream figure is in front of you, and opening a conversation. Nine Keys to Understanding Your Dreams/Robert Moss p. 2

6. Tracking Your Dream Self 
Who are you in your dreams? Are you the protagonist or simply an observer? Are you younger or older? Male or female? How does the situation and behavior of our dream self compare with that of your waking self? The character who appears in all of your dreams, even if only as a witness, is you.

7. Symbol Exploration 
Although the dream source tries to communicate with us as clearly as possible, it must often speak in symbols in order to carry us beyond the limitations of the everyday mind. Symbols take us from what we know to what we do not yet know. You'll be inspired to track your symbols far and wide, and may discover that your personal dreams embody timeless myths from many traditions. Always remember that the best encyclopedia of dream symbols is your own journal, kept over time.*

8. "What Part of Me?"
Dreams make us whole. They show us the many aspects of ourselves and help us to bring them under one roof. This is why it is often useful to ask "what part of me" different characters and elements in a dream might represent. However, this approach is rarely sufficient since dreams are transpersonal as well as personal. If you meet a tribal shaman in a dream, that may be an aspect of yourself and an actual shaman. If you meet your departed grandmother, that is more likely to be Granma trying to communicate than merely a part of you that is like her.

9. Dream Enactment 
Dreams require action! You may take creative action, turning a dream into a story, a picture a collage.You may do some shamanic shopping, to get shoes or earrings your dream self was wearing or a sculpture of a deity you saw in a dream. You may use the dream as GPS on your life roads. You may accept dream assignments, seeking to translate that strange word or find that obscure place on a map of this world or another world. At the least, you can harvest a bumper sticker or action phrase from the dream that will help to move its energy into life.

Short Reminder List

1. Feelings 
2. Associations 
3. Reality Check 
4. Reentry 
5. Dialogue
6. Tracking Yourself 
7. Symbols
8. What Part of Me?
9. Enactment 

Confused in the Class & the Club

Saturday November 11, 2019 9:50 am

Confused in the Class & the Club (w/normal supplements)

I am in a classroom full of students. Class is just beginning and I am trying to get myself oriented. I have been struggling for a while to figure out what and where my next class is, the last of the day and maybe the week. I just can not remember and ask another student for help. She is one of three girls standing together. I explain my situation and have this helpless sad and pathetic look on my face. I tell her I have my schedule in my notebook, many inches thick, but I can not locate the piece of paper it is on.

The class seems to be divided into two sections, both of which are coming alive. There are staging some sort of production and I try and get out of the way but increasingly am pushed into a corner. I wake sad frustrated, almost devastated and then realize it is only a dream.

Notes: Listened to a chapter of Robert Moss's Dream Gates before going back to bed. Been having variations on this theme a lot.

Dream Enactment: (from Moss) Meditate on confusion.

Verse: 

Confusion makes me mad and leaves me sad. 

It turns me around and makes me frown. 

It strips me of direction and acts like an infection.

Most of all I am staid because I am so afraid.

Motorcycles & Mayhem

November 8, 2019 11:45 am

Motorcycles & Mayhem

I am having a n extended conversation with an android. The discussion is about eye focus and how we can shift micro focus during a conversation. (I need to look this up)

I am on a motorcycle ride wit others. We come to a very narrow turn and I stand the bike up almost vertically on its from wheel. I am balancing it to go down the narrow pass like a set of stairs.

I am on motorcycle riding fast and them slow way to at the end of a ride. There are indents in the road. It is not clear if I am slowing down because of the danger or just the designated end of the course.

Again, the bike is tipped at an extreme angle and almost dead stopped.

I am in a large indoor/outdoor party. Moving from one conversation/experience to another.

Patty is in a truck and she has stuffed all sorts of food into a purse. There are a couple of other women with her and she may be planning some sort of adventure. I wonder if I can go.

I come up to a beautiful tall redhead that is lounging on a sofa. I know her and get very close to her face. I can see every detail of her face and fine read hair. I am talking very intimately and may be slightly caressing her. The encounter is very sensual. She is slightly resisting and begins a lengthy discussion of how one of my eyes is focusing is a slightly different direct focusing on a different part of her face.

I am standing in line and telling a woman who may be a stranger that "I have got the New Orleans bug". It is a double entendre meaning I was bit by the bugs but am now captivated by its force of attraction.

Debbie is sitting or in a car and has a large piece of food in her mouth. She is fooling around and it moving it in and out of her mouth like a kid.

I am in my apartment. There is a meeting being held in another room and all the children, dogs and cats of the guests are my responsibility. It feels like fun.

I am sitting on a bucket, like I am going to poop, with my pants down. I may have started in a room but am now talking to a friend with no real concern about my situation.

