The Bully, In Three Parts

Wednesday January 15, 2020 7:20 am

The Incident
I am with my wife. We are in an apartment, but there is also seems like out of doors. Our families are playing together. There is an incident (I either don't remember or it precedes the dream segment). I am being sternly lectured by my wife and by the other mother. She is from Indian, is wearing colorful ethnic colored wrapped silk dress. I am ashamed but resistant to their judgement. I am agitated and defensive. The two wives are focusing very judgmentally against me. We are about to part and then the Indian mother reminds us that they are scheduled to come to our house later in the afternoon. I am shocked/surprised, but she has switched modes and is now stating flatly that we regularly spend a lot of time together as families and that they will naturally come by this afternoon.

The Bully
I am outside on a lawn with a group of people. I am the focus of attention. We are getting settled in a group on the lawn. I am with my wife. The group leader is very focused on me. The actual session has not started but the leader is engaging me in a very targeted one way conversation. I am apparently the subject of the meeting. He is on me like a prosecutor in a murder trial, very carefully articulating the evidence with a very precise motive and methodology. He is in my face, always smiling but relentless. He is trying to convince me and bring me to my own realization  that I am a bully. I snatch up a young boy and start tussling on the ground and playing with him. I am enacting and telling a story at the same time. The boy is briefly scarred. I put him on my knee ans say "See, all that blustering is like an older brother pretending to be mean to a younger brother to get him to do something". I feel a welling of emotional as I play out the scene. I am sad and ashamed. (I wake startled, shamed, but go immediately into another segment)

The Artful Parker (Like the Artful Dodger)
I am in my mother's old giant green car. I am in the passenger's seat. There are two people in the back seat. We are going to a museum. There is lots of traffic and confusion on the street. There is no one in the driver's seat, but the car is slowly turning a corner. I see a parking spot that is open between two cars on my right. I float into the driver's seat and take control. I see there is a car on my left that is intending to take the spot. The front of my car is slightly ahead of hers. I very deftly slid into the space in a single movement. I as stopped, parked and very pleased with myself. It all happened so quickly that the woman to my left is surprised, like it was a magic trick.  I wake, still emotionally shaken. Saddened, shocked and ashamed. Am I a bully?

Notes: I rolled over between the 2nd and third segment but retained full memory of the dream. I named the segments, reviewed the action several times before fully awakening. I got up, still low on sleep to wright up the dream before I forgot it. I got a phone call from Brian with a construction question. It was about if I got the supplies I said I was going to get. I had insisted on doing the laundry room my way and had spend $200 I can't really afford on the flooring and bi fold vented doors. Just after Brain call at 7:20 am, I time I am rarely up these days, I realized it was very fortuitous I was up. He was calling to see if he needed to get the supplies. Precognitive in some weird way? Yes.  Looked up Artful Dodger: Jack Dawkins, better known as the Artful Dodger, is a character in the Charles Dickens novel Oliver Twist. The Dodger is a pickpocket, so called for his skill and cunning in that occupation. He is the leader of the gang of child criminals, trained by the elderly Fagin.

From The School of Imaginal Healing w/Robert Moss: In discussion, Robert will guide you to think about an ACTION PLAN to apply guidance or embody energy from the experience, or resolve issues that are unresolved. He will also encourage you to come up with a BUMPER STICKER, a one-liner distilling the essence of the experience, as you now understand it, that may give you forward momentum.

What does the dream want? For me to be less of a bully. Especially to Cindy.  For me to quite smoking weed so I dream with more clarity. For me to get up earlier. Fucking demanding dream!

Bumper Sticker Act out of love, not intimidation.

Action Plan: Submitted a dream report to the class.