The Reluctant Thesbian

It was a large group of people and we are at some sort of event. We're two other men and myself we've been assigned a small skit or piece of a play. Two other men have most of the dialogue. As we rehearse our parts I don't understand mine it doesn't make any sense. I have one or two words lines at a time and I am supposed to be flirting with one of the men as if I am gay and his status is uncertain. I can't get my mind around the idea. I am so stumped by the idea that I can't memorize my lines even though they all boil down to just a few words. We get closer and closer to the time we're going to have to perform and I have no idea what I'm going to do. I fret over it over and over again and yet still never memorize even a single line or queue. We are minutes away from performance and I still haven't decided what I'm going to do.

Notes: I come in and out of the dream and easily return to the dream but I'm just as stuck each time. I'm going to think of stupid I am but I don't just spend the time memorizing the lines.

What does the dream want? For me to consider my future sexual partners?

Reality check: I'm not struggling with my sexual orientation but I am definitely struggling with my lack of sexual intimacy in my life.

Bumper sticker: in theater there are no small parts.

Dreams to action: I have no idea.

Motorcycle Gas Line Repair After Being close at College Event

I am with a group of people just after an event on a college campus. You're leaving the event and finding our way home. I am an older person not one of the kids. I get separated from the people I am with and I'm looking for them.

As I am walking through the crowd looking for the people I've been separated from I make a comment using the n word. And then almost bump into two very large black men with neck to ankle leather coats. I comment on how attractive they are. They smile and offer me advice on where to go. I ask if there's a place where people might gather if they get separated and head in that direction.

I increasingly feel but I'm not going to fight your people I came with. I find myself on a motorcycle a pair of motorcycles with me and Paul and I'm still trying to find my way home. The landscape has gotten very remote industrial and it's very late at night. I come to a passageway through a fence but it looks almost impassable. There is sand and debris. I have made it through the barrier and we are on the street but now my motorcycle is having some sort of mechanical problem. I get off of it and look. I have Paul hold a light it's where the fork meets the center of the front wheel. But there is gas leaking out. It's not just dripping it's coming out under pressure and squirting a couple of inches. I reach my fingers down and I can feel how the pieces go together. It's like muscle memory. The leaking gas has cleaned all the parts and I rearrange them in a way that I can tell just by the feel it's perfect. There's a bolt that has come separated but is somehow still attached I tighten it up and the repair is perfect. But now we are low in gas in a remote area but at least everything is mechanically sound. I wait with a significant feel of feeling of accomplishment at having repaired the bike.

As part of waking I realize that if I do get another motorcycle I will have to do significant repairs myself. You can't be riding a motorcycle and not know how to repair it.

Notes: It's 6:00 in the morning I really need to get back to sleep because I have to work today and then pick Alex up at the airport and then work again tomorrow. Feeling good that I remembered the dream in such detail and getting it recorded and then going back to sleep.

What does the dream want? It is telling me that I am achieving some level of competence and some of it is based on past experience. But as also telling me it's easy to get lost. Literally.

Reality check: I'm considering getting a motorcycle that would be a used one that a friend is repaired. Imagining he will do all the mechanical work we will rent it and I will just ride it. Not realistic. What have to do at least the basic maintenance.

Bumper sticker: No free ride

Dreams to action: Continue my mental physical and technical knowledge gains. Be realistic about what I'm capable of doing.

After the Fall

I am part of a group of American soldiers after the war to end all wars. We are inside a large budding that still stands but everything is chaos coveted in dist. 

We are  fantasizing about selling a tank to someone and what we would do with the cash. They would inquire about security and we would day just come and get it. 

A small group of us is outside in the dark when am open keep with two people in it drive down the narrow street. We are desperately trying to find shelter but the buildings are abandoned but intact. There is no where to hide. I tell them to stay together or we will never finding each other again. 

The two men in the jeep stop, get out carrying a stuffed overnight envelope. A rumor circulates they are trying to deliver a plan to reorganize the world. It is obvious it is too late and their is no place and no-one to deliver it to  Suddenly I realize I am a soldier, on duty and have nothing to fear. I step out of the shadows and say...how can I help you.

I wake energized and hopeful.

Notes: I consider rolling over and going back to sleep thinking my memory is so clear I will journal it later. Instead, I make this entry immediately.

Bus Stop Morphs into Party with Richard, Chris and Big Foot

I'm getting off a bus carrying a bag of groceries. I'm about two blocks from my house in Georgetown, but I don't recognize the area at all. I'm standing on a hill that is very sandy and difficult to even stand. I'm trying to adjust the bag of groceries but they keep falling out and the bag is ripping. While I'm standing there a car parks right next to me. It's very difficult for the car to maneuver in the sand as well. There are a lot of people walking past me and going into the house. I recognize one of them as an old friend from high school, Chris Brannigan. I call his name and he turns. I tell him how great it is to see him and it's a coincidence because I've just recently talked with Richard Gilman, a mutual friend of ours.

I am now in the house that I was standing in front of. There's a party going on. Richard Gillman is in the house and has been staying with Chris. I am surprised but take it in stride. As I'm wandering around the party a tall hairy - furry guy starts talking to me. He looks like Bigfoot. He's complaining about some minor thing and we are having a casual conversation of no particular consequence.

The party continues and I have another fairly innocuous encounter with Bigfoot. I wake fairly happy and amused.

Notes: I had time to name and thoroughly review the dream before I fully woke. I remember it clearly even after making a couple of phone calls before writing it down.

