Dreamed of Doing Violence

 I had a series of short dream while napping...I am walk back to the car with Cindy. I am holding many things and having trouble jugling them. Cindy takes one fron from me and I freak out. If you want a devorce keep this up fir a week...no just for the rest of the day. I drop all the things I am carying then grab be nipple and other breast thru her shirt and twist it them to casue pain, all while yelling, is this what you want?!!

Notes: Not good.

Looked up "Look what you made me do". Got this.

Behind the Meaning

I don’t like your little games

Don’t like your tilted stage

The role you made me play of the fool

No, I don’t like you

Like with any Swift track, she doesn’t come right out and say what this song is about. We have to surmise for ourselves why Swift dished out this searing berate. Given the time period, we have to assume the “you” in this track is referring to Kanye West, and/or Kim Kardashian.

The pair turned Swift’s career on its head when they accused her of lying about not knowing West was going to include the line I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex / Why? I made that bitch famous in one of his songs. Now we know that the video “evidence” West produced left out the piece that proved Swift’s innocence. Nevertheless, at the time, Swift got hit hard on social media for “lying” and “attempting to make herself a victim.”

This song takes aim at West and Kardashian for their little games. The role you made me play of the fool, she sings in the opening verse. In the pre-chorus, she starts to gain back some of her confidence, singing, But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time / Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time.

The chorus seems to blame West and Kardashian for their role in making Swift develop a harder, less naive version of herself. That sentiment is further fleshed out in the bridge: I’m sorry / But the old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now / Why? Oh, ’cause she’s dead.

Beautiful Young Redhead at the Launtramat

Cindy and I are walking and we go to a local unique business. There are many things going on there. It's obviously been there for a long time and it's a community center in the sense that many different people are there. 

I reach in my pocket and I have an unusual key. It's very flat and wide. It's barely recognizable as a key and I see that there is a man working on a machine to duplicate keys and I wait in line to talk to him about it. Whilel I'm waiting an elderly woman suddenly starts making a scene and fussing and she may be mentally ill. Everybody takes it in stride but the transaction gets interrupted 

I'm now looking through a window, an open window with no glass and into room of senior citizens. They are all laughing and conversing sitting at tables like in a cafe. I come to understand that they are part of a movie or they have been part of a movie and it's all local amateur production but everybody is happy and having fun 

As I leave I see a beautiful young woman with shoulder length straight brilliant red hair. We start to talk, I realize that I've known her before. She says that since we met she's had the baby and they were twins and I am surprised and happy for her. I feel that we were close but maybe just a single encounter, not necessarily physical. While we're talking there's a guy laying down on the ground very casually interrupting this conversation and starts talking about random stuff in his life and her life. I kind of think that he may be the father of the kids and he's an asshole. I leave but want to communicate with her again and attempt to write my number down on a piece of paper but it's very difficult and I can't complete the task. 

We are now outside in a big open field. Rory is with us and I'm watching Cindy walk back to the car. I'm trying to catch up with her because it turns out the business we were in was also a laundromat and she's going back to the car to get the laundry but it's a long walk I am following her so I can help get the laundry. 

I'm looking across the field but very close and there is a very large cat the size of a mountain lion and I'm suddenly scared. Thet I realize it's got long hair like a house cat I'm also afraid. But right next to it what comes up is a giant prehistoric looking beast and starts coming for me. I get into a fetal position on the ground and the beast grabs me by the scuff of the neck and starts carrying me around. I don't know if he's going to play with me or eat me. I wake up afraid but mostly amazed at the clarity of the detail in the dream.

Notes: I woke amazed at the detail and clarity of the dream.

What does the dream want? Connect with a redhead?

Reality check: Didn't take long. Met my new trainer at the gym, a stunning redhead. Not as pure red and stunning as the dream, but damn.

Bumper sticker: Watch for the magic

Dream to Action: Doing it, just need to kick ass for 12 weeks!

The Quangle Wrangle's Hat

The Quangle Wrangle's Hat

I suddenly realize I am just minutes away from being late to class. I start running even though I know it's very far away. I arrive at class as it's starting. I notice that I'm not winded at all (dream sign).  

My seat is in a very large circular auditorium. I look around and notice almost everyone in the class except me is black.  I consider this and think it's a easy class to get an A in, low academic requirements, and that's why everyone's taking. While I'm sitting there, a dog comes up to me and says hello.I noticed that it's shape and confirmation are shifting while I'm looking at it (dream sigh), but still it's very friendly. I say hello and pet him.

While I'm noticing that all the other students are black I'm also realizing how beautiful and attractive many of the young black women are.

I'm now still in the classroom but at the very bottom of a large gorge, looking up to the lecturer who I've become fascinated with but I only experience as an almost disembodied  very deep voice.  I get a sense of deep wisdom but don't understand any of the words.

I'm, I'm looking from below a large stone wall that I'm considering sitting on.There's a woman next to me, very attractive black woman. She is professionally dressed, older She looks like she could be a partner in a law firm.

I make my way up a steep hill over the stone wall and onto a balcony that looks like it might be outdoor seating for a restaurant.  The whole time. I'm getting a better view of the lecturer who appears to be an old black man perched in the branches of a very large tree. He has a large wide brim hat.

As I am finding my seat I see that many other people are doing the same thing I'm doing and getting closer and closer and filling that space next to him.

I am now very excited about the course content. I'm talking to one of the teacher's aides after the lecsure. We're going to some detail about what it is goning take me to catch up because I missed the first class or 2. He says essentially I just need to do some reading. Then the teacher's aid asked me if I can help and I see that there's a mess on the floor and I said do you need me to mop? I'm very good at mopping.

