They Mystery of the Sea

Sunday December 2, 2018  5:45 am

They Mystery of the Sea

I am moving up the coast and becoming one with the sea.  As I drift in and out of consciousness I struggle with the danger and complexity of allowing my mind to settle in to the waves and rocks immersed in the undulating swells. If I am not careful I will be lost to the sea; Yet the seduction is irresistible; The urge to be one.

Notes: I have just returned from Seattle/Tacoma.  I was taken with Vashon Island. I am getting over a head cold and breathing with the CPAP can be difficult.

What does the dream want? For me to meditate with the sounds of the sea.

NRA Youth Camp

Thursday 4:00 p.m.

NRA Youth Camp

I am in a car with Mike. We are being shot at by two people. I have no weapons but am considering responding in some way. I am then close by in a camp with lots of young people. They are all training to use guns. There are two young men who appear to be identical twins but are slightly different.  I get out of the car and tell them we are going to run the numbers to discuss their gun use.

I am woken by the doorbell.

Notes: I have spent lots of time recently researching purchasing guns. The increasing number of gun attacks in the US is startling. We just finished midterm elections.

What does the dream want?  Other than the relevance of the topic, I have no idea.

Human and Animals RIP

Monday October 22, 2018

Human and Animals RIP

I aw walking around the grounds of a newly acquired piece of property. I am with a man who is shewing me the ins and outs. Dora is checking out a place she can stay that is protected from the other dogs. There are many walking any playing around. She can see out from underneath a bench or something similar. I am thinking of Weejee, but she is not here. As we stroll the man explains that this is a place where owners and their dogs can come after death. Somehow, they can come beforehand as well. There is a long discussion of how an area can be customized to suite the dog and owner.

I am in a room and working on several details of the interior decorations. I am aware I am preparing the space for future use.

Notes: I wake up at least twice and am able to return to the dream. Weejee has just died Saturday night the 20th.  She ran away from the sitter and died in a horse field while trying to get home. She was on a mission. She ran so fast Jenna could not catch her...supper trot.

What does the dream want: For me to know there is a time and place for everything. I now believe there is a heaven and dogs are part of it.  Not pearly white gates with judgement, just relaxed contemplative space between lives on Earth.

Dark Tower

Thursday Sep 27, 2018

Dark Tower

I have been in an ongoing fight for several dream segments. Our small group is climbing the steps in a tall dark tower.  My enemy and nemesis, a young woman and myself. We are now in almost total darkness. I am covered in dark oil and am sliding across the concrete flood at an amazing speed.  As my hands and feet touch the slick deck it is like ice skating.  I can glide really fast in the dark. I circle around and come up to my enemy. I raise my sword, he comes into a ray of sunlight as my blade descends. It is the girl! I scabbard my weapon and woke up angry and afraid.

Notes: this is day three after the dream. It persisted in my memory for three days.

What does the dream want? For me to be careful.  Possible upper limit or other self sabotage.

Seminal Lucid Dream, Intimacy, Creativity & Knowledge

Saturday

2 Gelantamine, 1 Choline

Incubation:

"Grant me calm clear awakening in my dreams so I can gain insight, knowledge and wisdom."

Intimacy, Creativity and Knowledge (three short discrete lucid Dreams)

Intimacy: I am with a young woman. I  instantly look at my hand and it has small stumpy fingers. We are talking but there is an air of physical and emotional intimacy. I wake.

Creativity: I am moving, possibly on a train. I have a flute pressed to my lips.  I hold up a hand to discover it deformed (yea! I'M lucid). As I am playing it I am changing the physical attributes of the instrument.

Knowledge: I am in a small brightly lit room with posters and places to sit and work. I am getting a tour of the facility and how you use the resources. Most importantly, the man, in his 30's? with dark think hair and a beard, assures me he be available for questions. I am aware that I do not want to take too much of his time out off respect.

Notes: Amazing.  This may work yet.  This was after I perfect day of trout fishing with Mike. I am hoping the incubation with be the key going forward. It was not perfect, but very close to the one I came up with as I was doing Wake back to sleep. I will use the supplements for a while, but then cut them back, bit by bit.

Lost Duffel

Monday August 13, 2018
10:50 am

Lost Duffel

I am traveling with a group. We are moving around a lot. We come to a stream. The water is bath tube warn and very shallow. A well manicured lawn come to the edge of the water. I want to fish, but the others are already moving on. I go inside to use the bathroom. When I return I can not find my duffel. I have misplaced it or it has been stolen. A female tells me the others are waiting.

Notes: Woke up frustrated and ashamed.

What does the dream want? For me to get in sync with others for me to be independent.  I choose B.

The Failure

Friday August 1, 2018
2:2 am

The Failure

In the classroom/dorm I am taking a test in a theoretical math class. I am unable to answer any of the questions. It is not clear if I have not kept up or it is just beyond me. when it is time to turn in the test I tell the professor. I am asked to leave the class immediately, including packing up all my clothes that are in the classroom/dorm.

Going down the stairs, get in a fight. As I am leaving I get in an argument with one of the students. He ascends down the stair in the air. I make a gesture that show I could easily defeat him, but we have no contact. This is discussed explicitly.

Fireworks display.  As I am carrying all my stuff, I come to a fireworks display. It is very interesting and technical. One of the displays shots like a meteor thru the nearby pine tree tops. Two of them catch on fire briefly, but cause to immediate threat.

A cappella musical group. I then briefly participate in an a cappella group, but it becomes obvious that I can not really do that either.

Looking to buy the professor a cigar in the future. I very briefly see the professor, who I like a lot, buying a cigar from a tiny one man shop. I imagine getting him one in the future.

Notes: John and Carrie are visiting and are living a life well lived financially. He commented "your office looks like a bomb hit it." I thought, another bomb/failure in my life. The dream was very vivid, interactive and complex. The emotion of failure was weighing on me like a heavy weight. But my mood immediately lifted when I thought how clear the message was and that I had an outstanding invitation to talk about what dreams mean to me at the Rhine.

