An Unlearned Lesson at the Candy Counter

I am in a large outdoor venue with friends. The event has just ended and we are making our way back to our cars to leave. Somehow I have been left with no transportation home and I'm considering hitchhiking.

I am making my way down a hill across the lawn and encounter a difficult area to negotiate. I analyze the land of land and make a decision so they don't get muck all over my shoes. I feel good about the decision and now back on the sidewalk.

I'm still trying to figure my way out and walk by a large architectural installation. There is an old area of very large sculptures and a more recent addition that are very tall and thin archways. Am I also looking ahead to my destination and see that there's a gap between where I am and where I want to go and contemplate jumping it. As I get closer I see that there is a walkway and that that idea was absurd. I am now right next to the archway and there is a young man playing with it. He's basically shaking it back and forth and while it's very tall possibly multiple stories it's just dry stacked stone and is wobbling. I asked him what he would do to improve the stability of the structure. He says add four stones. I discuss this with him and his parent and we mentioned that that would hardly be enough to stabilize it. We looked next to it and the huge old installation has large metal rods going back to stabilize it into the hill.

I am now at a very crowded candy counter and I've been separated from the people that I am with and was hoping to get a ride home with. There is an elderly woman working behind the counter. She's very nicely dressed. Something that would be stylish in the 1950s for mature woman. I asked for milk studs and then ask at their other options like milk dogs with something else. She says yes but she's uncertain of the price of the package and that that she can ask the management. I'm still hoping to negotiate a ride home so I say no that would take too long and say this in a way that is short and blunt, basically rude. I mentioned something about incompetence and immediately see that I have hurt her feelings. I mean  forward to look behind the counter and see that there are no prices marked on any of the candy. Aramark that the incompetence is not on her part but then part the people who set the stand up and expected them to remember the prices of all the items.

At this point I don't know if I'm dreaming or if I'm awake and just contemplating the situation. I tell her that not only is she not been incompetent but she's been very pleasant and helpful. At the same time I acknowledge that I have been rude and that the damage is already done. I compare it to running over someone's cat with a car and then apologizing. I've been in this situation more than once and every time I do it I feel like there's a lesson to be learned but I don't learn it. In order to truly learn it I would never be rude to another person regardless of the circumstances. It never turns out to be a good idea.

This thought turns into a contemplation of my new job that I will be dealing with lots of kids that are beyond rude likely violent in some situations. How the stress of modern life is made everything difficult. Reminds me of my encounter with the employee at Dunkin donuts. I think I did handle that well. We were waiting in line forever at the drive-thru and instead of getting angry I was more contemplative. When I got to the window I asked her if she was running the place by herself she said no but they were short-handed and couldn't get people to work.. she said the work was too stressful especially in the summer when there were crowds. I wondered to myself that work was so stressful here in the Adirondacks something is truly amiss.

Notes: Half dream, half post dream contemplation, back to dream?

What does the dream want? For me be prepared for the onslaught from the Mountain Lake Academy. Life goal...never be rude again.

Reality check: Being attached by kids will be challenging...rewarding?  Teach by example.

Bumper sticker: Being Rude is Never a good Idea

Dreams to action: My desires or beliefs do not entitle me to be rude, abusive or violent to others because they do not see the world as I do.

Hubris: The luckiest guy in the world gets really angry

I am with my family and we are entering a crowded movie theater. Is very popular and we're in a large crowd as we are working our way in the front doors of the theater. I look down and see a quarter on the ground, this happens to me often. As I've been down to pick up the quarter I realized it's part of several coins. Some bigger than quarters then bigger than silver dollar s then bigger than any coin I've ever seen. As I'm picking them up some one of my family I believe my nephew is standing next to me and is picking some up too but I'm grabbing most of them. I realize that they are layered and sheets of paper and there's some information on the paper. I imagine it's some sort of sales gimmick that somehow got dropped in this on the street. It's not just on the street it's like a little hole you actually have to lean over to get into it.

Gathering up all of these coins has taken some time and we are now late at getting into the movie. I'm following my nephew into the movie house but he is taking us around the side and we are coming in from the side and I realize that my wife has all the tickets and that everybody else is already gone ahead and we don't know where they are. In addition to that since we've come into the side if they're waiting for us in the front they're not going to see us. I'm distracted as I'm walking through the lobby by all of the offerings of soda and candy and I think about getting something. But I keep moving and ask where is the front door. I'm so agitated I almost shouted out in the crowd. I'm having difficulty finding the front door I'm confused about exactly where we are in the theater and I think get my phone see if they texted us. I tell Paul to do the same thing. I take my phone out of my pocket and it's like there's an old iPhone centered in the middle of my phone case it doesn't come close to fitting the case. I stare at it and I'm totally confused. I then realize someone has stolen my phone and replaced it with this joke. I've been realized the whole coin thing was not luck but a ruse and I was totally sucked into it. My emotions have gone from feeling really lucky to being stressed about finding my way to the seats to now being incredibly angry. 

