Guilty Lying Thief

Tuesday April 28, 2020 7:00 am
Guilty Lying Thief

I am using crazy Rube Goldberg steering wheel setup while talking on phone. A truck veers to miss me and crashes. I move on, leaving the scene of an accident, unscathed and unnoticed? [Guilty]

As I am driving I consider turning myself in. Then I realize I am in a story (lucid dream?). So if I am in a story do I need to turn myself in or just wait and see how the story turns out?

I arrive at a school/college and am tremendously guilty and fearful I will be discovered. It is all over the news. I keep my head down an rapidly navigate the rest of the dream.

I am with a group working on cleaning and I as assigned to help with the floor. I see the edge of the soles of my shoes (look like slippers with soft soles) are muddy. I take care to wash off the dirt carefully (to conceal the evidence). I am very proud of my thoroughnes.

I arrive home or at a friends house, there are children about. We are preparing for a nap and I realize my shoes are still wet and am thinking about drying them with a towel, on the sly.

I am now in a busy hallway with students coming and going and in open rooms I can peer into. Everyone is working on various immediate tasks. As I am leaving the area for a space more secluded I am assigned a task by the principal/dean. It comes in the form of a note dangling in the air in front of me. I take it. It is a writing assignment. There is a fellow student/friend (black woman) walking with me. The assignment is based on a single word. She asks if I know the word. I say yes dismissively,  [Lying]but have uncertainties I do not express. As we are walking up some stairs and out the door I grab a paperback dictionary. [Thief]  She is still reading my assignment over my shoulder, playing with words out loud and announces something like Mocha Boca!

Notes: Very vivid. Woke up, used bathroom and returned still remembering the dream. Tried to reenter...only marginally successful. 

What does the dream want? For me to have more integrity.

Reality Check: May be about the stuff I am buying under the guise of real estate investment, e.g., nice knives,

Bumper Sticker: My guiding principle is this: Guilt is never to be doubted

– Franz Kafka

Dreams to Action: Give up my knives? Meditate on this...really meditate, 24 min+

Ideas from Dream Group Discussion: This dream is profoundly positive. What appears as a series of misteps are bumps along the path to be a better pereson. Should I dwell on the problems of the past or the direction forard. The one word that explains it all...it's simple. Hanging in front of my nose, like Groucho Marx', You Bet Your Life. Not necessarily easy, but simple. What is that word? Does it matter?

On Mission or Clueless (For Group?)

Wednesday April 22, 2020 7:20 am

On Mission or Clueless

I am with a group of policemen in a business office. A note has just come in about an urgent matter. A female officer is reading the note, but instead of reading it, she is having extreme emotional reactions.  I get frustrated with her and yell at her to just read it our loud.

We begin the mission in a loose group and are walking to our destination. We have a female straggler and  I am concerned she will not catch up to us.

Even though I am still aware of the urgency, I find myself in bed with an attractive woman.We are fooling around and play arguing over the blanket. We are not fighting over who gets it, but it is warn and we are fighting over who it gets pushed onto. The scene changes but the two of us are in the same orientation on the lawn in front of a restaurant window. A police officer leans out the window and tries to take charge of the scene. He pulls out his revolver and shoots the woman I am with. She is shot in the shoulder and I am near panic and am thinking about how we are going to report this. A second officer, who is black, leans out the window and intends to take care of all the confusion. He pulls out his automatic and shots her dead in the heart. I am confused, shocked and dismayed but still remember the mission and continue walking to our destination.

Even with the sense of urgency I decide to stop at an empty donut shop. I go in and go behind the counter.  I get a glazed donut by reaching into the display case and am very proud of myself. The shop is now full of people and I decide I want another one. There is a hanging mass of sweet rolls and such hanging in a big mess. Another office is beside me and has his eye on a danish in the middle of the mess but is uncertain on how to proceed. There is a waiter next to us and I work how how to pay him with cast and no change so I can proceed with the mission rapidly. I announce my justification for needing a second donut and shout I have not eaten and need sugar NOW!

I proceed to the destination and notice my truck parked outside. My partner is inside and I talk to him while rapidly walking by. I tell him things are a big mess and we will need to cover our asses by making a lot of stuff up. I hear a small voice from inside and it is my young son. He was apparently in the truck. We all three proceed to the building in front of us. I tell my son I am going to an important meeting and he needs to keep a low profile.