What does the dream want? For me to get off  my ass and work.

Japanese Tranquility

Sunday July 29
1L07 pm

Japanese Tranquility

I am casting a rod with majestic tranquility. For some reason the set up seems all Japanese.  Each moment is slow motion and fluid. I think to myself others should be doing this wonderful thing. I am then with a professor who has duplicated a very special Japanese liquor for his students. I see the bottle is amazing detail, it may have an elaborate label. He hands it to me and I realize it is very small, fits in the palm of your hand. I surmise that the ingredients are very expensive and imagine making a bigger batch myself.

Notes: I have a sinus infection and got to sleep very late/early in the morning.

What does the dream want? For me to meditate?.

 

The Kiss, The Cunning Race & The Quickie

Wednesday July 25, 2018
9:15

The Kiss

I am in an open naturally lit room with a beautiful woman, possibly my future wife. She is being romantically coy and playful. I pursue her about the room. We are moving in slow motion. I catch her, we embrace, our lips meet in a kiss that is the fulfillment and expression of pure love and emotion.

The Cunning Race

I am in an inside arena or it is very dark It feels like ancient Rome. I am in a prolonged foot race with an older powerful man, possibly Trump. Tobias is running in a second race, against the same opponent.  The races are long and complex. Trump appears to win both races, but he was not paying careful attention. We go to a device that has recorded all the activity. It is a relief because I was concerned that the details would be lost to my faulty memory. I had doubled back several times and Tobias had consistently chugged away even though it appeared he was losing badly. Tue reconciliation device showed that I had won my race and that Tobias has won many of his laps, they were each counted separately. I had been carrying a small bundle that Trump coveted. It was to go to the victor of the race. He demanded it. I obliged and scratched his chest with a bundle of sharp twigs that I had been carrying in my hand the whole time. I said you can have it and scratched Trump across the chest, it was poisonous.

The Quickie

I am gong through a series of similar scenes in a hotel or large multi roomed building. There are different friends in each. I keep making derogatory statement about the military and how bad they are. Each time a military officer is just out of ear shot. I am trying desperately to catch up with my lover.  Time is running out. We finally meet with only moments left. We have an immediate single movement full penetration embrace. Sexual completion is immediate.

Notes: I have been working on renovating the basement and have reached a satisfactory point after a lot of effort and procrastination. I was awoke from the drams happy and energetic.

What does the dream want?  The Kiss: There is always hope for romantic fulfillment. The Cunning Race: Persistence is the key. The Quickie: Stick to your goals.

The Invaders

Saturday June 23, 2018
9:47 am

The Invaders

I am part on an invading army.  It is not a bloody invasion, but a "civilized" over taking of a lrge population. I as tasked with coordinating the details of complete assimilation of a village. I have begun the effort but my commander, a woman, is not pleased. She says I am being to strict. They are resisting.

If I want to get all of the real information/secretes from them i need to be kinder and then they will open up. She demonstrates this to me on a fresh group. I feel frightened.

The invasion and manipulation theme persists through several awakenings over 2-3 hours.

Notes: The idea of Persistent Theme (PT)s occurred to me as I was waking, but I think I I had a different term.  I need to revisit my keynotes section to look for key themes or ideas.

What does the dream want? Not at all sure. Being kind for a deeper sinister purpose. I see this in politics but it does not seem particularly relevant to my life.

The Inspection

Wednesday June 21, 2018 5:04 am

The Inspection.

I am with some other fellow soldiers. We are on a large brand new military housing complex.  [common theme] out job is to inspect the facilities. As I walk up to the building I will be inspecting I understand only one soldier lives in this large building. He some how found himself isolated while following all the rules.

I am now inside large monochrome off white apartments. I am inspecting the kitchen. It is very sophisticated and somehow the whole part of the room I am in iri is an elevator.  I am trying to figure out the wall controls when I realize that you have to take the whole part of the room to the third floor before you can get to the second floor. I puzzle that while is is very innovative after a while it would be a major pain in the ass to slowly go the the third floor every time you wanted to go just one floor up.  This was so fundamental that I couldn't understand how this could have been built in the first place. I wonder if I should report it. I then ponder that the whole I election is not well organized. We only have a piece of paper no forms or formal procedures.

I am now in another building basically gaming an unguided tour. Another soldier says we need to return to our assigned building. I need to pee. There are toilets in a very open area.  A woman is working in the area and when I ask if I can use one she says no.  I am now rushed to get back but am uncertain bow to get there. I ask directions but need to draw on a class wall with an orange pen to get the big picture. I try and erase the drawing but it is permanent marker on brand new glass. I need to rich off an contemplate the likelihood of being found out later. In wake up needing to pee.

Notes: What does the dream want? I find myself in a large organization (American society) but am alone, unclear how to proceed, frustrated and need to pee.

Right Here Right Now

Sunday June 17, 2018
12:04 pm

Right Here Right Now

I am waiting outside to enter a game. Others are standing in line, it seems to me someone may be butting in line. Larry Jacobson, from High School. When I get in, there is a series of tasks I need to perform. I am almost done and realize my left hand is severely wounded.  There is a huge open gash that I examine very closely [hyper detail]. I can push small bones back into place. There is no pain and I don't know how I got in this condition. I consider completing the tasks, but realize I have completed all but one so I go outside for help.

I meet up with a couple of friends and we go to get medical  help. The medical people are far away and hard to find. We are told they are on an emergency. I scream "This is an emergency, right here, right now!" I wake.

Notes: Before I went to sleep I asked to get insight into how I can start good diet and exercise. As I was thinking about the dream the idea of Dream-T's came to me. The first one will be....

RHRN
Right Here Right Now

Red Letters (RHRN larger) on black T-Shirt. 

What does the dream want? For me to get healthy Right Here Right Now.

Newbie Guard

Saturday  Mat 24, 2018 6:45 am

Newbie Guard

I am a woman that is relatively new at her position. I am not fully trained and can only perform perfunctory duties. I am working with a few others. We are maintaining some kind of boarder.  Our work is very important.  It is not clear what we are keeping out.  The work is complex and potentially dangerous.

