Lost
I am in my home office. I am looking for some files. I look in one drawer. And then in another. I see some leftover evidence of files but not what I'm looking for. I get up from the desk and go to the room next door looking for my bed. There's someone else sleeping in the room. I go to another room same thing. I get the idea I am in the wrong apartment. I leave the apartment and start walking around. I go from one building to the next. From one environment to the next. And I can't find my way.
I'm trying to find my way out of a very large room and complex to the street outside. At one point a stranger stops me and asked me if I can give him directions, I tell him I cannot and continue on my way and finally make it to outside. I don't recognize the streets I don't recognize the buildings. I figure if I make it around the next corner I will make it to some place I recognized. but no matter where I go I'm someplace that looks sort of familiar but not correct. I wake up confused. It was similar to a false Awakening. In the dream I was very convinced that this was real.
Only in it for me. (fully volitional, made many decisions, partial lucidity?)
(X-rated over rated)
As I am getting dressed I'm putting on a funky combination of clothes. I don't have any money and do not have a lot of options about how I am dressing.
I am in a somewhat upscale restaurant. I feel under-dressed and have no money but order food anyway. The waiter is trying to be kind and spills some wine in front of me on the floor and pretends that it was his fault and is going to get me a new bottle of wine.
I get up from the table and start walking around the restaurant. I am cognizant that the waiter is coming back with my wine and feel a sense of urgency. there are many people in the restaurant I see Debbie sitting in a booth by herself. I sit down we are very glad to see each other. She comments she likes my clothes. I tell her that my dress it's sort of a costume.
Her husband comes back, someone I do not recognize, we say something about knowing each other but did not let on the depth of our relationship.
I'm making my way back to the table and possibly the same waiter bends down to clean my shoes. He uses a spray bottle they are sued shoes and it is odd to have them being "shined". I feel guilty because I don't have any money to tip him.
I am now wondering around other parts of the complex. It is much higher end. I find myself in a salon that is empty. It is very elegant and obviously for the very rich. I see a pair Lindt round chocolate candies.I pick them up and start eating them and bump into a young woman who is working there as a beauty person. She looks at the candies and says hello Mr. Lindt. She assumes that I am super rich. I immediately begin to take advantage of the situation and assume the role of a completely self-absorbed super rich person.
I start taking her clothes off and begin to sexually force myself on her. She's performing oral sex and I am forcing her to the point of discomfort. I then proceeded to take off the rest of her clothes. She has a very elaborate costume on. I find a pair of scissors and start to cut off her pants and underwear in multiple layers all at once.
At this point there are other people in the room there's a very focused mature black woman. She's looking into a locker that she's got someone locked in. She has been pursuing them and is staring at them. And I feel like that could be me. she tells me however that she's not pursuing me.
There are a couple of other people in the room as well and all of them are watching and even helping me disrobe this young woman. I then have full-on intercourse essentially raping her. Possibly ending with anal sex. Very sensual. (Something I have wanted to do in a lucid dream, or thought I wanted to)
I then start to make my way out of the facility trying to escape without paying. I am a mess and I'm looking for a shower. I can't find one and find a sink where I wash my face. My clothes are disheveled. I am nude from the waist down. As I start leaving the immediate salon the young woman is desperate and is following behind me hoping to still be paid.
I am able to cover myself by closing my robe. I am making my way down a long staircase case feeling like a thief. Next to me appears two people dressed like courtiers. They're carrying something like a carpet between them and it is covered in gold coins. One of them falls off I pick it up with the intention of giving it to the young woman. They somehow fall down the stairs making coins go everywhere. I reach my hands onto their carpet and grab two big handfuls of gold coins and stick them in my pockets. I still have the intention of giving it all to the young woman. I wake up basically disgusted with myself.
Playing in the Hood (Lost and found)
I am in a car in a parking lot with Julia. For some reason I tell her I am going out for a minute and leave her in the car.
I find my way through several buildings in a convoluted apartment complex. There is a large abandoned building with a steep access and broken windows. I climb down to explore. I get into some very dicey situations with nails sticking out of old wooden planks and I'm careful but nearly poke holes in my feet. While I am doing this there are a couple of young black men/boys watching me and are impressed with my dexterity and skill.
They continued on through the building and I follow them. The route turns out to be very treacherous and challenging but doable. At the end there is a very deep hole that we have to climb out of. I am contemplating how I'm going to manage it and one of the young men reaches down, takes me by the hand and pulls me out with a smile on his face. I am taken with how much fun it was interacting with people I do not normally interact with.
I remember Julia is in the car and start to find my way back. The apartments are very complex and look familiar but somehow I'm still well oriented. I remember very specifically how the parking lot I left Julia in is oriented next to my high school. I see the school and make my way on.
I am looking down a deep hill as I am making my way back and I'm amazed at how beautiful the landscape is. There is a deer that is running really fast from right to left and he slams into a man and his dog and knocks himself out. The dog is semi-conscious. As I am leaving I see that the deer is starting to recover.
I looked down at myself and my clothes are covered in mud and dirt and I reach into a pocket in my sweatpants and find my car keys. I think I was very stupid for almost losing them but feel confident that everything is okay now.
I'm climbing over some cars to make my way back. They are covered with snow and I need to slide down to the bottom. It works out well without me damaging anyone's car.
I get back thinking that Julia will be pissed at just sitting in the car for so long but she is engaged in some sort of game with a bunch of younger children in an interior courtyard of the same large complex of shoddy apartments.
I wake happy that I was now found.
Note: I took my regular supplements. It had such an amazing effect I am curious as to why sometimes the effect is profound and sometimes it seems like almost nothing. I listened to a substantial part of Robert Ross's book and including some meditation techniques before going back to sleep. I had woken up with about 3-4 hours of sleep.
After the full immersion sex dream I was still feeling not good. I tried to go back and induce a more spiritually based dream and find a dream mentor. I've essentially given up on the idea of sex in dream. When I woke up from the second lengthy dream I was disappointed that I couldn't control the dream environment but then realized that I had had a long complex dream was feeling pretty good.
What does the dream want? I think it wants to demonstrate but having sexual encounters in my dream are really not satisfactory. if I'm going to have a sex life I need to do it while awake with real relationships with real people. Another possibility, is to have consensual sex only. Or even, sex controlled by the female.
The dreams about racial interactions that are positive are fairly self-evident. The bookends of being lost at the beginning of the dream sessions and then being very well oriented at the end were also very satisfying and instructive. Have the right goals and you will know where you are, literally.
Wow.
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