Sparrow Project Gap Day

6:39am

I can't remember the name

I am in a restaurant with a woman. There are two restaurants right next to each other. We are eating outside. Sitting in a small table we need something when we decide to call. We call a restaurant supply. I'm trying to tell them what I need. I can't remember the name of what I need I can't remember the name of the restaurant I am in. I didn't recall that I used to work in the restaurant. I'm very frustrated that I can cannot remember the name. I then remembered that the restaurant but I'm sitting in as a different one than the one I used to work in. The one I used to work at is the one immediately next-door. It's like a Paris Café the chairs and one almost touch the chairs in the other. There are now three other people at the table. Another couple. I tell my partner that I am worried that she needs to pay attention to me if I start acting strange to take me to the hospital.

The fishing trip

I am walking home and outside my apartment and I can see one story up to my balcony. There are two or three young kids on my balcony assorted yell at them. And very easily climb up the front find myself on the balcony. They don't seem to be strangers to the apartment. Tonight they tell me that I have some sort of an important email. They tell me it is a traffic ticket. I want to ask him what have you already opened it.

I am now beside a river in a beautiful state fishing spot. There are many other people there. A number of people that I know and I am apparently with. I don't know them well. I have a fishing rod with a very large artificial neuron it. It's a plastic it's in it's an odd shape for a Lure. The person I'm with, A guy says he would like to make a cast. It's like a combination fly fishing regular fishing. It has all its line wound up externally but it's very thick so we take it gently off the end of the port sort of clipped on. We toss the Lord into the water I see you at sink. I kneel down next to the bank in pier into the water. There are many huge fish all sorts of fish. Unusual weird fish. I grab the line gently and start manipulating I can feel nibbles on the line.

There are now many people playing in the water and they're coming from both sides and starting to scare the fish. I start to show it to them please move away from where we were fishing. I'm having to yell to be heard. They respond and start moving away. See the fish are still there. I then decided to make a cast. The polls been put away so we need to redeployed. Either me or the guy I'm with grab the line and throw it. But it's my cast. It lands on a boat a very large boat. The people are just enjoying themselves on. The hook lands in the lap of a beautiful young woman. The book is huge and therefore not particularly dangerous if you don't pull on it I talked to her and gently remove the hook from her lap without incident. It now occurs to me that while I was yelling at the people to get away from the fishing area it might have been the people in both sides that created the situation to begin with. By having lots of people in the water coming from both sides the fish were trapped in the middle. And then get the idea to illicit their help I wake up.

Notes: I am aware when I wake up it was just in a dream. The first when I reviewed at least three times. And then try not to move remove very little. Go back to sleep. That's when I enter the second dream. I come out and try to go back to a third dream again reminding myself of the phrase to be more aware of my dreams but I can't remember the second part.I'm not able to go fully back into the dream state but I'm pulled into two images. And I struggle with relaxing into the drain but still staying I'm not able to go fully back into the dream state but I'm pulled into two images. And I struggle with relaxing into the drain but still staying away aware. I thought it was later than it was I still have almost an hour to dream and then try to go back to sleep again.

Sparrow Project Exp Night 2

8:45 AM

The Prostitute

I'm in a room with two other characters. Everything is bright red their clothes maybe even their bodies. One of them is a prostitute. The other is the john, it may be a woman. I may be an arresting officer.

I'm talking to the prostitute about the trouble that she is in. I leave the room briefly and come back. The prostitute is sitting on the face of the other person. They're obviously very physically intimate. It occurs to me that the prostitute is being very clever because now that they have been so close the evidence has been destroyed. They are now both very similar.