Notes: Vivid, sensual, many segments. It feels like a series of dreams while on supplements, but none were involved. Yea! I woke being very happy with how many dream segments I was remembering. Second dream that Debbie was in within a week. Just short cameos, but very clear and memorable.

What does the dream want? For me to realize the plethora of dream experiences open to me. Also that I can have very sensual and vivid dreams without supplements.

Tuesday November 5, 2019 10:30 am
(took regular supplements after 5 hours sleep)

Fog of Dreams (Like fog of war)

I am in a series of rooms with many others. They are meeting rooms. The work that is being done is unclear. There is tech involved. I am looking an smart phones screens and the like paging through images that only make sense in the dream.

I am with someone in thew hallway and we are discussing his new office/recording studio. Similarly the details of the discussion only make sense in the dream. I wake with vivid images but unknowable goings on.

Notes: As I am waking up  I review the dreams and try and name them. I am unable. I can not articulate what they are about.

What does the dram want? For me to chill and not take supplements for a while? Introducing a new type of dream? Wants to shock me into awakening in the dream with massive dream logic?

Repeat Confusion, Clarity?

Monday November 4, 2019 9:15 am (Yea!, early...sort of)

Guy m Guy

I am in a gym or classroom, see a pretty girl and fantasize about booking up. My mate is watching through a window of a room next door and is pissed. I run into the room to "explain".

Native American Pilot

In a room taking with a flight commander over the radio. He is reminding me of the need to tell him just before my next take off.

I blast off with no warning, again. There are a series of straight pencil marks on the table and a new one appears as I take off.

I ask the commander how that was, he responds politely that  is was perfect. He then explodes info a controlled screaming tirade that I did not give him proper advanced notice, again! I then discuss with him an arcane procedure that allows a depositor to take over a bank. He is not getting it and I refer him to an article for info and validation.

Clueless in the Classroom

I am in a classroom waiting for a class to start. I am daydreaming and the class fills up and I have no seat. I get angry, throw my paper and pen across the room. The pen has come apart and the guy I almost hit with it asks if I need another pen. I say I am OK and move to another part of the room.

There is an open chair but it turns out to be next to an air vent and I cannot hear. The teacher is discussing an upcoming final test I am completely unprepared for. There is a vote on who will proctor the test. I do not participate because I can't hear. It was a no-duh result because everyone wanted the same teacher. When asked to explain the result the student next to me said this guy allowed you to smoke weed if you were done before everyone else.

There is some discussion about rape and I am surprised.

Notes: I have had this dream so many times. Especially when not watching my finances. Like now.

What does the dream want? For me to focus. Just realized this is an impediment to lucid dreaming. Feeling sorry for myself. Then thinking it is just an excuse and I just need to meditate more. Enough to change my brain structure. No biggie!

Random Thoughts: Looked up use of Native American. It sucks. most folks just want to be called by their tribe. Makes sense, but not workable. Like so many things American.

Lost and Found

Sunday November 2, 2019 11:30 am

Lost
I am in my home office. I am looking for some files. I look in one drawer. And then in another. I see some leftover evidence of files but not what I'm looking for. I get up from the desk and go to the room next door looking for my bed. There's someone else sleeping in the room. I go to another room same thing. I get the idea I am in the wrong apartment. I leave the apartment and start walking around. I go from one building to the next. From one environment to the next. And I can't find my way.

I'm trying to find my way out of a very large room and complex to the street outside. At one point a stranger stops me and asked me if I can give him directions, I tell him I cannot and continue on my way and finally make it to outside. I don't recognize the streets I don't recognize the buildings. I figure if I make it around the next corner I will make it to some place I recognized. but no matter where I go I'm someplace that looks sort of familiar but not correct. I wake up confused. It was similar to a false Awakening. In the dream I was very convinced that this was real.

Only in it for me. (fully volitional, made many decisions, partial lucidity?)
(X-rated over rated)

As I am getting dressed I'm putting on a funky combination of clothes. I don't have any money and do not have a lot of options about how I am dressing.

I am in a somewhat upscale restaurant. I feel under-dressed and have no money but order food anyway. The waiter is trying to be kind and spills some wine in front of me on the floor and pretends that it was his fault and is going to get me a new bottle of wine.

I get up from the table and start walking around the restaurant. I am cognizant that the waiter is coming back with my wine and feel a sense of urgency. there are many people in the restaurant I see Debbie sitting in a booth by herself. I sit down we are very glad to see each other. She comments she likes my clothes. I tell her that my dress it's sort of a costume.

Her husband comes back, someone I do not recognize, we say something about knowing each other but did not let on the depth of our relationship.

I'm making my way back to the table and possibly the same waiter bends down to clean my shoes. He uses a spray bottle they are sued shoes and it is odd to have them being "shined". I feel guilty because I don't have any money to tip him.