I partially wake and have plenty of time to reenter and review the dream, but is has been going  on for a long time and is difficult to discern what is going on. The setting is industrial.  There are dirt floors and simple American frontier furniture.

Notes: Day 4 of 30 consecutive journal entries.  Just took supplements and hoping to go lucid.  Working on "Who am I now" reality checks.  Being a woman was a major dream sign.

Denuded Angels

Monday May 21, 2018
12:36 pm

Denuded Angels

Two large dark winged figures are dynamically intertwined. With each touch the extraneous parts of their beings fall away. Their wings disappear, not torn off, just shed. They continue until each reaches a dark minimalist form.

A single dark man goes through a similar transformation. The details of  his outward appearance dissolve until he is left as a featureless form.

This pattern repeats many times through many cycles of consciousness and sleep.

Notes: Listed to Mysticism: A Study in the Nature and Development of Man's Spiritual Consciousness by Evelyn Underhill driving home from DC last night. The concept of getting to truth below our senses was central.

I woke briefly at 8:30 am and went in and out of sleep with these images persisting until 11:30 am.

What does the dream want? For me to get down to my essence.

Chased on the Base

Thursday May 19, 2018
10:34 am

Chased on the Base (Full circle fear)

I am with one or two others and running through some light cover in the dark. We are trying to avoid detection. We are on a military or security base. I may have been one of the agents but have switched sides and am being hunted.

The chase continues, but now I am on a motorcycle. We have sophisticated machines and are feeling pretty good

Many years have passed and I am traveling to a small town in a modest car. I am feeling relaxed and happy. I enter an upscale restaurant in a fancy standalone building. I see that this is the new and expanded version of a place I used to visit years ago. I want to say hello to some old friends but can only look at them and possible be recognized.  It is too risky to actually talk.

I am in the basement of a large office building. I am about to leave when I recognized a man that was one of the lead people searching for me years before. I try and leave without being spotted, but he ends up in the elevator with me, saying nothing with no eye contact.

Even though he is not following me directly, I feel trapped and afraid. It has all begun again. I see and feel the image of a dark entrance to a  cave or culvert.

Notes: I went dark to sleep several times and the dream persisted. I woke afraid and depressed.

What does the dream want?  For me to get unstuck, trapped, etc. On some level I may blame others for my need to be underground.

Shakori Shamanic Journeying

Saturday May 5, 2018
8:00 pm

Shakori Shamanic Journeying

I am doing my second round of a 15 minute shamanic drumming introduction. We are in the Healing Arts section of the Shakori Hills festival. I am skeptical, because even though I had a powerful initial experience with our guide, the music is so loud from two surrounding stages, I can barely hear hear him. I have already had the orientation earlier so I am content to go on.  Our drummer suggests we have an intention for each journey, mine is to meet a guide that will help me get back into this special state of consciousness at will. I am laying on a yoga mat in a circle with other travelers. Michael, our host, is in the center, our heads are all in the center of the circle as well, we are laying on our backs.  He offers a brief introduction and suggests we starting the journey with our active imaginations and see what happens...

I am paddling in open water toward the source of the lake I am on, a small stream that emerges from the deep woods. I paddle up stream into the dark forest with massive primitive trees on the shore. As the water gets too shallow to navigate, I pull the canoe to the shore and continue up stream through the woods. I see the stream emerge from a cave and I enter. I now see that I have been following a virgin spring to its source. I come to open cavern, the spring falling down in a small water fall into a natural stone pond.  I think to myself, I do not need to have anything else happen to me. I have ventured into the heart of the mystery of the world. I am content. The drum gets louder and I can feel the air pressure on my chest. The sound, vibration and pressure are mesmerizing. I then have an epiphany..".The Heart of the Mystery of the World is my Heart"

He brings us slowly back to the setting. I realize that I had completely tuned out the loud music during my shamanic journey. I am filled with joy.

Notes: I felt   strong sense of synchronicity as I am reading Robert Moss's book on soul retrieval through shamanic drumming. Quite the gift.

What does the dream want?  For me to know I have everything I need at all times. I can always literally listen and feel my heart as a way to be centered and connected. My heart beat is at the center of all things.

The Tour Guide

Monday April 30, 2018
11:08 am

The Tour Guide (Pre-Lucid) Finding My Way While Leading Others

I am in a large facility. I have a group of people I am trying to get through a tour or challenge that is complex and difficult.

I am with a young participant, we are nude in the shower. I willfully but very gently take her hands an put then on my penis. I then slowly manipulate her hands to begin to get me excited.

We are working our way down a mountain. Some are falling to the way side, but there is no death or sadness. I wake and do not move.

Notes: I named the dream and started to recall several scenes with in the dream. I woke briefly went back to sleep for an hour or so and still remembered it when I woke the second time. I took too long to write it down. The erotic shower scene was very close to full consciousness.

What does the dream want?: That I should lead others while I find my way. That I get better at lucid dreaming!

Dreaded NDR

Monday  Apr 10, 2018
6:00 pm

Dreaded NDR

Black Hole

Notes: Day 21 of 30 consecutive days journaling,

Multiple Dreams [S: Choline, Galantamine, Vervain]

Monday Apr 9, 2018
11:00 am

The Party (Going to an orgy with my wife)

The Party Gate (Being a Scofflaw)

I am at the the rear of a large house party. They is a gate in a tall fence being manned. I am with Cindy and decide to crash the party She is reluctant to enter and I go around front with an intention of coming back to get her.

In the Party

I am walking through a large lavish house with many people lounging around in various states of undress. It is basically a huge house party orgy. I am looking at several interesting women but do not engage with anyone.  I meet up with Cindy. She is very energetic and super sexually charged. I think it must be speed. She tells me she has no feelings for me. I say we should divorce and I get a $1M. Once I get that out, I calm down and continue the conversation. I am willing to become a cuckold and use my small penis and a "pointer" for others who are well endowed. I then tell her I really love her and we should be able to work something out.