What does the dream want? For me to get my s*** together organizationally. But still have a good time.

Reality check: I definitely have organizational challenges at work.

Bumper sticker: anything can happen.

Dream to action: be more methodical about getting to know the kids at work, their backgrounds, details of their current status. 

Worst Guitar Jam Ever

I am in a venue like a wedding. There is an seasoned chill electric guitar player doing an instrumental. I pick up a guitar and start "playing along". I do not know how to match his melody, instead I strum and pick with loud distorted noise. I play the guitar so hard that after the song the strings are stretched out and dandling from the instrument.

He is  very kind and gracious and makes some suggestions for my improvement. I look at my guitar the strings are all stretched out and bulging out.

[Later segment] I am talking about doing it again, I am leaving the house on the way to another session, but realize that I am in my stocking feet and have to go back in.

Notes: No clue...take to dream group?

What does the dream want? For me to really learn to play the guitar...at 70? Or is it about pretending in general?

Reality check: Can't play work shit, but would not like do anything like this loud mess.

Bumper sticker: Can't play, stay home.

Dreams to action: Step up and join the group....work on it...daily.

Ideal Me (IM)

I am the Ideal Me.

IM

Naked Goddess

I am with a group of people, mostly family. It's possibly set in an old Italian village. There is a woman who I recognize as someone I knew in college, Karen. We are preparing for some sort of event and she is changing her clothes. She is naked in front of me while she's changing but it's like I'm invisible. Her body is glowing from the inside like illuminated marble. I am old and she is still young. I'm slightly confused but she is so beautiful I'm more amazed than anything.

Later we are outside she is dressed and leaving for the event. She basically has not even recognized me.

Notes: This is a snippet of a much longer dream.

What does the dream want:? Not sure at this point.

Reality check: Between work and my dog walker I have many young women around me. It is quite the contrast.

Bumper sticker: Old farts are invisible.

Dreams to action: Get healthy.

Screw Up at School

I am walking through an outdoor event at a new school. There are small tables set up everywhere and a student running a group or offering product is at each table. I am waiting to talk to one of the kids who has some kind of technology that might that I'm interested in. I'm waiting for him to finish his conversation. As I do so I put two things down on his table. Something like a brochure and my cell phone.

I continue to wait very close by and then I see he's taking a break and puts a tarp over his table. I'm a little concerned and I'm walking around it picking it up to peek under. I walk around behind it and as I come around out front it takes me a minute to realize the table is no longer there he has left the event. I panic and realize I don't even know his name or anything about him. I start the problem-solve and think about asking some of the other vendors but everybody's in the process of breaking down. I wake up panicked.

Nores:  not an uncommon feeling for me after doing something thoughtless.

What does the dream want? Initially I had no idea but now I'm thinking I need to finish the sexual abuse training video for work. I have been procrastinating it's my only outstanding requirement other than getting a state driver's license.

Reality check: This is not an unlikely scenario for me but it doesn't click with anything that I remember or anticipate.

Bumper sticker: keep your phone handy.

Dreams to action: finish the course get your license !!!

3rd Assistant for Connected Hollywood Big Shot

I am riding in the back of a large limo with the world's worst driver. He is old sitting low in the seat in uniform. I am a low level assistant to  an aging rumored to be connected Hollywood actor. He may be Danny Devoto (at least 2nd occurance). We are smashing things and people on the road and the sidewalk several times on each block. I have a bird's eye view of our giant car pinning a tinny cart (I assume there is a person in it) against a wall and squwish it.q We then make a hard left turn from the right land causing what might be a fatal accident. The momentum of the car never stops. There is no mention of the destruction outside as we proceed to our destination.

We are preparing for a large production or event. My role is schlept things and run errands. Chaos also reigns in the facility/hotel. Everyone shows great deference to the actor and fear him. He is very demanding buy with a comic undertone. I screw up every errand and task I am assigned, but my job continues, like the limo. 

There are devices, costumes and other remnenents of old productions everywhere in the halls and rooms. I am looking for a device to help complete mopping the floors. I find and old device that is basically and open besuup metal box on a stick. It leaks the washing fluid that is used to clean the floor. It see it in great detail. When I wresdled it out to where it is needed, the floor cleaning has just finished..

At one point the actor tools in a skid filled with musical accessories. The are mostly flat metal object that are dented and obviously used. He explains we were told we got a bargain on them. They were an additional expense to the primary things we needed and it was not clear whether they would normally be included. 

I am getting the sense that my boss is not as dangerous as everyone thinks. I facility a phone call between two people that are close to the actor but he has not spoken to in years. I stay on the phone to eaves drop, they may hear my guffaw at one of their comments. There is a third party also long out of touch. It turns out they are speaking down the hall at an event. I take the phone into the event the sound is being broadcast. The phone becomes deadly silent. After a few moments the they hang up. I wake feeling sad and lonely.

Notes: Two scenes had hyper detail, like when going lucid. I woke without naming it and thought I had forgotten it. I may have been all of the three main characters. The chafeur, the actor and the observer/grunt.

What does the dream want? Fir me to clean up the chaos in my life.

Reality check: Way too many...

1. Destructive driver(James? Me?)

2. Chaos in facility...my house.

3. Over charged for old shit...yes

4. Missed old connections?

Bumper sticker: Petal to the metal reals havoc.

Dreams to action: Resolve financial and physical issues. Get relationships back in integrity.