I am now at a small gathering of students after the class out side.  A young black woman (same one I noticed before?) has something that was used in the lecture. It's 3 or more feet long and a couple of feet wide. It looks like a giant piece of steak. When I touch it, however, it's very light weight and it's obviously a plastic version of steak used likely as a stage prop. We are discussing the prop and I volunteer to take it back although no one is clear on where it came from. I say I've parked all the way across campus.  And between the drama department and some others I should be able to find a home for it.

I'm rustling with the bag of meat in my preparation to walk across campus and Patty, and John Cogswell come over and she points out that I need to flip the bag over. I've been struggling with something that is now attached to the bag, which is mechanical and has something to do with the way you zip it up and store it.

I'm still incredibly enthusiastic about the next opportunity to join the class even after I have woken up and gone back to sleep. I still don't seem to realize it's a dream. 

I am now speaking with 2 black women. One is more mature than others and is with a young student. They could be mother and daughter. The daughter is talking to her mother and is not sure if she should tell me something, and she's consulting with her mother. When she finally tells me it's that when she first saw me, she thought I was a nerd.  My emotional response is to embrace that and actually enjoy it.

Notes: Even before I write down the dream and formally try to interpret it I am getting lots of ideas. The first is that I've long wanted to be more immersed in black culture. The only way I've experienced that is in bars and it would be nice to do something similar to it in a more intellectual environment. 

The next obvious association is my general thirst for knowledge.

I'm also reminder of my early experience with black people. My first recolection of seeing a black person when we moved to Washington DC. It was literally like something from outer space or another dimension.

I also remember the maid in my cousin's house, Elsie, who lived in a tiny room in the basement.  I need to ask my cousin Mimi if there was a window of that room.I don't remember one,

A call to action is to immerse myself or at least experience being the only white person in a room, but where the idea is intellectual no just drinking or music or religion. 

Synchronistically, I just read a article about a senior black physicist (Walter E. Massey) who started in Mississippi and had a whole ark to his career that included running universities and being on boards like McDonald's. 

I was excited to take this dream to dream group then I realized it would be mostly egotistically. What the dream is telling me is pretty obvious or at least there's a lot of leads so I don't really need someone else's interpretation to get benefit from the dream.

My biggest observation is how detailed and complex the dream was. How I remembered multiple segments easily. I told myself cause it's been a while since I've had marijuana and I need to continue that. (Less than a week)

A I was thinking about the wise man in the tree I recalled a childhood poem, had to look it up in Childcraft.  The Quangle Wangle's Hat by Edward Lear

from The Quangle Wangle's Hat by Edward Lear

Morphing Bodies in Hospital

 I am in a hospital. There are large sheets of whites hanging haphazard fron the ceiling creating a maze. There is a woman I am becoming intimate with. She falls to the ground and after a liquid falls on he she desolves under a pile of white robes.

There is a male doctor that asks me if I know of a secret roo behind the gold circle. He points out a gold circle ona distant wall and says behind it a room but it is hard to find.

I embark on the journey and indeed it is twisty, dark and confuaing, I end up in a bright room with another man. At some point she grabs me and his boby has deformed with large flabby shelves of fat. Two other men have similar deformaies that have emerged.

I wake frightened.

Too Much Power?

I am falling in and out of sleep after an intense dream. I am trying to rapidly get back into the dream state and feel I am close. At the same time I wonder/dream if there is real magic and if this is the way into it. It is too dangerous and that is why it is difficult?

Food for thought.

Royal Court Grants Land in the Park

 I am watching a court proceedings. I have just won a judgement and awarded a piece of land in a park. It has been used for a good while by numbers of people. The primary activity is to just stand in smalls froups on a floating platform, with low sides. Like a walkom barge.

There was a test as part of the case when the barge was left to drift in a small lake. It was awarded the victory and for a year the land has been granted to this purpose. 

Moving Day

 I am standing by the side of a gravel road watch three large truck/busses roll by. They are associasted with moving to a new home. I follow them down the road and as I get close I go into a home next to ours. The is rain or water falling into the kitchen.

As I enter the house my wife or simialr person is show me around. The home is already set up, it is just me that is just ariving. I am in a large room with risers and there is a large group of people plaiuing nealy idendical instrument, some like a lute/guitar, ithey are electric It is a very large group lesson or concert.

I am getting increasingly anxious as I remember I am going to be late for school. Then I realize and shout out, I don't need to go to school, I have a Masters Degree.

We go to an upstairs bedroom and it is nearly empty. The is a youg woman, preteen, lying on the floor mostionless. The admosphere is strange. It is not clear whose child this is. There is a convoluted back story that involves the neighbor and there may be more coming. I feel sexual urges.

Notes:  Very vivid. I often have dreams where I am in school or owrk and am imcompetent. I took this as a possitive idea that I had a Masters Degree.

What does the dream want? For me to move into a new phase of my life that includes being competent and playing an instrument.

Reality Check: The dream images were very realistic, the plot, not so much.

Bumper Sticker: Move On!

Dreams to Action: Go forward with the guitar and everything else.

Three Brides at a Wedding

 I am at a wedding celebration, my own. I have introduced a young woman, who is not my birde, but I am sort of introducing her as my bride. A joke? I am now introducing my true bride. An then I find myself introducing a third person, obviouly a joke as my bride. Everyone is dismayed and confused.

I come in and out of this dream for some time. It is now a Tik Tok that has gone viral. I look into it and it turn out a group of kids have stiched it or respomded in a way that made it all get millions of views. The people in the wedding have been replaced with farm animals and pets as the characters. It is really funny.