Women Talking

While waling around the party I am standing next to a small group of women who are topless. On of them is likely pregnant and has young breasts with very long nipples. I state at them and notice at one point she has put small band aids over them but the have lipped to the side.

The Official Entry Gate Into the Pary

I am watching as a long line of men and women are making their way into the party. They are being questioned and then let in. The men are hyper masculine like German Vikings. Some of the women are submissive. But as they are let in they change into chill party goers.

The New Camper's First Day

Fucking the Game Board

I am milling around a group of campers. I am not talking but in some way communicating with a being next to me. It is short and likely not human. We are both working at a game that goes up the wall. There are elaborately carved interactive wooden characters and devices. They all work together like a dynamic puzzle. I take my dick out and start manipulating the game. I manage to have interactions all the way up the wall. It releases a model boat carried up by balloons. It rises slowly to the ceiling where I see other similar crafts. The is how you win the game, others have done so earlier.

Going Through my New Camper Special Items

I an going through a one-on-one new camper orientation with a male councilor. There are several items were are going through one by one. They are all odd and unique. There is a map and he tells me I will need to find the river. I panic because I can not find the map for a moment. I grab at a pile of things meant for the next camper and knock them over. The counselor is exasperated with me. I then realize that I already know where the river is because I have been to the valley before, actually several times.

Notes: Day 20 of 30 consecutive days of journaling. [S: Choline 2 tabs x 500mg, Galantamine 2 tabs x 4mg, Vervain 2 capsule x 360mg] Too much to interpret all, but picked two items that stood out. Definitely get a boost from the supplements, just not certain lucidity.

What does the dream want? Two items of many: For me to really work something out to return intimacy to my marriage. To return to being more in touch with my emotions (the river).

The Publics

Sunday Apr 8, 2018
8:30 am

The Publics 

I am leaving a large modern office building onto a busy street with lots of pedestrians. I see two unusually small people, a woman and a man. They look homeless. My heart goes out to the woman and I hug her. The man gets upset and is rude to her. I tell him it's not like that.

We are back in the office and everyone is excitedly talking with them.  They are now regular size and may both be girls. They have no family. One of the girls said they emerged from the woods 20 years ago. I thought...you're teens, how did you do something 20 years ago?

They call themselves "The Publics" and are getting famous. I ask if we can get pictures with them and they say no. they want to not be recognized by their pictures, just by people they have actually met.

Notes: Day 19 of 30 consecutive days of journaling.

What does the dream want?  I have no idea.

Dreaded NDR

Saturday  Apr 19, 2018
11:49 pm

Dreaded NDR

Black Hole

Notes: Day 18 of 30 consecutive days journaling,

Dreaded NDR

Friday Apr 6, 2018
11:49 pm

Dreaded NDR

Black Hole

Notes: Day 17 of 30 consecutive days journaling,

Stuck

Thursday April 5, 2018
8:30 am

Stuck

I am in a column suspended in space. I am trying to expand but feel restricted. I am in the process of waking but an unable to name the dream or remember previous scenes.

Note: Day 16 of 30 consecutive days journaling. Had a drink just before going to bed.

What does the dream want?: For me to be sober and present.

The Selection

Wednesday Apr 4, 3018
10:15 M

The Selection 

I am in an abstract space or in a very small structure in outer space.  I am selecting or being selected for different qualities. There are others, but each is being selected to be combined with the one central entity, that is me. After the initial selection, there is movement to go outside the original container and select whole entities. The process is fascinating but somewhat fearful.

Notes:Day 15 of 30 consecutive journaling days. The Dreaded NDR drought is broken...yea! Before going to sleep I did a positive incubation by Wayne Dyer  to support my subconscious. This may be the foundation for the dream. The idea that we are all connected and each of us has the qualities of a god.

What does the dream want? For me to embrace my greatness.

Notes on Wayne Dyer: Wayne Dyer stated Nisargadatta Maharaj to be his Teacher and cited the quotation, "Love says: 'I am everything'. Wisdom says: 'I am nothing' from a compilation of talks on Shiva Advaita (Nondualism) philosophy I Am That. He was influenced by Abraham Maslow's concept of self-actualization and by the teachings of Swami Muktananda, whom he considered to be his MasterIn his book, Wishes Fulfilled; Mastering the Art of Manifesting, Dr. Dyer also credited Saint Francis of Assisi and the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu as foundational influences in his work.

Dyer told readers to pursue self- actualization, calling reliance on the self a guide to "religious" experience, and suggested that readers emulate Jesus Christ, whom he termed both an example of a self-actualized person and a "preacher of self-reliance". Dyer criticized societal focus on guilt, which he saw as an unhealthy immobilization in the present due to actions taken in the past. He encouraged readers to see how parents, institutions, and even they, themselves, had imposed guilt trips upon themselves.

Although Dyer initially resisted the spiritual tag, by the 1990s he had altered his message to include more components of spirituality when he wrote the book Real Magic and discussed higher consciousness in the book Your Sacred Self.

Dreaded NDR

Tuesday Apr 3, 2018
11:49 pm

Dreaded NDR

Black Hole

Notes: Day 14 of 30 consecutive days journaling,

Dreaded NDR

Monday  Apr 2, 2018
11:49 pm

Dreaded NDR

Black Hole

Notes: Day 13 of 30 consecutive days journaling,

Dreaded NDR

Sunday Apr 1, 2018
11:49 pm

Dreaded NDR

Black Hole

Notes: Day 12 of 30 consecutive days journaling,

Dreaded No Dreams Remembered {NDR}

Saturday Mar 31, 2018
11:59 pm

Notes: 11 of 30 consecutive journaling days.