I am back out in front of the theater. I am explaining to anyone who will listen what has happened and I am getting angrier and angrier. All of the coins have found their way into a pouch in my pocket and I pour them out and explain to people what happened. I shout why can't the police send a signal to the phone and blow those f****** up. After my explanation I'm picking up all the coins and putting them back in the pouch. I realize there's a second pouch next to mine that's also filled with coins and I wonder where that came from. I imagine that my nephew filled that one up at some point and so I just take it and pour it into mine. With all the coins in the pouch it barely fits I'm having difficulty pushing them into the pouch. There may also be a small metal object that is not even a coin that I've stuffed into the pouch as well.

As I'm standing there One of the people in the crowd ask Liam who is standing next to me, are you from here? Instead of answering he looks shy seems to be thinking about it somewhat confused and is mostly quiet. I butt in the conversation and say he's from here I've known him for 20 years. he might be slightly confused because he moved here from Wisconsin when he was young and still has family there.

I was so angry it woke me up. As I was half awake I was still angry about having my phone stolen and how expensive it was going to be to replace it. As I return to waking consciousness I realized it was a dream how foolish and what an ass had been in the dream. So my emotions went to embarrassment and shame.

Notes/Dream Sign: it is rare that a dream seems so real that it persists as I awake. That for ce was propelled by the intensity of the emotions. There were several distinct dream signs. The oversize coins, there were multiple stands in the movie theater for soda and what not. They were way oversized and they were way too many of them. The phone that have been replaced in my pocket was not realistic. It was like a miniature phone and totally exaggerated the difference between the size of the phone and the case. The scene jump from being essentially trapped in the theater not being able to find the front entrance to being outside again talking to strangers about my ordeal.

What does the dream want? With the subtlety of a hammer to the head the dream wants me to be less focused on money. This is very insightful in light of my new job. I've been very focused on the money because I've been under financial pressure. But the job is working with troubled young men and to say that the young men are more important than the money is beyond obvious.

Reality check: This is so like me I almost go back into a additional cycle of anger at myself for being such an ass. I even reflect on how I have been an ass and embarrass my wife on more than one occasion.

Bumper sticker: Chase the money miss your life.

Dreams to action: use the new job to get your finances to get my finances squared away and then get back to doing what's important in my life. Helping others.

Sailing Out of a CD Sale (Not interpreted)

I am on a warehouse store but the shelves are bare. I know I am at  CD sale. Most of the space is blocked off and empty. I am surrounded by large wooden display shelves with wide sloping surfaces. I ask if the sale is over and they confirm that yrs it just ended.  The the man I asked  consults with others I assume are the owners and .l says they will extend the sale for me for exactly 20 minutes. I say I will synchronize my watch but then reallize it is precisrly 3:00 so I won't need to. I am concerned I may be broke and consider being embarrassed if they keep the store open and I get nothing. 

Suddenly I an on a sailboat and am in a race with another boat. I shout out in stereotypical pirate talk. The other captain is pissed and says I am using the ten-o-nine code and swiftly passes me with a full head of steam. He smiles a sarcastic smile and statrs he was quite the bard in college. 

I am now in the bow of his ship moving quickly through a room filled with typical bedroom furniture. I am very motivated to show the captain I can adeptly navigate the obstacles by pushing against them. I am quite pleased with my efforts and awake happy with my efforts and with a clear memory of the dream. 

Multiple Dreams (not interpreted)

Hidden Power

I am observing and discussing power with another man. Long lines of equipment band provisions have been hidden in plain sight. They are military supplies. They are all controlled by a single woman. I just get a general image of her. Her image is dark with long glowing hair. Her power is direct, strong and based on energy or thought.

The Loss of Power

Several dream scenes later after waking and returning to sleep I am dreaming of the same woman. In just a few seconds I see her power fade away. There does not seems to be any external force effecting her. In a New York minute it is all gone.