The Cake Thief

I am entering a very large commercial building possibly a hotel. As I look outside these very large windows I see the structure of the building go by. I momentarily reflect about whether I am moving. I decided I'm not moving. I dismiss  the oddity of being able to see the inside structure of the building streaming in front of me. (When I'm awake I realize this view would normally only be seen from inside a glass elevator)

It's a very wide hallway. There is a series of four or five upright pianos. They are beautiful pianos. They are light brown burled wood covered in shellac. I can see the detailed beauty of the woodwork very clearly. I go to open the cover on the keys. Instead of being a piano they are now large containers with  pieces of cake. I am with my friend Steven Lindenbaum. He comments on the names of the pieces of cake. It is a weird name that I accept as normal. They are obviously intended for the guests at a party being catered in the hotel. But they look like leftovers and most of them have been partially eaten. There's three or four pieces, sometimes half pieces laying in the containers. We decided to have some.  I eat one he's eating another piece. Then we are caught. One of the hotel staff comes out. He is very large. He may be wearing a traditional chef's outfit in white. He tells us we shouldn't be doing this. Steve has run away to the large bank of elevators on the left. I look into them to try to see if he is in one of them. I can see to the through glass elevator doors into the elevators. (When I awake I realize that you can't see into elevator doors)

I turn to the right and see an open door leading to the stairwell. Instead of running I turn and explain to the hotel staff guy that it wasn't really that bad what we did. It was obviously the end of a party. I glance to the right and I see through some glass doors a large party on going not sure if it's the same one. I dash into the stairwell and as I enter in the stairwell I see bits of cake strewn all along the sides. Obviously other people of done the exact same thing that I did.

Note. When I wake I realize that the pastries may have been fine before people started to pick at them.

Surgical Precision

Only a snippet. I'm looking very closely at an operation. I see the insides of someone and maybe hands with the scalpel. I hear the words surgical precision.

My alarm goes off

The Garden Party, Exp Night 1 Sparrow Project

10:49am

The Garden Party {S: Assumed Galantamine, 2 capsules; part of a blind study]

I have just come from a very explicit casual sexual encounter with a beautiful woman. I am dimly concerned that I may not be able to report all the details of the encounter. It is a bright day and all the colors are very vivid. I am walking across a lawn that comes to a break in a low stone wall that has about three steps down to a lower part of the lawn. There are people strolling, sitting in chairs and laying on the grass. I settle down between two groups, I am very close, almost touching them. There are two women on my left and man and a woman on my right, she is within my reach. I reach out, touch her gently and invite her to get physically intimate. I realize that the man is her husband and I ask, nonverbally, if she wants him to join in, possibly giving her oral attention between her legs. She has an immediate definitive and dismissive negative reaction. She proceeds to climb on top of me. She is wearing a thin yellow summer dress and I can feel every part of her body as we  have contact on all parts of our bodies. We are intimately deep kissing while I am aware of her nipples pressing on my chest and her vulva rubbing against my knee. I am fully sensually engulfed by her. I am particularly aware of the wet warm delicious sensation of our kissing. We are still just inches from the others around us, but this seems to be of no consequence. We are under a low table and she is bumping her head against the strut holding the table top. We decide to find a better place to continue our intimacy.

We are walking as it begins to rain. I can feel the drops on my face and the beginnings of my hair becoming wet. I look for shelter and see a nearby store front. I imagine taking her into the restroom and taking her with our bare bottoms on the cold tile floor. We peer into the shop's windows and it appears to be a restaurant, we enter. It is slightly disheveled but happily not over crowded There are several empty tables. There are many tables and chairs stacked to one side. I have picked out a table for two that has one good chair, but I am having difficulty finding a second one that is stable. I pick up one that has short rear legs. It has possibly been modified to sit in the sand. I look at a second that is also defective and sandy on the chair back. I do not get frustrated but exhibit very gentlemanly manners and explain I will choose another, wipe it off, and if that is insufficient, I will choose another.

We are about to sit when we see a waitress with a very large tray of food. It holds hot pieces of steak resting on leaves of lettuce. They are plates on the tray as well. It is similar to the way orderves are circulated at a party, but this is a main dish. My partner is very interested and begins to choose two pieces for us. There is another woman to my right that is also interested and there is the potential for conflict. My attention is drawn to three women to my left.

They are standing shoulder to shoulder two or three steps up from me. They have elaborate summer attire, including hats. The fashion is reminiscent of the 1950s. The one in the middle is very thin, sexy, wearing a low cut dress with frills. She is looking directly at me and is raising her voice. She has apparently been calling my name several times and is now nearly shouting. She calls out my first, middle and last name very definitively. I can hear her words very clearly.  It occurs to me that this is not my name, but she is so undoubting I engage in conversation. I step up to her, put my hand on her waist and whisper in her ear, "have we fucked?" Her body suddenly jerks spasmodically. It moves my lips from her ear and I am not sure she has heard me. This happens a second time and I lean slightly away from her to see what is going on. There is a man with a gnarly grinning face behind her who has apparently been squeezing her almost painfully from behind. He pushes his face around her so his head is touching hers and it just to my right. I promptly punch him in the face and prepare to continue the conversation.