Multiple Dreams [S:Choline, Galanamine]

Friday Mar 30 2018
2:00 pm

Multiple Dreams [S:Choline, 2 x 500mg tab, Galanamine, 1 x 90mg tab]

Nursing, Bottom Floor Mess (Too Much to Handle)
I am a nurse waking around several hospitals rooms on the bottom floor. There are no patients and the place is a total mess. Left overs opened materials everywhere, lots of water in pools on the floor. I basically give up because it is too much work.

Nursing, Main Floor (Get Help from the Daltons)
I am upstairs and things are still a mess, but much more manageable. As I am cleaning a group/family of people come in. I ask them their names and they say Dalton. We work together and get the place put back in shape.

Nursing On the Road (Evil Others)
I am still a nurse, but out on the road responding to am automobile accident. I am part of a team but there is a second team as well Members of the second team are not following proper procedures. They are doing things that are bizarre and will likely result in additional injury or death of the victims we are trying to help.

Chasing the Deal (Working Together to Get the Real Deal)
I am with someone else, a man, and I am maneuvering my truck in the parking lot. They feel it is dangerous, I feel it is OK, including driving over a curb.

We enter a building and join others of our group. It is in an old house, but is functioning as an office. It is not our office, it belongs to someone else who is also present. We are trying to figure out what to do next. The key is to contact someone we do not know well. I have met a woman who may have vital information but she may have just left or been fired from her job, so it may be difficult to get in touch with her.  One of us (Rico?) also knows a woman, who may be the one we want, but he has a less friendly relationship with her.

We are loudly discussing all of this when one the people whose office it is tells us we are making a lot of noise. One of their  coworkers/boss says we are fine and we should stay. Our search for information has turned into a game. We are rewarded for working together by all getting naked and likely planning to have sex. It is coordinated by the guy who told we could stay.

We are in another location. It is the outside of a restaurant or hotel. We are trying to follow someone, possibly the same guy from before. We think he may be giving us the slip, but it turns out her is walking up some sitars on the outside back of the building. It sort of looks like he is disappearing. We follow him up the stairs. It seems to be our goal. I am at the top of the stairs but the guy we followed in on hi knees giving me a blow job beneath a half door 

Notes: This is 10 of 30 consecutive days of journaling. I woke happy because I could remember so many details. Not at all sure if any of it was really significant.

What does the dream want? Sex? Information, not secrete but hard to find, that will tell me how to be successful. The messy hospital bottom floor that has so much spilt water..if water is emotions, then maybe I just need to leave the past behind and get help from my friends.

Dreaded NDR

Thursday Mar 29, 2018
11:59 pm

Dreaded NDR

Black Hole Releases No Dreams


Notes: Day 9 of 30 consecutive journaling day. 1st NDR. Did not write it down until the next day, but remembered several times...just a detail.

A Spot on the Floor

Wednesday Mar 28, 2017
1:00 pm

A Spot on the Floor (The Search for Privacy)

I am staring at a rough patch on a wooden floor. I am imagining what has caused it. like a detective would solve a crime by imagining a scenario. I am crawling from place to place, very secretively. I have finally come to spot hidden and private. It is extreme, but this is what it take to be alone. I wake.

Notes: This is day 8 of 30 consecutive journaling days. I felt anxious when I woke.

What does the  dream want? Element of the dream included being secretive, being isolated and desperate. Sounds like my inner most self wants to opposite of this.

Multiple Dreams

Tuesdasy Mar 27, 2018
1011 pm

Precision in the Universe
I an trying to dock a spaceship. There is something about the alignment with the space station that is not quire right. If I do a regular docking will not release the full potential of my payload. I need to have a special perspective and see how the coming together looks from the other side. No matter what side I am on, there is a perspective problem. It may be a problem only solved with dream logic.

Flying: [Big dream sign!] I am with someone and getting ready to go inside. I am fooling around and am flying/gliding around just before I have to go inside.  The flying is natural and I am contrasting to the book based information we will be getting in the classroom.

Course to get Certification: I am sitting in a classroom and studying detailed material. It is difficult, but I am handling it. I need to go to the restroom.  There is one in the class. It is an enclosed fiberglass room in the corner of the classroom. I am now completely naked and have to pee badly. I look down and see water leaking into the john through a hole in the side wall. I am concerned that my urine will be discovered when I report the leak, but I do it anyway and prepare to be embarrassed.

Notes: This is 7 of 30 consecutive days of journaling. The classroom and embarrassment are repeating themes.  Dreaming of flying and not becoming lucid is troubling.

What does the Dream Want? For me to learn new skill and not embarrass myself?

Attached or not?

Monday Mar 26, 2018

Attacked or not? (originally "Camp Administrator")

I am in something like a summer camp. I am transitioning from being a camper to running the camp. There is an administrative meeting that I am attending. We are going over proper procedures and protocols. Something happens and we are now in a shutdown mode, somewhat panicked.

It is not clear what has happened, even if some has happened. I am going step by step through the protocol, focusing on mobile phones. I am talking with another member of the staff, a female. I tell he in detail how to use phone, giving her the aside that it may all not be necessary.

Notes: This is 6 consecutive journaling of 30 The office/work theme has repeated many times. I need to look that up. [Back to school: you need to move forward in your life, to learn new abilities and skills that will help you grow]  I am guessing other groups I dream of are based on my desire to be productive with others.

What does the dream want?: For me to be more certain and productive.

Good vs Evil

Sunday Mar 25, 2018
11:30 pm

Good vs Evil: This is the firth consecutive day of 30 of journaling. I am trying to complete a process of getting all of the dark material our of a pattern.  Just as I finish, the entire pattern turns black.  I get the idea that dark forces or evil have just taken over.  I start the process again and the same thing happens. Each time the pattern repeats I slowly realize that evil is not that worse than good. It just be different.

This patter of dark vs light repeats for a few hours. I wake up one or twice an fall right back into it.

Notes: I was amazed at how many times I went back into essentially the same dream. I work at 7:00 am and again at almost 11:00 am, still having dream with similar themes.

What does the dream want? It is not clear to me any actions that I should take as a result of this dream.

Multiple Dreams

Saturday March 24, 2018 9:30 am
[w/same batch of Supplements]  4 of 30 consecutive days journaling.