Invention Pitches

I am part of a team doing street repairs in a neighborhood. We are repairing some advanced technology and represent a big tech form like Google. As we are working different neighbors bring us inventions they have been working on at home. The one I am most impressed with is demonstrated on something that looks like a chess board. It is a solid dark form that morphs into something thin and moves by itself onto another surface he is holding. It reforms into the original object. I am impressed with the solidity of the object and its textured surface. 

Procrastination + Black and White

Procrastination

I am with a group of friends/coworkers. We identify a list of 5 increasingly complex tasks. The first and simplest one may be cooking pizza.

I analyze the requirements in detail and in the order they need to be done. At some point I stay concentrating on appearances more that actually getting the jobs done. I precisely stage things so it looks like I have gotten a lot done and  right in the middle of finishing up then I watch TV waiting for their return.

Notes: As I awake I am surprised at the combination of ingenuity and deceit. 

What does the dream want? For me to get shit done.

Reality check: Planning to doing ration way too real.

Bumper sticker: Plan don't sham

Dreams to action: Clean the fucking house!!!

Black and White

I am passing in and out of the dream state. I am having a very distinct physical and emotional experience but it is very difficult to fully understand. 

I feel my body is in two states that are directly connected like two sides of a coin. But the connection is nonphysical but is an integral part of my bring. There are two aspects and they change as I reenter the dream but the essence is the same.

There is "me" and a black person. It is not black vs white, just that there is an aspect of my being that is a black person. I can feel the connection between the two sides of myself as tiny points on the surface of my skin. When nearly awake at some point I think they may be bug bites (I have many recent ones). The more awake I am the less sense it makes. The more in the dream state the more real I feel in precise physical sensations. 

I awake amazed and curious. 

Notes: It went well beyond dream logic into dream sensation. Especially the blending of waking physical sensation, bug bites, and the physical sensation of the connections between the two aspects of myself.

Reality check: I often wonder how I can bridge the gap between me and blacks. Maybe I just need to go deeper in myself.

Bumper sticker: You are what you fear.

Dream to action: Quit wondering how do they feel and ask how would I feel.

The Matrix (Supplement insights)

 I am walking through a series of events that at first seem endless and random. I am witnessing and participating in what may be a religious ceremony. Pairs of young women are being blessed/processed in a production line of pairs of participants. They are wearing highly stylized garb that makes them almost look like dolls.  Two-by-two  they are being brought to a higher level on a stage and being brought into the fold. The outfits where shaped like Russian stacking dolls but were more Japanese in style. The all looked identical. 

I am with some women and we are trying to locate our washed or new sheets and linens in a huge room. There are bundles stacked in piles wrapped in clear plastic to you can see the contents, But the sheer volume is overwhelming. I consider taking some bundles that I know are not mine.

I am walking through a series of synthetic leather consumer goods; Suitcases, wallets, purses. One after another. I am thinking, these are shinny but worthless and made very poorly. The line of fake leather goods morphs into a street scene. I am under an elevated road or railway like in downtown NYC. There are black vendors, mostly women working on what may be real leather goods sitting at sewing stations. I can see their skin glistening with sweat but they seem peaceful and productive. I glace to the left and I can see a regular inner city street scene with old parked cars and men mulling around in t-shirts. They are out on the street not under the shadowed elevated structure.

I am trying to get onto a crowded highway. Everyone has collected tons of the never ending consumer goods and are trying to pull their cars onto a jammed highway. Some people are just standing in the road the way someone might stand in a parking space to save it. I am trying to pull a car on the road but the wheels hake been stolen and I have only flimsy plastic runners supporting the vehicle.

Notes: I went in and out of this series of dreams for some time. It was so seemingly pointless and repetitive I considered not naming or evening trying to remember them. I named it the matrix because it dawned on me the reputation and hopelessness was the whole point.

Notes on supplements from Carl in Dream Study Group: While he has often found them effective, especially galatamine, his experience is that the experience my feel limited or artificial. It's as if the dream is an effect of the drug not something from inside your subconscious or from a higher source.

What does the dream want? For me to have a life above and beyond a worker/consumer.

Reality check: Way too real for most of us.

Bumper Sticker: You can't purchase your way to happiness

Dream to action: Build a life built on helping others, embracing nature and living sustainably.

Timing is Everything

Timing is Everything

I am at a street fair or some large gathering of folks outside in my neighborhood. I am trying to perform a trick or demonstration. It is a physical feat that involves hooking up to something like a chin up bar pulling myself up by also have briefcase or something in my hand. I'm explaining in great detailed people how this needs to be done.. I'm particularly interested in the kids watching the longer I take to explain the more of them that are drifting away and are no longer paying attention. And then get an additional insight that makes me explain and practice a piece of the trick about the hook hooking onto the bar or some such thing. This point there are no longer any children or their parents watching.

