Denuded Angels

Monday May 21, 2018
12:36 pm

Denuded Angels

Two large dark winged figures are dynamically intertwined. With each touch the extraneous parts of their beings fall away. Their wings disappear, not torn off, just shed. They continue until each reaches a dark minimalist form.

A single dark man goes through a similar transformation. The details of  his outward appearance dissolve until he is left as a featureless form.

This pattern repeats many times through many cycles of consciousness and sleep.

Notes: Listed to Mysticism: A Study in the Nature and Development of Man's Spiritual Consciousness by Evelyn Underhill driving home from DC last night. The concept of getting to truth below our senses was central.

I woke briefly at 8:30 am and went in and out of sleep with these images persisting until 11:30 am.

What does the dream want? For me to get down to my essence.

Chased on the Base

Thursday May 19, 2018
10:34 am

Chased on the Base (Full circle fear)

I am with one or two others and running through some light cover in the dark. We are trying to avoid detection. We are on a military or security base. I may have been one of the agents but have switched sides and am being hunted.

The chase continues, but now I am on a motorcycle. We have sophisticated machines and are feeling pretty good

Many years have passed and I am traveling to a small town in a modest car. I am feeling relaxed and happy. I enter an upscale restaurant in a fancy standalone building. I see that this is the new and expanded version of a place I used to visit years ago. I want to say hello to some old friends but can only look at them and possible be recognized.  It is too risky to actually talk.

I am in the basement of a large office building. I am about to leave when I recognized a man that was one of the lead people searching for me years before. I try and leave without being spotted, but he ends up in the elevator with me, saying nothing with no eye contact.

Even though he is not following me directly, I feel trapped and afraid. It has all begun again. I see and feel the image of a dark entrance to a  cave or culvert.

Notes: I went dark to sleep several times and the dream persisted. I woke afraid and depressed.

What does the dream want?  For me to get unstuck, trapped, etc. On some level I may blame others for my need to be underground.

Shakori Shamanic Journeying

Saturday May 5, 2018
8:00 pm

Shakori Shamanic Journeying

I am doing my second round of a 15 minute shamanic drumming introduction. We are in the Healing Arts section of the Shakori Hills festival. I am skeptical, because even though I had a powerful initial experience with our guide, the music is so loud from two surrounding stages, I can barely hear hear him. I have already had the orientation earlier so I am content to go on.  Our drummer suggests we have an intention for each journey, mine is to meet a guide that will help me get back into this special state of consciousness at will. I am laying on a yoga mat in a circle with other travelers. Michael, our host, is in the center, our heads are all in the center of the circle as well, we are laying on our backs.  He offers a brief introduction and suggests we starting the journey with our active imaginations and see what happens...

I am paddling in open water toward the source of the lake I am on, a small stream that emerges from the deep woods. I paddle up stream into the dark forest with massive primitive trees on the shore. As the water gets too shallow to navigate, I pull the canoe to the shore and continue up stream through the woods. I see the stream emerge from a cave and I enter. I now see that I have been following a virgin spring to its source. I come to open cavern, the spring falling down in a small water fall into a natural stone pond.  I think to myself, I do not need to have anything else happen to me. I have ventured into the heart of the mystery of the world. I am content. The drum gets louder and I can feel the air pressure on my chest. The sound, vibration and pressure are mesmerizing. I then have an epiphany..".The Heart of the Mystery of the World is my Heart"

He brings us slowly back to the setting. I realize that I had completely tuned out the loud music during my shamanic journey. I am filled with joy.

Notes: I felt   strong sense of synchronicity as I am reading Robert Moss's book on soul retrieval through shamanic drumming. Quite the gift.

What does the dream want?  For me to know I have everything I need at all times. I can always literally listen and feel my heart as a way to be centered and connected. My heart beat is at the center of all things.

The Tour Guide

Monday April 30, 2018
11:08 am

The Tour Guide (Pre-Lucid) Finding My Way While Leading Others

I am in a large facility. I have a group of people I am trying to get through a tour or challenge that is complex and difficult.