Dragging Rope from a Car w/Charles: Driving with Charles. there is a rope dragging out side the car. When I asked him he said, maybe it is a mile back.  I get out and start retrieving the rope. It is temporally caught under the wheels over several moving cars. It is muddy in the lot I pulling the rope into. At some point I realize I will have a mile of rope in a pile and it will still not be organized.

Romantic walk around the City:

Cafe that is not open Scene: I am with a young woman. There is something off, I may be married. We go to a cafe. It is closed but the door is open. I talk with the two females employed and the owner, a guy. He say he is sorry he is close. He has just married another employee (I think he means married like a minister, he did the ceremony or juts the catering) The dream scene is dark and I am not sure I heard him right. I think about being old and hard of hearing.

Empty Store Scene: I briefly walk thru an empty boutique store of some kind.

Talk with Guide Scene:  I am talking with a guy who is supposed to give tourists advice. He tells me I should go to a software house across the city. I say it is likely closed and I need to leave soon. He goes in the back and may have an argument with someone. His female coworker comes and sits next to me. We discuss his strange behavior. She leans over me. She has large breasts and I gently caress one. I ask if it was OK saying I am lonely. She says its OK, but its not.

Dog show scene: I have been split from my fried for some time and am getting worried. I pick up my tablet and it has come apart. I pick up my phone and it is in the same condition. As I am contemplating getting home with out her, she arrives.

The is a dog show going on right next to where I have been sitting with the woman I groped. There are lines of dogs, like sled dog teams. They are all mixed breeds.  I see that one of the lead dogs has two heads.  When my friend arrives we go to look for it and find it. Right next to it is a very large lead dog. It stands up and is huge. It is as big as a lama.

The Charred Office

Friday Mar 23, 2018
12;57 pm

The Charred Office

I am walking  through my office or my apartment. Everything has been burned, but not completely destroyed. All the things have been melded together and are all black.  I am not upset, more curious.

Notes. Day 3 of journaling 30 days in a row. I ha the same dream very recently. In the earlier version I was looking to see if the fire has solved a problem I was having. I wanted everything to be seamlessly jointed together.

What does the dream want? [Depending on the context of your dream, to see fire in your dream can symbolize destruction, passion, desire, illumination, purification, transformation, enlightenment, or anger] I need to purity and transform.

The Empty Hospital

Thursday 22, 2018
10:00 am

The Empty Hospital
I am walking down the street, there are three of us. We may be pushing a grocery cart or stroller. There may be a baby. It has the feel of being a street person because we are in the process of walking a fair distance. We have a destination in mind, I am leading us.

We are stopped by the police and questioned. I explain out circumstances and we go on our way.

We are getting very close to our destination and there is a blockage along side the road. We stop to rest and are confronted by the police, different ones, again.

I tell the officers that I used to work just around the corner and I know right were I am. They are not impressed. There is apparently a large drugstore just around the corner, close to where I used to work at the hospital. When I mention the hospital there faces take on a demeanor of respect and we are fine again.

We are now in the hospital. we are in a large room with a high ceiling and I as talking with a friend, a woman, I used to work with. The phone rings and I am trying to pick up the call. It is an old fashioned single line phone and the call won't go through. My friend has me take the call on the multiple button master phone and I begin to talk to my friend in England, Carole. We work through the confusion of why I am answering the phone, she needs to arrange for a large meeting place, it is not clear if she has business with the hospital.

My friend at the desk explains that the building is empty except for her and will be for some time. I tell Carole the circumstances and say the space will be no problem. I tell her all the hospital people will back in a week or so, but my friend shakes her head "no" with no explanation because I am still on the phone. I wake up.

Notes. Day 2 of 30 journaling days in a row. Had too much too much to drink last night, but still realized if I had asked "who am I now" I would have realized I was in a dream. Do this 10 time+ today.

What does the dream want? The major themes include career, respect, family responsibility, the employment insecurity in the wider public. I need to not be walking down the stree like a homeless person.

Wednesday
March 24, 2018
11:07 am

Reconfiguring My Office

[Snippet] I am in my office. I am working on slight changes to my computer system. There are three identical computer components. They each have two parts, a body the size of a glasses case and a small external part that attaches with the wires arranged in a specific pattern. I am consolidating the configuration.

There is a large circular water tank close to or in my office.

I am now outside the office with a friend. I have asked him to drop by and make sure the wires are connected properly. We are moving things into the office building. I am in a good mood and am singing. I hit a particularly note as we are going through some revolving doors.

Notes:  Day 1 of 30, post every day.

The water tank may be important. Emotions?  I have had dreams where water played a significant part before.  An earlier part of this dream was about water, possibly odd creatures in a pool.

What does the dream want? I could just be missing working with Charles (getting directions on how to o something right). If my emotions are in a tank...it is deep and clear...dive in? Examine? Live with as a part but separate part of me?

Early Morning Exploration [Lucid]

Tuesday: First Day of Spring

3/20/2018

2:10 pm

Early Morning Exploration  [Lucid] [S: Choline, Galantamine, Vervain] [SSILD]

I am suddenly exploring the back of my house (not my real house) in the early morning. Everything is extremely vivid and detailed. I instantly know I am dreaming. I look down at my hands and the end of my fingers are missing...yea!   I decide to explore and fly just above the ground. I make it around the corner and decide to go back to make sure I know how to get home. It is very early in the morning and there are no people around.  I go over a fence and am looking into the back of a cafe. I am concerned about entering without permission. The scene starts to fade and I consider trying to spin...the dreams ends before I can do anything to prolong it. 

Notes: Wow. It has been a long time since I have had a lucid dream. This was very intentional and very exciting. I had a very vivid non-lucid dream earlier in the evening.