I am now wondering around other parts of the complex. It is much higher end. I find myself in a salon that is empty. It is very elegant and obviously for the very rich. I see a pair Lindt round chocolate candies.I pick them up and start eating them and bump into a young woman who is working there as a beauty person. She looks at the candies and says hello Mr. Lindt. She assumes that I am super rich. I immediately begin to take advantage of the situation and assume the role of a completely self-absorbed super rich person.

I start taking her clothes off and begin to sexually force myself on her. She's performing oral sex and I am forcing her to the point of discomfort. I then proceeded to take off the rest of her clothes. She has a very elaborate costume on. I find a pair of scissors and start to cut off her pants and underwear in multiple layers all at once.

At this point there are other people in the room there's a very focused mature black woman. She's looking into a locker that she's got someone locked in. She has been pursuing them and is staring at them. And I feel like that could be me. she tells me however that she's not pursuing me.

There are a couple of other people in the room as well and all of them are watching and even helping me disrobe this young woman. I then have full-on intercourse essentially raping her. Possibly ending with anal sex. Very sensual. (Something I have wanted to do in a lucid dream, or thought I wanted to)

I then start to make my way out of the facility trying to escape without paying. I am a mess and I'm looking for a shower. I can't find one and find a sink where I wash my face. My clothes are disheveled. I am nude from the waist down. As I start leaving the immediate salon the young woman is desperate and is following behind me hoping to still be paid.

I am able to cover myself by closing my robe. I am making my way down a long staircase case feeling like a thief. Next to me appears two people dressed like courtiers. They're carrying something like a carpet between them and it is covered in gold coins. One of them falls off I pick it up with the intention of giving it to the young woman. They somehow fall down the stairs making coins go everywhere. I reach my hands onto their carpet and grab two big handfuls of gold coins and stick them in my pockets. I still have the intention of giving it all to the young woman. I wake up basically disgusted with myself.

Playing in the Hood (Lost and found)

I am in a car in a parking lot with Julia. For some reason I tell her I am going out for a minute and leave her in the car.

I find my way through several buildings in a convoluted apartment complex. There is a large abandoned building with a steep access and broken windows. I climb down to explore. I get into some very dicey situations with nails sticking out of old wooden planks and I'm careful but nearly poke holes in my feet. While I am doing this there are a couple of young black men/boys watching me and are impressed with my dexterity and skill.

They continued on through the building and I follow them. The route turns out to be very treacherous and challenging but doable. At the end there is a very deep hole that we have to climb out of. I am contemplating how I'm going to manage it and one of the young men reaches down, takes me by the hand and pulls me out with a smile on his face. I am taken with how much fun it was interacting with people I do not normally interact with.

I remember Julia is in the car and start to find my way back. The apartments are very complex and look familiar but somehow I'm still well oriented. I remember very specifically how the parking lot I left Julia in is oriented next to my high school. I see the school and make my way on.

I am looking down a deep hill as I am making my way back and I'm amazed at how beautiful the landscape is. There is a deer that is running really fast from right to left and he slams into a man and his dog and knocks himself out. The dog is semi-conscious. As I am leaving I see that the deer is starting to recover.

I looked down at myself and my clothes are covered in mud and dirt and I reach into a pocket in my sweatpants and find my car keys. I think I was very stupid for almost losing them but feel confident that everything is okay now.

I'm climbing over some cars to make my way back. They are covered with snow and I need to slide down to the bottom. It works out well without me damaging anyone's car.

I get back thinking that Julia will be pissed at just sitting in the car for so long but she is engaged in some sort of game with a bunch of younger children in an interior courtyard of the same large complex of shoddy apartments. 

I wake happy that I was now found.

Note: I took my regular supplements. It had such an amazing effect I am curious as to why sometimes the effect is profound and sometimes it seems like almost nothing. I listened to a substantial part of Robert Ross's book and including some meditation techniques before going back to sleep. I had woken up with about 3-4 hours of sleep.

After the full immersion sex dream I was still feeling not good. I tried to go back and induce a more spiritually based dream and find a dream mentor. I've essentially given up on the idea of sex in dream. When I woke up from the second lengthy dream I was disappointed that I couldn't control the dream environment but then realized that I had had a long complex dream was feeling pretty good.

What does the dream want? I think it wants to demonstrate but having sexual encounters in my dream are really not satisfactory. if I'm going to have a sex life I need to do it while awake with real relationships with real people. Another possibility, is to have consensual sex only. Or even, sex controlled by the female. 

The dreams about racial interactions that are positive are fairly self-evident. The bookends of being lost at the beginning of the dream sessions and then being very well oriented at the end were also very satisfying and instructive. Have the right goals and you will know where you are, literally.

Wow.