Saving the Veterans

There's a small group of veterans standing in line. I am walking past them and realize no one is paying attention. I also realize just by paying attention they can be saved. I think about them and somehow the group is identified and released. It's almost like a highlight cut and paste operation.

Notes: not sure if this is significance but I'm realizing a pattern where I remember dreams early from the night keep repeating them to remember them but then don't remember ones later where there should be more of them. Might have something to do with my sleep pattern while I'm waiting for my new CPAP machine.

What does the dream want?  The veteran's dream it was very brief and fairly obvious. For me to figure out a way to help veterans regardless of what happens with this job position.

When I went to name the dream and came up with timing is everything that seems obvious as well. Get things done when I need to get done.

Reality check: I certainly need to get things done and timing is becoming critical.

Bumper sticker: Do it now.

Dreams to action: Get going right now.

Multiple Dreams (Lucid w/suppliments)

Camouflage (lucid w/supplements)

I am debating getting out of bed to get a blanket. My wife volunteers to bring me back one, but I get out of bed anyway. I see a blanket but get distracted by a feather keepsake. I take it back to bed with me. As I am settling down I notice the feather is being blown around by my fan and I am worried it will be damaged. It blows next to another natural object, a small tree branch/leaf thing (dream logic) and I notice they have the exactly same coloring. Light brown on the outside with white in the center. I realize the bird the feather came from is perfectly matched to be camouflaged in the tree the branch came from.

I go back into dream and go full lucid briefly while looking at white pills on floor. I have very vivid detailed view of the tiny objects on the floor and turn my hand around and flex my fingers to demonstrate I am in a lucid dream. The lucid part ends quickly but does not wake me up.

Hospital Waiting Room (partially lucid)

I am cleaning up the room and it is starting to get wet (windows are leaking?) It gets wetter and wetter and eventually there is a couple of feet of water all over the room.  I am cool because I know it is a dream. 

I walk outside the room into a dark hospital hallway and decide to not go there because it will likely be dark and scary. I see a kitten climbing up the metal door (I notice this is strange). I bring him in the room. While playing with him he briefly speaks. Most of the others in the room are not particularly moved by this.

Dream Characters from Another Dream are in the room briefly. They acknowledge they are from another dream and two of them start to make out. I am jealous. 

Sorting Storage Dish Lids

I prepare a  stew that has been stored in plastic bags. I package them all up in storage containers for others to take home but struggle with morphing lids. The woman homeowner is spraying plants and it gets on the food. There are dubious ingredients in the spray. 

( I tried to go back to sleep and visit with the character from It's Just Us dream. No luck.)

Notes: First dream was experienced as reality until I briefly woke. I thought I had not yet gone to sleep. First lucid dream in a long time. Thank Charles for asking about my dreams. Also several audible conversations. That's a new welcome feature. Would be particularly helpful when I contact a guide.

What does the dream want? For me to keep journaling and working on my dream skills. Beyond that, hard to say.

Reality check: I was in my bed. Thought about getting out for pain pills. Was very surprised to realize I was dreaming.

Bumper sticker: Listen to your dreams

It's Just Us

 I woke suddenly with a vivid image and voice in my mind. Its just us. I was with a woman who shouted this at me as something explosive woke me in the dream.

Notes: While the entire dream was shorter than a GIF, it was very vivid and audible. Several things struck me. There is someone willing to talk to me in my dreams...a guide? The implication was that together we are very powerful. I was very excited for continuing to improve dream interactions.

What does the dream want? For me to embrace the power of my dreams and possibly a guide.

Reality check: I was having a job interview in the morning for St. Joe's. On the night shift. Seems related.

Bumper sticker: I can do anything with help.

Dreams to action: Go Lucid!!!!!

Long Dream in Mexico

 I am in a small town in Mexico. I am talking to my family on the phone and am trying to encourage them to come visit. I can't pronounce the name of the town. It begins with an A. I try and pronounce it knowing it's a hack job, but maybe someone else with better Spanish will figure it out. I am working in a high end jazz bar. I tell them it is very expensive but worth it. I'm dressed in very nice clothes and walk outside jewel garden. I immediately stick my hands directly into the dirt tell myself this is what I really want to be doing.