[S: Choline 1500mg (3 tablets), Galantamine (8mg (2 tablets), Vervain, 1240mg (3 capsules)

[SSILD] Senses Induced Lucid Dreaming. Cycle thru sight, sound and touch after 5 hours of sleep.
http://howtolucid.com/senses-initiated-lucid-dream-ssild-technique/

Saw detailed green hypnogogic images. Had a mist over them. then got crystal clear and very detailed "design| I recreated them when I went back to sleep later, but no 2nd lucid dream.

Similar, but more like worked metal. 

What does the dream want? Not at all sure. Need to research interpretation of lucid dreams. 

It's All in the Details

Wednesday
3/7/18  10:30 am

It's All in the Details

I am paying very close attention to on how to finish a rounded surface, possibly a circular wall. There are no others objects in view. I am trying to make the smoothness of the wall perfect with one last pass, with some sort of tool. Each time I pass it is better, but not perfect. I try many slightly different techniques, never quite satisfied.  This dream repeats multiple times for I guess over an hour and then I go back into it for at least 30 minutes after briefly being awake.

Notes: I was going to dismiss it at mundane, but it persisted so long I felt I needed to write it down.

What does the dream want?  FINISH THE APARTMENT RENOVATION! Is there more? Don;t get bogged down in perfection....get things done.

The Pitcairn Man

Sunday February 18, 2018
9:50 am

The Pitcairn Man

I am living in a small sunny home that opens in the back onto ancient fields of grass with rows of stone. I am an adult but living with my mother [not a woman that I recognize when awake]. I make several trips to the fields and am discussing the origins of the rows of mostly flat stones that run in long rows parallel to the back of the house. They form gentle tiers sloping down as they get further away. They were made in ancient times for a specific purpose, that may still be a mystery.

Two men come to the house. We go to the back and again discuss the stone rows. The men are very menacing and directly threaten me and by implication my mother. I am frightened and do not know how to protect myself. I decide to invoke The Pitcairn Man. It is dangerous and there may be extreme violence, but he will take care of the threatening men.

I go in the house, my mother is asleep on the couch. I climb in next to her and pull over the cover. I am anticipating a quick and violent encounter for the strangers. Nothing happens immediately but I still have faith that The Pitcairn Man is coming to take care of business.

I am now walking down the street outside the house. The two men are arranging things in their vehicle. They have been hired to dig a precise hole in the ground. It may be a grave, they may or may not know the purpose of the hole. I tell them their job is going to be shorter than expected and will only last two days. I also instruct them to dig a second hole in the ground.

As I walk away I think the hole is to become their grave. They are complaining between themselves that if they knew the job was so short they may not have come.

I am now walking back to the house, there may be a gate on the left side of the house that I am considering entering and going into the back. I am surprised that nothing has happened yet but am still very confident that The Pitcairn Man will act soon. I wake.

Notes: All the scenes are very clear and bright. I feel fear in the dream but I am neutral when I wake. It strikes odd that the Term "Pitcairn Man" is so specific and I have no idea what it is.

What does the dream want? There is something very threatening to me and my family that will be taken care of by invoking an ancient power. I have been researching vipassana meditation retreats. It is a 10 day meditation retreat that is reported to be very difficult but powerful.  Is this encouragement to do it?


Vipassana Meditation
https://www.dhamma.org/en/vipassana

Vipassana Meditation. Vipassana, which means to see things as they really are, is one of India's most ancient techniques of meditation. It was rediscovered by Gotama Buddha more than 2500 years ago and was taught by him as a universal remedy for universal ills, i.e., an Art Of Living.

Pitcairn Island

Settled in 1790 by mutineers from the storied H.M.S. Bounty, Pitcairn Island is one of the British Empire’s most isolated remnants, a mystical hunk of rock that was largely ignored until 1996. Then Pitcairn’s secret was exposed: generations of rape and child molestation as a way of life. Delving into the South Pacific island’s past, the authors chronicle its 10-year clash with the British legal system, which ripped apart a tiny society.

The Disappointing Revelation

Thursday February 8, 2017 [Big Dream]
10:48 am

The Disappointing Revelation

I am with someone who is slowly revealing to me a series of special objects that they have collected just for me.  They each have special significance, but the last is the key to my future. A pair of colorful bedazzling treasures precede the final gift. They are turquoise with shinny tiny mirrors. I am amazed at their beauty. The last special token is revealed. It is an over sized artist paint brush. It has a brown unfinished wooden handle and round tip.

My immediate reaction in the dream is huge disappointment and sadness. I have tried being a visual artist. I have no talent. WTF.

Notes: When I wake I realize the dream may not be literal (duh!). If a brush is the most important think right now, may it is the brush work I need to do at the Thompson Apartments. Maybe it is not being an artist, it is completing a commitment, reach a level of financial security and get on with my life.

Or....and....maybe I should revisit my artist expression side. When looking for a picture of the brush in the dream I found a watercolor brush (Silver Brush) site that insipred me to consider painting dream scrapes in water color.

What does the dream want?

1. Finish Thompson apartments. Sell them. Be smart with my money. Cary on.
2. Explore becoming a water color artist painting dreamscapes.
3. Pan-American motorcycle trip expansion.  Combine Lucid Dreaming, Guns and Art as part of the trip. Guns only in the US.

Note: The Pan-American Highway is a network of roads measuring about 30,000 kilometers (19,000 mi)[2] in total length. Except for a rain forest break of approximately 160 km (100 mi), called the Darién Gap, the road links almost all of the Pacific coastal countries of the Americas in a connected highway system. According to Guinness World Records, the Pan-American Highway is the world's longest "motorable road". However, because of the Darién Gap, it is not possible to cross between South America and Central America with conventional highway vehicles. Without an all-terrain vehicle, it is necessary to circumnavigate this terrestrial stretch by sea.

The Polar Bear Flush

Wednesday January 31, 2017
2:01 am

The Polar Bear Flush [Prophetic]?

I am having a relationship with a polar bear. I am surrounded by bright light and soft fur. Suddenly Ii am flushed down an ice cavern from a fluid coming from the bear. I am swept down and down and stop deep in a cavern. I begin to ascend, considering the close call, and a much bigger stream (while clear it comes from inside the bear) sweeps me deeper and deeper. I am going to drown or be trapped in the ice, I wake in a panic.