I am woken up.

Notes: Shit! Bad timing on the interruption. Tried to get back into the dream but was unable. I did have a few, some detailed, images and snippets. I am definitely not taking a placebo in this experiment. Wow. The sex was full on. Better than I remember the real thing on most occasions.

Needs analysis:

Sparrow Research Project Gap Day

7:20am

Resnet (Skipped day of dream study protocol)

I am a homeless man with a woman next to me out in front of the 7-Eleven. There's a group of people next to us. We are under an overhang. We have several positions around us we are sort of filthy in and out and missed it feels like a nest. There are several men that are next to us. Dirt two of them that are in an argument.

One of them is particularly violent and aggressive. At one point he takes out a gun. Is a handgun. What is oddly shaped. He starts yelling at the other man and then points the gun at him and shoot him. It is very loud. I can feel the impact of the firing. I am very frightened. The shooter is very casual about the event. He puts the gun in a bag that has other guns in it. I see at least two or three others they all have odd shapes. Some have long barrel some have bulbs handles. And almost hear the clicking together the metal on metal in the bag. It's like a cheap plastic bag shopping bag.

I am very afraid I do not want to be perceived as a threat to this man. We go inside and I ask him if he wants a soda to drink. That I will pay for it. He suddenly gets very chummy with me possibly putting his hand around my shoulder. Says yes he will take a soda and thanked me very much.

We are still with this man but we are now in a different location. It is a place were stolen cars are handled. Somehow the name resident is very clearly spoken. We have some sort of conversation. I wake up.

Notes: I wake up very fearful from my experience in the dream but very excited that my recall is so detailed. I had review the Dream several times. I may have the rename Rezneck slightly wrong.

I went to bed at 1 o'clock. Set the alarm for four hours. Woke up two minutes before the alarm was going to go off. Was up for a couple of minutes went back to sleep. Woke up

What does this dream want.? Appears that someone in the dream is a potential threat to me. They are doing something casually that is very dangerous (Roofers?). It is an obvious parallel to the roofing business that I've engaging myself in. The idea of walking on roofs is very scary. I am afraid of this new job that I am attempting to do. Part of me definitely thinks it's a very stupid idea. Part of me thinks is is a way to get on firm footing in my life by being on sketchy footing for brief periods of time.

What am I going to do about it? I'm not sure. I'm still telling myself that this is a good idea. It's all about money. More than money it's about stretching what is possible.

Base Dream for Sparrow Research Project

9:15am

Base Dream for Sparrow Research Project

The dream is very vivid and colorful. I am walking around a large campus  on an outside walkway. I come to a large building with a very high curved roofline. Similar to a quonset hut, but larger and modern. I am walking with someone else and enter the building knowing there will be many facets or different things happening in the same building. The first section I enter is a large cafeteria. I start to make my way through the selections.

Meanwhile: I am on a ship that is headed toward the location where the dream started. There is a sense of urgency and danger. We are on some sort of rescue mission. The mission is directly tied to the people where the dream started. While there is danger and mystery in the air, the characters on the ship look like they are in a stop action animation movie. The colors are very vivid, I see a series of balls in bright primary colors. They may be just floating in the air. The captain is a caricature of Sylvester Stallone.  As we approach our destination we enter a bay that rapidly becomes thick with fog. The captain has a plan and prepares to release a flying spy. It turns out to be a very large funky looking bird with small wings, easily 10 feet tall and with the aerodynamics of a blimp. It is also very cartoon like. It has a weapon or spyglass on its face. It is in a tight cage that keeps it in middeck ready for deployment. As the captain begins to deploy the bird it asks him what it is supposed to do. The captain is very frustrated and thinks, "I only want to send this thing out, not figure out how it works." I take the device off of the bird in a fashion that displays that I have knowledge about what is going on. I move in near by and adjust the scope/barrel and have it face the bird. I am about to explain what is going on...I wake.