Well in a different small town dressed really poorly. A guy and a girl arrive and the girl says up and start singing really nicely. Then she's American. One of the guys is winter comes over to me and asked me to sit down in front of her so that the crowd will gather in front of her. I ask one of the waiters if it's OK and I start to organize bringing a table and a chair over to sit in front of her. I start walking  and star climbing up steep natural walls that take me over a bridge to another part of town right next door.

I am in another  small café there are lots of people in there eating most of them very young. there is a small group is all eating exact same thing that looks very interesting. it's a giant oversized piece of chicken something that's white not sure what it is. The owner and cook is preparing a treat for a very small child it looks sort of like an ice cream sandwich but instead of being cold it's hot gooey white stuff in the middle and he's twisting it all up in the air but in the end it makes a perfect pattern and the child with a child's not interested. so he is it to me and I accept it but I realize that there is a third piece missing something orange like mango any says he'll work on that as well.

I'm in the same café still outdoors but I'm climbing up the walls. Later I come back now familiar with the walls when a car or some sort of vehicle is crossing the bridge  is going to come so close it may crush us.  It's all moving very slowly. With the girl or another girl I climb up the wall to a ledge where we will be safe.

I am now out driving like in the desert across the bridge and I look back in there is a tremendous torrent of water going under the bridge. The bridge is still intact and there's a very small amount of water what the amount of current that might be in a normal Ford. I tell myself that it won't be dangerous and I drive back across the bridge or at least begin to.

Notes: Google dream is incredibly vivid and highly saturated bright colors like oranges, yellows and umber. I am amazed that I can review long stretches of the dream before fully wakening. Then I have to  fully wake to pee. It has been two hours and I am awakened by an alarm to give me time to go swimming. This is a lot of detail after two hours. Woke in a very good mood, happy, energized.

What does the dream want? For me to see my family more. take risks, but plan them or scope them out. Get more sunshine.

Reality check: I an considering taking a risk by working the midnight shift. C=I am checking it out and doing preventative measures.

Bumper sticker: Calculated risks bring incalculable rewards.

Dream to action: Plan, take care.

Dezekiel Smith

 I am abruptly in front of a young black man. The space is unnaturally  bright light, all the walls/space are white. His face and complexion are perfect, like CGI. He pronounces very emphatically...my name is Dezekiel Smith. He is telling me that I need to make sacrifices and give things away. His tone is like he is preaching.

I go back into the dream later, his appearance is more natural, his tone more conversational.

Notes: The visuals were like I was using supplements. Super intense and vivid, as was the voice. This was an early dream but the onyx one I remembered.

Wharf does the dream want? I have little or no idea...I have been striving for a long time to communicated with black people...my answer from the dream world?

Reality check: None.

Bumper sticker: Tell it like it is

Dream to action: Try and invoke him in future dream...keep an eye out for similar name.

Kiss to Kiss Off

I'm in a building with a young beautiful woman. We are excited like teenagers and sneaking into a room and start making out. It is very sensuous.

Very shortly after this encounter I find myself in a room with a young man. He is black I may be black. We begin to get sensuous. Our encounter is mutually oral.

Notes: I feel like I was cheating on her and have no idea why I would do that. Especially immediately after an encounter with her.

What does the dream want: for me to get my heart together.

Reality check: had given up on any real intimacy with my wife but she recently said she missed me and she loves me. Just as I am committing to a job 800 mi away.

Bumper sticker: Love the one you're with: not so much.

Dream to action: get your f****** s*** together.

Don't be an Asshole

 I am hanging out with a large crown of high school kids. I may be a parent/chaperone.  I reenter the dream and am still with the group but am now inside. Everyone is preparing for a second longer trip to an event somewhere else. There is a lot of discussion and people are getting ready. I see Julia nd ask where Cindy is. She has left and that will leave me to continue for a long time without a break.

I complain to Julia that this is not making me happy and all I have done is care for other people all day. I am typically too loud and embarrass her. I ask if she can find me a tooth brush to freshen up.

There is an extended scene where we are taking decorations that have been made and are hanging from the ceiling n a room. We are taking them down and trying to identify who has made them and will be taking them.

Notes: Rory ate my CPAP mask. I've been grumpy already (in pain a lot and stressed). Glad that I remembered the dream, but hated the idea of the dream.

What does the dream want? For me not to be an asshole.

Reality check: I can be an asshole and recently was to Cindy when down on sleep, rushed (late) and in pain. Not an excuse...an opportunity.

Bumper sticker:     Don't be an Asshole

                                     Like I can Be

Dream to action: Practice not being grumpy...preload with proper sleep and meditation and a well balanced life.