Notes: I had a similar dream fragment recently. As I wake I think, does Cindy want to "flush me", end the relationship? I then remember the pending decision whether to sink more money into the Thompson Apartments. The big risk is the septic system. Flush the toilets, flush my profits.

What does the dream want?  Sell now or find a way to test and deter the septic system failing.

Epic Dream on Campus

Thursday
8:02 am

Epic Dream on Campus

1. I am finishing a dark mysterious run with the track team. We emerge from running in the jungle. I feel fully engaged, curious, amazed by being so physical.

2. New equipment arrives. I am looking through the last of the new jerseys. They are a shell with soft linings for running in cool weather. Long sleeve with slight v-neck. I see size 12, then 16. I am trying to figure out what the sizes mean. Size does matter, I pick a jersey I think will fit Cindy. I also geet purple running shoes. I reflect for a moment and can not remember the two things I am doing - or picking up are.

I discuss with Cindy the selection I have made for her. She says she may be less interested in running and may have something else in mind.

3. I am sitting at a long table outside with the team. I introduce myself to a team member. I ask him about the salt crystals all over our skin. Is it safe? He starts explaining and then launches into a dramatic expansive performance (like a Broadway production). When it is over, I comment to another team member that I still do not know the answer to the question.

4. I am mulling over joining the team with one of the members. He goes over all the logistics, emails, etc.that are required. We are discussing the leadership style of the team leader. He is inspiring but very loose. I decide to join.

5. I am in a car with Cindy and two other women.  She is yelling at me for something.I hold her shoulders, look her in the eyes and say we love eah other and don't need to argue.

6.I am with an old female friend. He leans over to kiss my cheek and I move an kiss her lips. She comments that Cindy has been challenged to deal with me. I realize that this is a very different perspective than my own.

7. I am waling up hill following other team members on a winding route through campus.  I am not only joining the team but am going back to school full time. I am elated with the decision even though there is lots of uncertainty.

8. In the middle of my elation I find myself inside a building. The climb is over. Some of the team are exiting the building to the right - they are going outside down a long flight of wooden stair. I am uncertain to stay inside and turn to the left or follow them down and to the right. I realize I do not remember where I am or where I am going. I wake sad and confused.

Notes: Elated that I could remember the dream so well (so many scenes) I wake feeling lost and confused immediately afterwords I a feel elated, cheerful and fully engaged.

What does the dream want?

• treat Cindy better
• do more exercise
• embrace new directions with unknown challenges and solutions.
• join a team
• be mindful- do not let myself become lost and confused.
• Dream more!!!
• Get back into email

The Ordeal [Explicit]

Thursday January 25, 2017
10:50am

The Ordeal

I am talking with a gang member, I am the leader. He tells me another leader has officially challenged me to an ordeal for leadership. The governing rules are arcane. Every potential leader is in a predetermined matrix of succession. It will take 20 years for the match to take place. It will involve mechanical devices and anal sex.

Notes: Variations of this dream persist for several hours. I am surprised at its persistence.

What does the dream want? Primary change in the way I run my life. Change now or be fucked in the ass at the end.

White Dwarf Inspector/Destroyer (Big Dream)

Tuesday January 16, 2017
8:00am

Incubation: Please offer help on my way forward

White Dwarf Inspector/Destroyer [Big Dream]

I am gleefully angry in mad dwarf waiting in line to enter a large modern estate. I am with someone, it may be a robot.I am passing a concrete bollard, designed to stop cars. I demonstrate the destructive power of my flail, by striking and demolishing the structure. Everything is white. My clothes, my flail, the house exterior and interior.

The house is very modern, minimalist and elegant with all right angles and furniture built into the architecture. I have used my flail in the past to demolish much of the house. As part or reconstruction? The owners are home. I am joyfully anticipating the strategic destruction of the house by striking key structures and supports.

I hesitate and decide it is too beautiful to destroy. I wake grateful but puzzled.

Notes: I have been up very late, after 4:00am. I am contemplating being broke and needing to talk with my wife about finances and our relationship. I have been procrastinating the conversation.

What does the dream want?  Don't blow up my marriage. I have been considering divorce as an extreme option. Part of me has been trying to destroy my marriage by knocking at the foundations, financial stability/money. My shadow wants me to fail, to not be loved.  I need a plan to let this option go.

Extraordinary Efforts, Soul Revival

Saturday January 6, 2018

10:39am

Extraordinary Efforts

I am in the bedroom of a strangers house. There is a father, a son and a grandfather. They are working diligently on reviving a pet fish. The tank is laid out in many pieces and each is being attended to. The fish is on the floor as one of the pieces. I am looking very attentively at the proceedings. When the father turns to look at me I apologize for entering his home unannounced, he dismisses it and our attention returns to the fish and its tank apparatus. 

The grandfather explains that when they purchased the fish they had to sign an agreement to keep it alive at all costs. The father says if they knew it would take this much effort, they may have not gotten it to begin with.

The son is largely a spectator and is playing with something else. I tell him that I have an idea for something that would be a lot of fun. It is a self contained set of toys that is in a box with a handle. I explain that we launch it from a balloon and it lands next to Jordan Lake. I lift the box and it is very heavy. The whole enterprise is fairly impressive. 

Notes: The dream was very rich in detail. I woke in the night and started to read Robert Moss's Way of the Dreamer. It is amazing. My future?

Beware Virtual Reality

Friday January 10, 2018
10:11

Beware Virtual Reality

I an watching an interview and self reflection of a man in a room There may be others, it might be me, but it is a character I do not recognize. I am examining my virtual memories to try and figure out a technical problem. I am having some success. But my attention comes back into the room I realize the actual cost of the new technology. The loss of contact with "reality". Later I imagine a room full of young people all with VR headgear on and no idea of what is actually going on.

Notes: I am concerned that if I become lucid in a dream with an abstract or missing background I may be unable to escape.