Notes: This is the first and "baseline" dream in a study being done by Dr. Scott Sparrow

On the way to the Brothel

10:100am

On the Way to the Brothel

I am in a wagon, there is a woman in the front with the horse rains guiding us. It is an old wagon with wide sides that flare out. Her house is just off the dirat road on the right. We have come for some sort of paid service. She is our guide.

I make a comment that you have to be careful about who you talk to or you may be harshly judged if you use the wrong words. Our guide says this is not true and take some offence. I repeat that I have heard this several times from others. I am now uncertain of the truth.

The woman who is another paying customer is on horseback. She is middled aged and very attractive. We travel down the road a bit and some to a house on the left that may sell old collectibles. We comment on it but move on.

I find myself in a large complex structure. It is put together with components of old barns and houses There is weather red paint on one of the walls. It is very unconventional. There is a very tall open room that has walls that extend at least two stories. You can see inside from all sides. It is surrounded by open spaces in the walls, staircases and pieces that swing like a door but are largely open spaces like windows.

I am involved in some convoluted task that I can not remember. I have an extended conversation with a old man who I believe owns and runs this place. He goes into another section of the house/barn and I follow him. It leads through a wall in the open room. A door like portion of the wall swings open, although it was really keeping nothing out because it had so many cutouts. I come into a much more enclosed part of the house. It becomes immediately apparent that it is a whore house. There are many women in old fashioned undergarments moving about in a very relaxed and inviting manner.

The madam sits with me and starts to discuss my needs. At one point I am to write something on a large plaque/poster. There are many places where others have written notes. It is like the writing in a year book. Each entry is unique in hand writing, length and direction the small notes are tilted toward. I begin to write my name and a note. I look back over what I have written and I can not make it out. It is not writing at all but just misshapen lines and scrawls. As we are discussing my needs my relationship with my mother is brought up and there is some doubt as to my ability to perform. It is not judgemental, just insightful and factual as if they know me intimately.

My alarm goes off.

Notes: I have just been invited into Scott Sparrow's lucid dreaming study. I am very excited and am encouraged to have a vivid dream.

What does this dream mean?

What does the dream want?  If I was lucid I would want to have more extensive conversations with the old man. The problem with my hand writing was a huge dream sign and an invitation to go lucid.

Killing Cindy

8:11am

Killing Cindy

I am with my wife Cindy, we may be in a house. I am interacting with her in a way that is subtly aggressive. Over time my actions become more and more aggressive until I am physically attacking her. I am chasing her outside the house around the yard through the landscaping. I catch her and do several violent things, possibly choking her. She will not die. I then poor sand into her mouth and cover her face, possibly with my boots. She will not die. She chokes, coughs and recovers. I now realize what a horrible thing I have nearly done. I run away.

I am running through the neighborhood. I am running very fast and believe I can elude the police. Then I look out between some slats in a fence and see the whole neighborhood is out looking for me. I am trapped and apprehended very soon.  I am being held captive in my house, but there are no restraints, just presumed instructions to stay in one place until the police come back and get me.

I am there a long time and wonder what is going on. I decide to leave, but I am not running. I end up at the Jones'. They greet me very warmly, I tell Gladys what I have done. I feel oppressively horrible physically. She immediately treats me very kindly and tells me to take a seat in the den. I see various articles that are in the room in great detail. There is what may be an open suitcase with very formal clothes on a couch. I am lightly  touching some of the items by reaching over the back of the couch.

I wander around the house out of boredom and run into Harry and Gladys's daughter. She greets me warmly but I immediately tell hew what I have done. Part of me expects her to be afraid, but she is still very calm, just a bit more formal. At various points in the dream Harry, Gladys, Tenly and his wife all accept my presence and are actually somewhat protective.

Notes: I woke up too warm, I had not opened the window. I was looking at guns late at night on the Internet before I went to bed.

What is the dream telling me? It seems to be about violence and forgiveness. When I first woke up, I thought that guns are not the answer, at least not using them on others. I did something terrible and then was forgiven or at least forgotten. The contrast between how the Jones live (old money) and how I live, suburban was evident.

What am I going to do about it? Think long and hard before getting a gun.