I am with a young participant, we are nude in the shower. I willfully but very gently take her hands an put then on my penis. I then slowly manipulate her hands to begin to get me excited.

We are working our way down a mountain. Some are falling to the way side, but there is no death or sadness. I wake and do not move.

Notes: I named the dream and started to recall several scenes with in the dream. I woke briefly went back to sleep for an hour or so and still remembered it when I woke the second time. I took too long to write it down. The erotic shower scene was very close to full consciousness.

What does the dream want?: That I should lead others while I find my way. That I get better at lucid dreaming!

Dreaded NDR

Monday  Apr 10, 2018
6:00 pm

Dreaded NDR

Black Hole

Notes: Day 21 of 30 consecutive days journaling,

Multiple Dreams [S: Choline, Galantamine, Vervain]

Monday Apr 9, 2018
11:00 am

The Party (Going to an orgy with my wife)

The Party Gate (Being a Scofflaw)

I am at the the rear of a large house party. They is a gate in a tall fence being manned. I am with Cindy and decide to crash the party She is reluctant to enter and I go around front with an intention of coming back to get her.

In the Party

I am walking through a large lavish house with many people lounging around in various states of undress. It is basically a huge house party orgy. I am looking at several interesting women but do not engage with anyone.  I meet up with Cindy. She is very energetic and super sexually charged. I think it must be speed. She tells me she has no feelings for me. I say we should divorce and I get a $1M. Once I get that out, I calm down and continue the conversation. I am willing to become a cuckold and use my small penis and a "pointer" for others who are well endowed. I then tell her I really love her and we should be able to work something out.

Women Talking

While waling around the party I am standing next to a small group of women who are topless. On of them is likely pregnant and has young breasts with very long nipples. I state at them and notice at one point she has put small band aids over them but the have lipped to the side.

The Official Entry Gate Into the Pary

I am watching as a long line of men and women are making their way into the party. They are being questioned and then let in. The men are hyper masculine like German Vikings. Some of the women are submissive. But as they are let in they change into chill party goers.

The New Camper's First Day

Fucking the Game Board

I am milling around a group of campers. I am not talking but in some way communicating with a being next to me. It is short and likely not human. We are both working at a game that goes up the wall. There are elaborately carved interactive wooden characters and devices. They all work together like a dynamic puzzle. I take my dick out and start manipulating the game. I manage to have interactions all the way up the wall. It releases a model boat carried up by balloons. It rises slowly to the ceiling where I see other similar crafts. The is how you win the game, others have done so earlier.

Going Through my New Camper Special Items

I an going through a one-on-one new camper orientation with a male councilor. There are several items were are going through one by one. They are all odd and unique. There is a map and he tells me I will need to find the river. I panic because I can not find the map for a moment. I grab at a pile of things meant for the next camper and knock them over. The counselor is exasperated with me. I then realize that I already know where the river is because I have been to the valley before, actually several times.

Notes: Day 20 of 30 consecutive days of journaling. [S: Choline 2 tabs x 500mg, Galantamine 2 tabs x 4mg, Vervain 2 capsule x 360mg] Too much to interpret all, but picked two items that stood out. Definitely get a boost from the supplements, just not certain lucidity.

What does the dream want? Two items of many: For me to really work something out to return intimacy to my marriage. To return to being more in touch with my emotions (the river).

The Publics

Sunday Apr 8, 2018
8:30 am

The Publics 

I am leaving a large modern office building onto a busy street with lots of pedestrians. I see two unusually small people, a woman and a man. They look homeless. My heart goes out to the woman and I hug her. The man gets upset and is rude to her. I tell him it's not like that.

We are back in the office and everyone is excitedly talking with them.  They are now regular size and may both be girls. They have no family. One of the girls said they emerged from the woods 20 years ago. I thought...you're teens, how did you do something 20 years ago?

They call themselves "The Publics" and are getting famous. I ask if we can get pictures with them and they say no. they want to not be recognized by their pictures, just by people they have actually met.

Notes: Day 19 of 30 consecutive days of journaling.

What does the dream want?  I have no idea.