We enter a school building and there are many people in the lobby. I begin investigating by heading down a hallway. It immediately becomes apparent that there is a group leader and I was basically clueless. She is a substantial black woman who is obviously in a position of authority. She tells us there is something very important she wants to show us and for us to follow her. She takes our group out of the building and into an open parking lot under the building. We are walking to the outside when the group sees a suspiciously acting young child moving rapidly outside.

He sees us and tries to run along a fence line. I tell them I will take care of it. It is my son I am now chasing. Just as I overtake him he lays down and becomes motionless on the ground. He all but disappears as he is naturally camouflaged in some way. I know exactly where he is because I was only a couple of feet away when he essentially morphed into a pile of brown sticks and leaves. I tell him I see him and to get up, not scolding him in anyway, but being emphatic. I call back to the group that I will handle the situation and take him over my shoulder to carry him to safety. As I am holding him over my shoulder he turns into an aluminium latter.

Notes: I am on day three of a water fast and doing well but my mind has been racing. I have lots of idea about preceding with the Pine Street Annex, but am unsure exactly how to proceed. As soon as my head hit the pillow I started dreaming. This dream was complex and multifaceted. I reviewed it many times before opening my eyes and fully waking. I kept forgetting parts and having new sequences introduced. May have been 10 or 20 minutes of review. Very encouraged by vividness of the dream and my ability to piece together the parts even after moving in bed (including removing an ace bandage on my knee). I want to go back to the Robert Moss class and take it over.

What does the dream want?  For me to stay on mission? Is family more important? What would that mean in terms of a way forward?

Reality check: The blanket scene may be related to I was too warm under the covers when I was reviewing the dream before fully waking.

Bumper Sticker: Stay on Mission But Stay Aware of Your Surroundings. 

Dreams to Action: Get focused on getting things done but stay intouch with those important to me.

Before I Die

Thursday April 9, 2020 8:00 am

Before I Die

I am in an office in a discussion with a coworker. He expresses concern about me and wonders if I have been crying. I am taken aback and it takes a bit to sort out my feelings. I explain to him that Pap is dying and we want to see him more. Moving closer is not really an option, we haven't even fully discussed the situation as a family. Now that I am thinking through it, it is out of the question. But the "concerned" coworker seems to have inserted themselves into a conversation that hasn't even happened yet. I am a bit pissed.

Candy Chang is the artist and creator behind the public initiative ¨Before I die…¨ After losing a close friend to liver failure, Chang spent time contemplating her life and how she would like to live out the remainder of her days. After thinking about death, she had the idea that this surely must be a universal thing that many people contemplate – and she was right.

The original wall was put up on an abandoned building in New Orleans, Louisiana. So many people resonated with the wall, that Chang decided to make it a global art project. Now, more than 2,000 walls have been created in over 76 countries, with 35 languages.   https://urnabios.com/before-i-die-wall-global-art-project-inspires/

Notes: As I woke I realized I was in a dream, didn't move and tried to remember it, name it, etc. I think the detailed thinking was done during this part. It is very complex for a dream. The name "Before I Die" came to me as a title, even though the pending death in the dream was Pap's. I reflected on my future and again came to the conclusion that my path forward is uncertain. I don't want to die alone (emotionally), which is how I feel now.  When awake I realized I had a pretty emotional response to my coworker...likely some shadow going on, no definitely.

What does the dream want?  For me to align my soul with my daily activity.

Reality check: No one is dying...well lots of folks are dying of the Corona virus, but no one I know.

Bumper Sticker: It's A Good Day to Die.

Dreams to Action: Get my shit together, then talk with Cindy.

Making it Perfect

Sunday April 5, 2020 12:00 pm

Making it Perfect

I am watching something being made out of wood. It is a block of wood that is very precisely shaped into a metal framework that puts a lot of pressure on it, but makes it very exact. I feel like the dreamer was female. I went in and out of multiple dreams over a couple of hours. While the  wood work was very precise it was apparent that I was not getting the technical details and was basically uninformed. It was like I was taking a short cut.

In another variation an eco-friendly device was being built, but again, I was not knowledgeable about the technical details.

Not sure how this image is relevant...but it came up looking for "facile". Tricky word can be easy in a good way (keep it simple)  or a bad way (ignoring complexity).

Notes: Surprising dreams after getting high before bed. Being doing a lot of thinking and planning about woodwork. Including structural work on the foundation.

What does the dream want?  Do more research and start small on complex projects.

Reality check: Very close to ongoing concerns in my waking world. Could be close to literal interpretation.

Bumper Sticker: Not Facile, Keep it Real.

Dreams to Action: Keep going. Be careful. Be organized. (recycled from anther dream)